Another failed FET day 6 embryos, losing hope and very depressed.

[EmmaM750]

Hi, I'm 42 years old and this was my 5th IVF. I had my eggs collected when I was 39, we used ICSI total eggs 16, fertilised 12, 8 day 5 blasts and 4 day 6 blasts. I had double embryo transfer each time:
No1 MC , day 5 blasts don't know grade
No2 TFMR, day 5 blasts don't know grade
No3 MC, day 5 blasts 4b+b+ 4b+b+
No4 Failed, day 5 blasts 6b-b-, 6b-b-
No5 Failed, day 6 blasts 3b+b+, 3b-b-
I have 2 frozen embryos both day 6 and not very good grades 2b-b-, 3b-c. I am so depressed after my last failed FET, keep crying a lot, when at work all i want to do is to go home and cry. I was very positive with my last FET despite it being day 6 blasts, i had high hopes for my 3b+b+, i was thinking i will get pregnant it will work. Everything went smoothly, good uterus lining, very good progesterone levels, unfortunately it didn't work. My heart is broken. Currently i can't afford another FET and I'm afraid it will fail anyway. I can't afford another egg collection and this is all i have.

Hi @EmmaM750

I am so sorry to hear about your experience and what you are going through. It is terribly cruel and financial constraints make it feel even more unfair when some people can afford unlimited rounds until eventually works out. 5 failed double transfers sounds like an awful lot to take, especially since 12 blastocysys sounds like an incredibly strong number with excellent odds for success.
I am surprised your clinic would allow those many double transfers as my consultant insists that it increases the risks.

Have you considered getting your last 2 blasts PGTA tested before transfer?
Appreciate that comes with additional costs and may not be an option for you.

I’m in a similar position to you in some respects, I am 43, egg collection last year at 42, I could only ever afford one single IVF round - egg collection and ERA mock cycle done, waiting for results to schedule in my only ever embryo transfer.
Reasons for us choosing to go down the IVF route was specifically to get our embryos PGTA testes after 4 consecutive miscarriages from natural pregnancies and no other cause found other that possibly due to my age I have low egg quality.
We got 5 blasts, which is decent for my age, out of these 5, 3 were confirmed abnormal, one normal which we are going to transfer and one very annoyingly tested inconclusive twice so keeping that on ice, but we have no idea if it’s euploid or not. I am absolutely terrified of what to do with myself and where to go from if the transfer fails.

Have you had any tests recommended to assess possible causes of failed transfers or MC? Trombophilia profile - if you’re in the UK you would be able to get that done on the NHS for free if you had at least 3 losses. Any tests done or recommended on endometrial and uterine health and immune system? All of those things can be factors and are usually recommended after multiple losses or failed transfer so if you’re down to your last two blasts you may want to give those a go first to rule out any other risks. To reiterate, except from Trombophilia, everything else to my knowledge can only be done privately and comes with a price tag. So hard to know what to do isn’t it?

sending hugs, it’s a very lonely place to be, but I think I know how you feel ❤️

Hi, thank you for your message.

I am very sorry for your losses, that must have been very hard for you and your partner. Hopefully IVF will work for you. U have one good embryo and u can get pregnant that is very positive. Sometimes that's all u need to get pregnant. It is very tough journey full of anxiety and unknown but it works for some.

If u don't mind me asking which clinic r u using? I'm using CRGH, they r quite expensive but have good success rates. They charge for PGT-A testing up to 8 embryos £3250 + £800 for thawing and freezing, my last FET costed me around £3.5k including meds up to pregnancy test. Considering i have only 2 day six embryos left and low graded, and there is no guarantee that tested embryos will implant i will take my chance with untested. Currently can't afford another cycle anyway. I had Thrombophilia test and all came back normal, i was offered Alice and Emma tests but they were quite expensive and i couldn't afford it.

It is very hard for women our age, we started trying for a baby when i was 35. I thought i will get pregnant within few months, i never expected that it will take me that long. Most of my friends have children and some got pregnant on first try. With all what happened to me i distanced myself from my friends, last few years have been very difficult, real emotional rollercoster mainly filled with periods of depression and anxiety.

