IVF cycle/FET after MMC

[Jx3303]

Looking for some hand holding / advice 🩷

After quite a difficult journey (2 NHS cycles that didn't lead to transfer, and 2 out of 3 collections of a multi package cycle) we finally got to transfer an embyro in April. Sadly this ended in a MMC which broke me. The management of the MMC was a long drawn out process of waiting, failed surgery, failed medication, and finally weeks later I got the all clear. I've had a break and had a scan to check all is ok.

We are now planning to do the 3rd cycle of our multi cycle package with my next period due in around 2 weeks, and to then PGT-A test all the embryos we have before another transfer. Not sure I'll get to another transfer this year but hopefully the testing can be done.

I am really battling internally worrying about whether or not I am ready, if I can do this again, and if I'm strong enough. But then on the other hand, the waiting is so very difficult. I am so anxious and with our IVF clinic being 6 hours away, I have to be away from home for a considerable amount of time. Testing the embryos is also giving a whole new level of worry. I have a very bad habit of catastrophizing. Guess I'm just looking for those who understand and can relate, and any advice. I am having a lot of very down days I think the closer the next cycle gets. Thank you and love to anyone reading ❤️

Sorry to hear about your loss and previous cycles. As someone who has had several cycles I will admit the thing that got me through it when I hit a really hard time was taking up the counselling offered by the clinic. I'm not one to talk about my feelings and I still didn't, however, I was given a better understanding of my own behaviours and how to manage what I feel. It was really a really special time for me as the counsellor knew the IVF process, the numbers, the procedures etc so she could really understand what it meant. The clinic would send her the reports of each visit so she knew exactly what she was working with.

@Rosequartzz thank you so much for your kind response 🩷 and I am sorry that you too have had several cycles.

I completely agree, I actually still speak to my NHS fertility counsellor even though I'm now private, as she has been there since the start so knows our entire journey. I find the sessions so helpful and have one tomorrow. Sometimes I just get so stuck in a rut but I am hoping once I've actually "in" it and doing something to move forward I will feel better. A break is always worthwhile but it gets to the point that I just want to get going on one hand too xx