3dp5dt - transfer buddies?

md12345 · 2023-05-13T20:53:01+00:00

Any transfer buddies out there? What symptoms do you have and when are you planning on testing? Part of me wants to just go take a test now but I don't want to end up discouraged so I am trying my best to hold off. I have had cramps since the day after the transfer, although today they are not as strong as the days prior. My boobs are also hard and sore. And I am peeing a lot. Not sure if these are all just from the progesterone.

grcrobbo · 14/05/2023 06:37

Hi, my transfer was Wednesday. I’ve had no symptoms at all and so know mine has failed. I’ve had 4 transfers now. The only one that worked was my first one (although ended in mmc). I had cramps, twinges, and back ache days 3-5 for that. So cramping for me was a good sign.

All my other transfers I’ve felt nothing and they’ve all been BFN so I can see this has gone the same way x

Janefx40 · 14/05/2023 07:12

@grcrobbo I honestly thought I knew it all re symptoms post transfer. I've had 6 transfers with every result going - this last one I felt nothing and was so upset as it was my last embryo and I "knew my body and that it hadn't worked". Currently 39 weeks pregnant.

I used to be so dismissive of people who said you just can't tell but I'm afraid I am now one of them!

Best of luck to you both xxx

grcrobbo · 14/05/2023 07:28

Janefx40 · 14/05/2023 07:12

@grcrobbo I honestly thought I knew it all re symptoms post transfer. I've had 6 transfers with every result going - this last one I felt nothing and was so upset as it was my last embryo and I "knew my body and that it hadn't worked". Currently 39 weeks pregnant.

I used to be so dismissive of people who said you just can't tell but I'm afraid I am now one of them!

Best of luck to you both xxx

Thanks so much for the encouragement and congratulations 💗 I feel like if I had cramping for my successful transfer then I would need to feel it again if this was going to work? It also doesn’t help I’ve got a stark white BFN this morning (although I know it’s early).

Did your symptoms differ even between successful transfers? I also “know in my heart” this has failed and that’s hard to shake off 😔

Janefx40 · 14/05/2023 08:26

@grcrobbo I mean this kindly and as someone who has felt the same as you but your heart doesn't know whether your transfer has worked. Your heart knows that you have gone through huge trauma and that you can't believe this has worked. That's not the same as knowing.

It may or may not have worked. I can't have the answer to that but I do know that gut feelings can be wrong. Even if this hasn't worked it really doesn't mean your gut feeling was right. There is so much trauma and despair in infertility and I didn't even realise that until the end. I got so focused on the next step I just kept ploughing on.

Across 6 transfers I had 1 BFN, 2 chemicals, 1 miscarriage at 9 weeks (all fine in early days) and 2 successes.

All of my positive tests had involved cramping of some kind whereas my BFN I felt literally nothing. My chemicals I felt something but it was more on and off than my positives. So I thought that was related to the results. BUT my last transfer I felt nothing so was convinced it was a BFN and it wasn't. I only tested on the day I did because I went to the loo and was bleeding and thought I just wanted to draw a line under it.

I thought I was so experienced and knew my body's reaction inside out. Now I'm pretty sure it was just different responses to progesterone and just coincidence that I felt those things.

I think the not knowing post transfer is one of the hardest parts and drives us to distraction. We are in a world where we are used to being able to get any information in seconds. Even health wise there is usually a test that can tell us the answer. But there is nothing we can do in the 2WW but wait and that is horrendously hard.

All you can do is be kind to yourself. Watch nice TV, eat nice food and accept that this next couple of days will be hard.

Sending lots of love x

grcrobbo · 14/05/2023 08:32

Janefx40 · 14/05/2023 08:26

@grcrobbo I mean this kindly and as someone who has felt the same as you but your heart doesn't know whether your transfer has worked. Your heart knows that you have gone through huge trauma and that you can't believe this has worked. That's not the same as knowing.

It may or may not have worked. I can't have the answer to that but I do know that gut feelings can be wrong. Even if this hasn't worked it really doesn't mean your gut feeling was right. There is so much trauma and despair in infertility and I didn't even realise that until the end. I got so focused on the next step I just kept ploughing on.

Across 6 transfers I had 1 BFN, 2 chemicals, 1 miscarriage at 9 weeks (all fine in early days) and 2 successes.

All of my positive tests had involved cramping of some kind whereas my BFN I felt literally nothing. My chemicals I felt something but it was more on and off than my positives. So I thought that was related to the results. BUT my last transfer I felt nothing so was convinced it was a BFN and it wasn't. I only tested on the day I did because I went to the loo and was bleeding and thought I just wanted to draw a line under it.

I thought I was so experienced and knew my body's reaction inside out. Now I'm pretty sure it was just different responses to progesterone and just coincidence that I felt those things.

I think the not knowing post transfer is one of the hardest parts and drives us to distraction. We are in a world where we are used to being able to get any information in seconds. Even health wise there is usually a test that can tell us the answer. But there is nothing we can do in the 2WW but wait and that is horrendously hard.

All you can do is be kind to yourself. Watch nice TV, eat nice food and accept that this next couple of days will be hard.

