Can't have a second child

[Thea91]

My DS turned 3 recently and due to multiple problems since his birth from having retained placenta for 9 weeks following a planned C-section, it's highly unlikely I will be able to have anymore children. I am still under treatment for my problems, had an operation a few months ago and will be starting hormone treatment soon , however I still haven't had a proper period since having him.

I thought in my head I only wanted one DC but have come to the realisation that I have been telling myself and everyone around me that so I don't have to deal with the upset. I love my DS more than anything and had 3 miscarriages prior so I am so grateful for him. I was just wondering how anyone in the same boat dealt with the longing for another? My partner loves our DS but is quite happy with just the one.

I know the feeling will pass and I know many people can't have one child so I know how blessed I am . I just feel a bit sad that the choice of having another has gone .

@Thea91 I had always hoped to have 2 children however it took us 8 years, 9 IVFs, 2 FETs, many IUIs and 3 miscarriages to have our little boy. I know we are incredibly lucky to have him. We started to think we would never have one! There were a ton of risks as my last frozen embryo worked when I was 44 and I had him before turning 45. I have been through the stages of wanting a second, worrying he will get lonely etc, thinking about other people who had one who is happy. Been upset too. But too risky now and don’t want to use donor eggs. Also I am 45 and we had a personal cutoff of when my partner turned 50 which happened the year he was born. Our son is amazing, so happy, healthy, alert and has a great personality. We couldn’t ask for more with him. He has lots of cousins and we will try to see them as much as we can, one cousin is the same age. It isn’t the same as a sibling I know. I feel grateful for our little boy every day and he is very much loved. Sorry not much help!

My one (only) child from IVF is a bit older. Our subsequent cycles failed, some with losses. Just to say in my experience the pain and sadness did lessen with time. Certain things will still trigger me but we feel more at ease with our family of three now.

There's a one child board here and some Facebook groups which might be helpful for support and more stories.

@HelloMist Thanks for the heads up about the one child board.

I'm sorry this has happened to a few of us.

@HelloMist may I ask, how many cycles did you have afterwards for your 2nd? My son was our 2nd transfer (had some failed iuis before) but we have now had 4 transfers since including a loss and no sibling. It's hard to know when to stop and I still have the thought of "it did work once" in my head. It is comforting to know you are more at ease now. Thank you for pointing out the one child board.