I wish u all the best.❤️

Hi @EmmaM750, I am also with CRGH and indeed they are extremely expensive. That is what I paid for my egg collection cycle with PGT-A yes, plus more as we were recommended ICSI+IMSI as fertilisation method, however I believe for testing blasts you already created may be around £300 each?

I completely get where you are coming from, I was not prepared to be told it was in my best interest, given I only have one single euploid, to do all those additional tests and surely had not budgeted for them (Hysteroscopy +D&C for histology, ERA Mock cycle, EMMA, ALICE and NKC) but decided to spend the last of my savings and max my credit card to see it through as thought if I don't do them and the transfer doesn't work, I will always wonder if I should have. I would have much preferred to another egg collection cycle in the hope to obtain at least one more euploid, but that would have been even more costly and I absolutely could not afford that. It really is about having to be selective and pick what you can afford when you can't afford it all, I totally get it.

So if you paid for PGT-A testing on the two embryos you already have left and they are normal that may only set you back a few hundred pound more in balance, but would give you great peace of mind. Of course if you wanted to do a whole new egg collection cycle and just test those new ones it would be much more expensive. In case they were abnormal (I would cross all my fingers and wished you will all my heart they were not) you would then save the cost of another embryo transfer, plus the potential physical toll of the failed transfer and loss. I completely get this is an extremely personal decision, some people would rather have something to transfer than not have anything to at all. For me personally it was about avoiding any more MC, which I don't feel my body can take anymore or certainly did not feel it could at the time we decided to go down this route after a 4th loss, two of which MMC which ended up requiring surgery.

May I ask which consultant you are with and what's been their rationale for double transfers? What benefits have they quoted that other than cost saving for not having to pay for each embryo to be transferred individually? My consultant at the same clinic is very against the idea of double transfers as apparently it increases all risks, including ectopic pregnancy and miscarriage.

Whatever you decide, I hope your next transfer works. X

Hi @clhiu,

Wow what a coincidence that u r with CRGH as well. Dr Duran is my consultant, she is very nice. I also used Dr Ben Nagi, but preferred Dr Duran. I was allowed to transfer 2 embryos due to my age and because they are not tested. I think they only allow single embryo transfer if they r euploid.

I didn't know u can test single embryos, my understanding was that u had to pay for the PGT-A for up to 8 embryos and then if u had more than 8 there would be charged for additional ones. I will definitely inquire about that as i would pay few hundred £ for testing.

I know what u mean about MC, i had retained tissue and had to have D&C and blood transfusion. This was just awful it took me months to recover mentally from this experience.

Did any of the investigation test reveal anything for u? Would you recommend any of them. I read about them and had mixed feelings and the cost of those tests was very high. Do u know what grade is your embryo? Sorry for bombarding you with questions.

I started to consider going abroad as heard that is much cheaper than UK. The only issue is travelling there and back and associated cost. I personally could not take weeks off from work.

I feel confused what to do. When I think about my embryos grades i want to cry and think that there is no point in trying. On the other hand I've got nothing to lose (except of money) and i will never wonder what if.

Good luck with your transfer, i will have my fingers crossed for u. U did everything u could to make it work. Do u have date for your transfer?

Hi @EmmaM750 to be fair I am not completely sure CRGH will allow testing of single embryos, I was speculating more than anything. You may still have to pay the full 3k for up to 8 even if it’s only 2, but may be worth asking for sure.
I believe there are other clinics in London that charge per embryo, but the costs and logistics or registering and transferring your embryos from CRGH may well still add up.

I have my follow-up consultation to discuss the test results in 2 days so I’ll let you know then what the outcome was, embryo transfer will be hopefully scheduled then at last.

Hi @clhiu,

Good luck with your tests, please let me know how this went for u if u r happy to share. Waiting time must be very stressful for u.
I will ask about testing single embryos, if i don't ask i will never know. I've got nothing to lose.
Take care ❤️

Hey,

Have you considered the NK test? I have had 4 previous unsuccessful ICSI cycles. I recently had the NK test and it came back positive so before my next transfer I have to take a course of steriods.
Maybe it might be worse speaking to your clinic?
Melissa xx

Hi, thank you for your message. I will ask as I have only 2 embryos left and i would like to optimise my chances. I'm sorry that u had 4 unsuccessful cycles, i know how devastating that is and how stressfulthis whole process is. Did u have PGT-A testing done?

Hello!