Sending lots of love x

Thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful response - it means a lot 💗

There has been a LOT of trauma which has led to this - we’re actually doing IVF for genetic reasons after I lost our first baby to a rare genetic condition I had no idea I was a carrier for (we had to TFMR at nearly 24w). IVF with PGD seemed like the safe and obvious answer but it’s been an awful, long, expensive and traumatic process. The furthest we got was a mmc at 8w.

So, I really want and need this to work. I just wish I felt something but I will try and hold on to some hope. Thank you x

Janefx40 · 14/05/2023 08:44

@grcrobbo I'm so sorry for your loss. I really hope this works out for you ❤️

grcrobbo · 17/05/2023 07:37

Janefx40 · 14/05/2023 08:44

@grcrobbo I'm so sorry for your loss. I really hope this works out for you ❤️

Jane, I think I have good news!

Got a crazy faint line (the type only you can see) at 5dpt. Another the next day. My FRERs arrived yesterday and this morning and have got an ok line on that at 7dp5dt.

Still absolutely NO symptoms whatsoever. Nothing. Not one cramp, twinge, back ache. Just goes to show how every transfer is different.

Still a long way to go - this will be my 4th pregnancy and I have no living children so I don’t feel like celebrating, but it’s a step in the right direction I guess.

Thanks so much for your kind comments 💗

Janefx40 · 17/05/2023 08:59

@grcrobbo wow this is great news and a perfect line for 7dp. Will have everything crossed for you 🤞🏼🤞🏼

I had my baby yesterday. He's gorgeous.

@md12345 sorry - I realise I never responded to you and then the thread went in another direction. I hope you're feeling ok. When is your test day?

grcrobbo · 17/05/2023 09:02

Oh wow really!! Congratulations!! Lovely news 💗 hope you’re both doing ok x

Fox01 · 26/05/2023 14:12

@grcrobbo is there any update? Did things continue to be successful? I am the same as you in some sense, 1st fresh transfer I had all the twinges, sore boobs and backache that disappear and the tests stopped getting darker and I miscarried at 6+2. Now I am day 2 into my FET and feel nothing. It was nice to read that no symptoms don't necessarily mean negative. I don't have much hope for this one for some reason. Never did. I think it's the ivf depression

grcrobbo · 26/05/2023 16:18

@Fox01 - hi, I’m pregnant but it’s looking like it’s not viable. My HCG levels are too low. Likely will miscarry.

Fox01 · 26/05/2023 16:34

@grcrobbo im sorry to hear that. That is the same situation I had! This is never easy is it 😔

grcrobbo · 27/05/2023 11:24

@Fox01 i’m sorry 😔 can you remember what your levels were?

Fox01 · 27/05/2023 12:49

@grcrobbo They were about 121 and then 140 2 days later. That was about 17dt5dt?

grcrobbo · 27/05/2023 12:51

@Fox01 ah, I’m sorry. My levels are quite similar:

14dp5dt - 114 (clinic wanted over 200)
16dp5dt - 209

My next test is on Tuesday which I guess will pretty much tell us how this is going 😔

Fox01 · 27/05/2023 13:03

@grcrobbo thats difficult because it is still doubling in some sense so they will want to see the 3rd. I didn't get a 3rd since it wasn't close to doubling. Are you nhs or private? I don't rate nhs as no protocols seem to change or extra testing. I had to wait 2 years due to unexplained infertility and I know 2 females that both had male factor infertility and they got to skip the queue due to the diagnosis and they both have children from their first and second transfers and here's me still waiting but constantly told we are fertile. I just find it all so unfair.

grcrobbo · 27/05/2023 13:06

So we were originally doing IVF for genetic reasons so had 3 NHS rounds (3 transfers - 1 mmc and 2 BFNs). We then did 2 rounds private. All this has been done at CRGH in London which is meant to be one of the best clinics in the country but it still hasn’t worked for us. I think I’m just crap at IVF! I have low AMH in addition to being a genetic carrier and so it’s just been an uphill battle throughout. X

Fox01 · 27/05/2023 14:30

@grcrobbo oh what a hassle more than anything!! Did you get one embryo every ivf round as I thought nhs rounds were more on ivf than transfers? Or so I've been lead to believe but then that depends on number of eggs. I have heard good things from London but if you did want to give another try somewhere different the ones in Greece are meant to be really good. I know it is maybe the same amount money wise when all factored in but maybe they could try something different. I feel for you. It is not easy especially low amh as I know some clinics want a certain number too. If I could solve your 'problem' I would. I guess you have the choice of donor eggs but again that is a lot easier said than done and a decision that only you can make. I used to think I'd never use donor but I have changed my mind recently. We aren't able to use and don't necessarily need to just yet but we will see how things go.

HSingh15 · 27/05/2023 16:42

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Fox01 · 27/05/2023 18:40

@HSingh15 you might be best creating a new post as if you read, someone is going through a potential miscarriage after previous losses. I had my 2nd transfer (1st FET) on the 24th and my test date isn't until the 8th. I had a miscarriage with the last and have no symptoms with this one and I am not hopefully in any way. I don't think you'll get much optimistic chat here.

HSingh15 · 27/05/2023 19:04

Hey there
i am so sorry,
i will definitely do that and if there a way to delete my previous post please let me know
I am honestly so so sorry xx

Fox01 · 27/05/2023 19:20

@HSingh15 don't be sorry, I'm sure there are some that have had positive stories, I just think this may not be the best thread for finding your continual hope. Best of luck with your tww