Mentally coping / pregnancy announcements etc

[Monikkas]

This might be a stupid question as I’m not sure how people cope.

But any tips or tricks on how you cope when you want another baby and can’t have one (or another), struggling with infertility and someone close tells you they are pregnant.

Does the pain ease over time if it never happens, do you reach a good place eventually?

Im worried im going to cry every day for the rest of my life and it’s no way to live. Looking for peoples hints and tips on how to navigate life when you really want something that’s probably not going to happen.

@Monikkas sorry to hear how hard it is right now. A lot of people feel that way and you are not alone.
My husband reminds me there's not a finite amount of babies available and that our time will come. Obviously that's a platitude and I don't know your personal circumstances, but I do know how hard it is.
I don't want to be upset or bitter either but you can't help it and that makes you feel horrible.
So just be kind to yourself and if you want to skip the baby shower, don't worry about it.
Hope that helps x

It's really tough. I found with people I know, confronting it head on and talking with them about how exciting it was etc actually helped. Focusing on their excitement rather than my sadness. Probably not for everyone but I used to strangely feel better after doing it and it at least got rid of the guilt that I should be more excited for them! Not to say it got rid of my upset completely, but it did lessen it a bit.

@Monikkas it's super hard. We have been trying to get pregnant for four years and so many of our friends and family have had babies during that time. It doesn't get easier unfortunately but I find that by hiding people on Instagram and Facebook (If you use them) it's a bit easier.

I've finally got pregnant on my fourth ivf round and will not be making any sort of announcement about it. Because I know I'm how hard it is for some people to read x

No advice unfortunately but I totally understand. I'm currently waiting for my best friend to announce her (inevitable) pregnancy that I know is coming soon. I'm petrified.

Thanks all feeling better this evening. Just had a proper wobble this lunch time.

Hi, I know how difficult this is, especially if it is someone close to you or you were unaware they were trying or fell on when or even trying (yet not protecting).

One of my close friends fell pregnant and didn't realise till she was 8 weeks just as one of my IUIs failed, she was respectful and didn't ask me pregnancy related stuff and I was open with her and told her I didn't want to know about the labour side. She's a really good friend so I hope it can stay that way and we can find a good balance, she had her baby a few weeks ago and has sent a few messages and pics but the insta stories I have found difficult as there's alot more, I have muted her one WhatsApp and even set a fingerprint lock on WhatsApp. Find it's one of those apps I open on autopilot so the lock just makes me stop and think do I need to check it? I will check it when I'm feeling in a good/better place and at the right time where it's not going to knock my day.

Similarly as someone else said I mute the people on FB / Insta and unfollow their story and actually logged myself out of insta/FB.

Think it's easy just to open those apps and it always feels like there's something baby/pregnancy related on there.

I just try to remind myself it's not their baby I want, I want my own. When you need to cry then cry, but also try remind yourself you are taking good steps on your journey. Wishing you good luck x

I would also mute their posts and stories on FB/IG. It’s one of those situations unless you’ve been there you don’t understand just how triggering it can be. You do what you can to protect yourself, it’s bad enough you think about your baby all the time and what your life could be like without needing to see it happening to others.

It took us 9 years to conceive our son, at the end of 2021 I was suffering from depression and got the point where I couldn’t do it anymore so we discussed giving up. Three months later I found out I was pregnant and spent the entire time in complete shock. I didn’t post anything about him until he was born as I didn’t want to make anyone else feel how I did with posting scan photos and all the pregnancy updates etc.

I have unfollowed people on social media that I find triggering, thanks for that advice.

I had someone check in with me this morning due to a situation yesterday that was uncalled for and upset me. So it’s nice to know people care.

Life isn’t fair or equal but I have so many things to be grateful for. I need to focus on these more; cry into my pillow when needed and try to move on. Sending everyone a massive hug

It's so hard. Everyone fighting their own battles xx