Friends with zero fertility concerns?

[plantbasedlondoner]

I am in my mid-thirties and just did my first round of IVF with a pretty shabby result. I've got stage 3 endo and my mother had early menopause when she was in her late 30s.

However, my best friend who I am usually so frank with has been the hardest to talk to. She has an intense career working long hours and is planning to TTC in a couple of years after she turns 36. She has never had regular periods but doesn't think this is a problem. She also uses the withdrawal method with her husband and always has done with ex-partners. I know it's ridiculous and it's nothing to do with me but I just feel so resentful that she doesn't really worry about her fertility at all, knows nothing about her reproductive health and will probably conceive in a flash. When I told her to maybe get things checked out, she said her mum never had an issue and her grandma had kids at 40.

I feel resentful that she hasn't spent her years worrying about it or struggling to conceive like I have. The mental load around this has been huge for me and it's something she won't be able to relate to.

If she doesnt have regular periods, it is unlikely she will conceive in a flash.

however... we all deal with things differently. It is not her fault that fertility hasnt filled her mind for years.

In the nicest possible way, this is not about her, it is about you.

@plantbasedlondoner to be fair , you never know what someone is going through. I have struggled with infertility since my early 20s , now almost 38 and throughout all this time I was constantly bombarded with comments from friends when are you going to have kids ect there was always the question of why we haven't had kids and I would always shrug it off, i never had irregular periods either but acted like i wasnt worried, even to my best friend and say were not ready or this or that as a reason why when in reality it was because I knew I couldn't get pregnant but it was a very personal journey between me and my other half and its not something I ever wanted to share with anyone , including my best friend. It was very just something I dealt with emotionally on a daily basis and it's just not something I want to talk about with anyone besides whom it concerns.
Even tho you've shared your journey with your friend, not everyone is so open with theirs. I did have a friend who took a few years to conceive and was open with her own journey and even then, I chose not to share mine. For some people it's just such an intimate personal thing. Here I am again going through ivf in the next month or two and I haven't even shared this with my mum. I've literally never told anyone other than anonymous mumsnet.
I'm not saying that's the case with your friend at all, but all I'm saying is you shouldn't question anyone on their reasons for wanting to wait. If women don't want to rush into having children until the time is right, then that's OK too. I just don't think it's a topic that anyone should be judged on