Do I go private ivf or wait for nhs?

[cinderellaman]

Long story short, I don't think I can take much more of trying naturally each month to be met with negative after negative tests. It's mentally destroyed me and I'm at rock bottom. Have been trying for 20 months (1 year before laparoscopy, 8 months after) was told after the lap to expect a natural pregnancy as I have no problems other than the one blocked tube.

I'm realising that ivf is looking more and more likely but can't decide if to go private or wait for nhs. I'm in the East Midlands.

We can't necessarily afford private up front but are willing to get a loan/credit card etc. I'm worried that I'll wait for nhs for a long time and that it will be a waste of time anyway as (from what I've heard) the nhs round is more of a diagnostic/test round and they aren't as thorough as private ivf.

I have one blocked tube which is my problem. I have been told this shouldn't be an issue at all but it seemingly is.

I also don't know if I'm being hasty and I need to just be patient and continue naturally. I know IVF will not be a walk in the park and I'm trying to seriously weigh this all up before making a decision.

Any suggestions would be really appreciated. Thank you 🙏

Hopeful bump

I'm sorry you find yourself here. Definitely get an NHS referral because you may need more than one round so whether you wait for it or not, get the referral in. You will probably have to do tests first and you may need the same ones for the private clinics so it's good to get the ball rolling.

Before you do anything tho read your local area policy on IVF. It varies so you will want to know what you are entitled to. For example in my area I was entitled to 2 rounds over age 40 (which I was) but private rounds counted towards it. So because I did a private round first I was only entitled to one NHS.

I had falsely assumed there would be a long wait for NHS but there was no wait at all. Admittedly this was 5 years ago but I think it's best not to assume things without checking as you never know.

We had our DD from our second (NHS) round.

Best of luck.

Hi @cinderellaman

It's such a huge decision isn't it, and you cant know whats right as its hard to gauge NHS waiting times. However, I went private as we had male factor infertility and no way could get pregnant naturally, found out about 8 months into trying. The mental and physical toll of that time, short as it was in the grand scheme of things, as well as a private op that failed to fix the issue soon after (NHS won't do the op my husband needed usually) meant we were keen to start ASAP. We used savings we'd put away towards a deposit during covid and from paying for the cycle to getting pregnant it was 4 months for us.

I'm now 38 weeks and still awaiting the NHS referral I filled in last year as a contingency in case private didnt work. I'm sure if I chased it up it would have happened by now but because I got pregnant on the 2nd transfer of my first private round I haven't chased of course.

I would say look closely at the actual costs of IVFA first, clinic by clinic of those near you, as there are hidden costs. I paid for a multicycle package which was about £8800 for ICSI (had to have icsi due to male factor and slightly more expensive.) Meds for first cycle were about £2500. The consultation and scan fees were a couple of hundred if I recall correctly. The thing to note is that most clinics charge per frozen transfer, about £2500 thereabouts. If you get more than one embryo and the rest are frozen, if you go for just paying for a cycle of IVF cycle and first transfer doesn't work you may end up with more fees. Worth looking at refund packages too :)

Speaking as someone now 39 weeks pregnant when this time last year i hadn't done a cycle yet and had just filled in NHS paperwork and paid for the private mukticycle, if time isn't on your side and you really can't cave more TTC, if you can make it work financially then it's a good idea, not only because you really feel like you're actively doing something instead if that awful two week wait mystery.

Long reply sorry!

Oh and 100% seconding what pp said above, check your trust as yours may be quicker than mine and private may negate your NHS entitlement, mine in Surrey luckily didn't but many do.

Thank you so much - you've both been really helpful.

Ivf in my area on the nhs is only one round :( this is why I'm concerned about waiting for it and it taking forever for just one round. But I also don't want to get myself in debt by being hasty.

Im terrified of actually admitting to the doctors that I really do need help too :( my blocked tube discovery was the most horrendous and unexpected shock but the doctors were so blase about it and acted like it was no big deal!! Such a difficult decision :(

I had to go private due to my age and it’s was super quick. I was having ivf within a month but I had previous tests with them which sped things up.

We went with Access Fertility and their multi cycle scheme so we get two fresh rounds and unlimited transfers. It’s already paid for itself! It was £10.3k for us because I’m 38 but it’s cheaper if you’re younger and they have refund schemes available too.

Good luck 😊

Completely agree with what others have said. Just one thing to add (based on my experience), if you are going to start with NHS, double check the policy for the ICB - this was an increase on the number of rounds offered by my CCG but appreciate this is different in each area. Ask your GP the names of the different clinics they can refer you to as I phoned each of them to ask their waiting time which varied significantly and then I picked the one with the shortest time.

Do private. We are nhs nd we are onto our second round now with them and we've been with them over 2 years. Unexplained so had to wait longer and all the tests are pointless and thru still can't find a reason as to why it's not worked. We were going to go private 2 years ago and regret not going. It will point towards your nhs round though so may he worthwhile doing nhs before private but all depends on age and other factors. We started when we were 30 which as 4 years ago...still waiting...it doesn't get any easier, it gets worse and you feel the time pass.

@Reddy01

Sorry you are still waiting - 4 years is obscene. I'm 30 now.

My husband is going to have a semen test this month so we can try and hopefully rule any problems his end out too. Obviously I already have a diagnosed problem but we need to check if he is ok too. I feel like I'm in complete denial but I just can't take another month of heartache.

Hope all goes well for you and you have some good news soon xx

@cinderellaman I would firstly say you are not being hasty to peruse ivf. DH and I tried for a year and a half naturally and I honestly found the last 6 months mentally exhausting. Perusing ivf for me felt like we were finally doing something positive towards having a baby.

we did all tests through the nhs and were diagnosed with mfi. As a result we were accepted for ivf on nhs and where I am based (London) there were no waiting lists. From starting tests to being told we could start ivf it was about 4 months in total. You can also call up local clinics to ask how long their waiting list is.

I think it’s also important to look at what you get on the nhs. Often people need multiple rounds of ivf to be successful (or for siblings) so you may have to pay at some point. Therefore any rounds you can get for free are totally worth it!

We did one NHS round and have both our children from it. It can work.