How to deal with the wait between transfers?

[Ellenn]

Last week I found out my recent transfer wasn’t viable at 7 wks, it was my 3rd transfer and 3rd miscarriage.

My clinic has said likely would be January due to length of waiting list at the moment for another transfer 😭 trying really hard to not feel down about this but it’s so difficult as I just want to move forward and get onto the next one.

I’m on a nhs cycle so constrained in what I can do, they have offered me recurrent miscarriage bloods. Has anyone managed to get any other testing done? I know they won’t look at immune testing and I’m not sure if I’m convinced either about it. I was also looking at the COMET DNA fragmentation test for my partner.

would welcome any comments re testing above or suggestions in how you might have dealt with similar circumstances, or to give me hope it may work one time ... Would love to hear from you xxx

Hi,
I was with the NHS, I found the NHS would only do certain ‘medically proven’ bloods. I’ll attach a list of what they screened me for, you will probably need to google most of them, I did lol

:)

@SH998 thanks for the information! I’ve got another appointment next Thursday so I’m hoping the bloods can be done then. Did you tests come back with anything? I suppose at this stage it would be so nice to know if it’s the embryo or me not working properly 😳

@Ellenn no, mine came back all clear, in a silly way I wanted something to show as dealing with the dreaded ‘unexplained’ is a nightmare.

The only difference from my last transfer (now 10 weeks pregnant) and the others was increased progesterone.

Worth asking them what other investigatory tests can be done, I found I had to push for more. They did also discuss a hysteroscopy which is where they check the uterus for any bacterial infections or abnormalities. This can be done on the NHS but I was told it’s a 6 month wait and they can’t do treatment while waiting.

Im assuming the NHS wouldn’t test your embryos? That’s not a service they offered for me.

@SH998 congrats! That’s great news 😁

I was thinking it would be frustrating getting unexplained as we are currently unexplained infertility so would be annoying to be unexplained recurrent miscarriages too!

for this transfer I was on extra progesterone too. NHS don’t test the embryos at all and actually my clinic doesn’t even do it. Wow that’s a long wait, think if they recommend it might see if I can do privately.

I was looking into the dna fragmentation test for my partner as might be interesting if it comes back high and possibly means our embryos aren’t as good as they look (I think it’s silly how they give them grades - gives you false hope I feel!)

was this your 4th transfer that worked? Sorry please ignore if I’m being too nosy!

Hi @Ellenn. I don't have the magic answer but just wanted to show some solidarity. We have just had a MC at 7 weeks from our last FET. It will likely be at least December before we can transfer again - we are with a private clinic but they want us to wait 2 full cycles before we start again. I had a MMC in May and had to wait until start of August to transfer again.

For me one, it's the worst parts of fertility treatment - the waiting between. At least when I am in a cycle I feel like I'm on the right path. But the waiting in between in frustrating and heartbreaking - watching everyone else announce pregnancies and have babies. We're unexplained too but I'm guessing they'll be doing more tests now as this is my 3rd miscarriage in a row.

I hope you have better luck with your next cycle but in the meantime, treat yourself if you can. Mini breaks, dinners out, meeting up with girlfriends. Keeping myself busy with plans really helped xx

@Ellenn on paper everything is fine for us both but clearly there was something not right. My partner has 2 children so the issue was with me.

I wouldn’t get caught up in grading, we put in 2 top grade AA’s and that transfer failed. This transfer we used 5BB.

This was my 4th transfer, the first ended in miscarriage, second and third failed and this one was the fourth and I pray it’s a healthy full term pregnancy. I know how upsetting and heartbreaking it is, it’s a long, brutal journey. Stay positive it will happen when the time is right.

I'm so sorry for your losses 😔 I recently had a MMC also when I should have been 7 works, after a year of ivf and finally our first transfer. I was and still am beyond heartbroken. We've decided to do the 3rd cycle (we signed up for a 3 cycle package but had a good result with embryos so did a transfer after cycle 2) and then send the embryos we have for PGT-A testing. It's not for everyone but I actually recently joined a miscarriage association zoom call for pregnancy loss and it was really worthwhile and helpful for me to talk to other ladies who understood and can relate. I have some really down days and struggle a lot. So sad for the hope and love that I already had for that baby. Can NHS do embryo testing? My clinic is now private so we can do it, at a hefty cost. Xx

@hja62 thanks for your message, I’m exactly the same and find the wait excruciating!! I feel if we were going to get to transfer stage sooner that would really give me a boost and let me look forward to something. It’s so tricky when it’s 5 months away 😭 I hope both our next cycles are the ones that work for us 🤞 you just are hopeful aren’t you getting to 3rd transfer like the odds should be in our favour but that’s not the case. I definitely feel you about the pregnancy announcements I always have people on my radar thinking oh goodness they will be next and here we are sitting making no progress …

@SH998 yeh all my transfers so far have been 5AA gradings which I believe are meant to be good quality. The remainder of our embryos have high grades too, thinking maybe I need to try a lower grade and it might work 🙈just doesn’t seem to really correlate does it but I suppose my 3 transfers are nothing compared to the statistics they base everything off. I hope your baby sticks around for a good wee while yet xx

@Jx3303 my clinic doesn’t do embryo testing unfortunately and the embryologist actually recommended against it. I think I might ask them again the reasoning though as it seems like if I continue to have miscarriages it might be worth testing them. Probably not this round as it’s through nhs but maybe in the future. How long does it usually take to receive results?

Ello all, I’m in a similar boat. MMC at 7 weeks but reality is I had surgery at 10 weeks (last Tuesday). We’ve decided to have our remaining four embryos tested for abnormalities as I want to remove as much risk as possible so I doubt we’ll be having a transfer until December.

I just want to be pregnant NOW but also looking forward to my poor body resetting and also doing a few fun things we’ve been putting off. I’m also going to start focusing on a better diet and do regular exercise. I’ve been a hermit since June really.

@Ellenn my apologies I realised further up the thread your clinic didn't do testing.

The wait is always so hard, I'm not sure I'll get another transfer in this year. I don't quite know the wait for my clinic but I've read online it varies. By the time I go again it's going to be 5 months since my last cycle. The first few months I definitely needed and the clinic agreed but the last has dragged and I want to get my third and final cycle of the package just done. I did consider just testing the embyros we have but the third cycle is paid for so makes sense to try and get another one or two. The thought of testing them is giving me all sorts of more anxiety.

@FiddleLeaf we sound in a similar position. I am so sorry for your loss, sending love and support x