I’m not sure if either of you will see this but I thought I’d add my story as I’m 29 and it’s not happening for me either.

We got to the 1.5 year mark of trying naturally, in which time we found out there are issues my husbands side which will make it hard for us to conceive.

Just as we were at the 1.5 year mark, we found out I have Polycystic Kidney Disease which led us down the PGD (Pre Implantation Genetic Diagnosis) path which is IVF, but they test the embryos for PKD before a FET.

My AMH is low for my age.

We’ve just found out our 4th transfer failed. We were allowed to transfer 2 embryos this time as we’d had 3 failed cycles, so altogether, 5 embryos transferred over 4 FETs.

2 transfers were chemical. The other 2, nothing.

I hope, like me, you somehow find the slither of inner strength left that’s hiding within your heartbreak to keep going, and that financially, a door opens for you to try again. What about a Go Fund Me?

I’m younger I know, but when I get told ‘You are young, you have time’ my heart breaks a little more. Like salt to a wound. I feel like shouting “but I’m trying now…my pain is now”. I also want to have a baby before my kidney disease gets worse. There are risks with pregnancy I have to consider with my PKD.

We have no embryos left, so hopefully we will be allowed a 3rd egg collection. Usually due to embryo PKD testing, we get 2 or 3 Embryos.

I wish you both every happiness and success. I have no magic words other than keep going if you can. Your heart may break, but I find time helps it heal enough to keep moving forward ❤️

I just wanted to say don't despair about poor grades / embryoscope ratings

heres my transfer history from last year
2 FETs left over from collection when I was 36, the round my son came from - both failed
Fresh ET HB 3,2 score 8 - failed
Frozen transfer ExpB 2,2 score 8 - failed
Day 5 Full blast 22 score 7 - failed

So I did a whole new collection cycle and sent for pgt-a, they got good scores on grading and care maps but they were all complex abnormal.

down to last 2 frosties which were from the 2nd collection but I wrote off based on their scores
Day 5 Early Blast 22 score 5 - twin 1
Day 6 Exp blast 22 score 4 - twin 2

one of my twins barely survived the thaw and wouldn't have been able to be pgt tested and refrozen, as more than 75% of cells need to survive. Something to think about. I nearly opted to pgt test these embryos when I tested the whole new collection, luckily I was properly briefed on that risk by the embryologist.

I cannot tell you how much I was in despair by the time we transferred the twins, hence the double transfer. Sometimes it can all turn around against the odds, the doctors and embryologists don't know it all (as my doctor advised me to be fair)

Oh, in terms of optimizing chances, I went for it with antibiotics and probiotics to try and ensure the environment was right before the final transfer. I have no idea if that made the difference or not

Hi MillieDur,

I am very sorry for your losses. It is hard to stay positive and keep going. IVF takes a lot mentally and physically and financially. I understand how annoying are comments "you are young", i heard from my GP and number of friends "just relax and it will happen " . It did not happen for me and it doesn't happen for a lot of people, if it did IVF clinics would not exist. It is heartbreaking when u cannot get pregnant and all u hear around is about other people pregnancies and babies. And if u know that u have other health conditions that can affect your pregnancy this is even more difficult.

I am planning to have my last 2 embryos transferred in August, i have booked an appointment with my consultant to discuss my options. I am having abnormal bleeedings since my failed FET in early March and i am worried about it. I contacted my clinic last month and they said it can take 2 months for my body to return to normal. I sent another email to the nurses team today and waiting for their response

Take care and I wish u luck. Sending u hugs and positive wishes 🤗 💗

Hi whatcangowrong,

Thank u for sharing your positive story that gives hope and optimism, and congratulations to u. It's good to hear from other women who went through that difficult IVF path and had babies even their odds weren't that great.
I wish your family all the best. 😊

@whatcangowrong

It’s really nice reading your story. I’m faced with the decision of transferring untested blastocysts with lower grades, but historically I never had many blastocysts at 38. At 40, I had 100% blastocyst rate but too late to PGS test due to thawing and refreezing more.

Could you tell me what your grades equate to in terms of a, b or c? Thanks

Hi, i had my last two embryos transferred in August and they both failed. They were both day six grades 2b-b- and 3b-c. My best embryos were day five 3bb. I wish u all the best with your transfer.