@Journey2022 I’m sort of with you, on the puppy front!
My close friends don’t have kids, so it’s quite nice to not have to cope with it with them. Given how upset I felt (completely irrational) when I found out my younger friend was TTC - and the likelihood she would have a baby before me, I’m not 100% sure how I’d be around a baby now. I can imagine being with a baby would make me feel the loss of what we don’t have, rather than feel uncomfortable.
I have felt uncomfortable around other babies, but I was much younger and they’re my nieces/nephews. Not when we had decided to TTC. Before I was even ready to contemplate it. My sister recently had a termination and I completely detached myself from that, was not upset, as it was her situation and a shit one.
If I see a puppy I’m immediately smitten and often want the puppy, although can’t have one as it would be unfair on my old, blind dog. I don’t think that’s me not wanting a baby enough though, I think it’s me wanting a baby and projecting that onto a puppy. Which is what I know, a dog is already part of my family.
I long for a family, me, DH a little one (or two) and a few dogs. It’s more than wanting a baby. I actually prefer children as they move out of the newborn stage and start showing their personality. I was a bit ambivalent of my nieces/nephews when they were babies. Not so much when they started showing who they are as people.
I want our family, not someone else’s. I’m sad that we haven’t got that.
I don’t like pregnancy announcements and I don’t like seeing people pregnant as it just reminds me what we haven’t achieved in nearly 4 years and how my body just doesn’t work. I’ve never been pregnant. I might feel different around babies if I got pregnant and had a miscarriage though.
But yeah, see a picture of a puppy and I want one immediately!