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Infertility

Our Infertility Support forum is a space to connect with others in the same position, discuss causes, treatment and IVF, and share infertility stories of hope and success.

Original poster

Any tips, tricks or things you wished you’d known before ivf?

9 replies

BiscuitLover3678 · 12/02/2023 19:21

We’re finally coming to that stage in our journey where ivf may be the only answer to our secondary infertility.

It feels a bit overwhelming and is obviously a lot of money. The clinic are all good to get us going, but obviously they also have a financial incentive.

We’re desperate for another child but we don’t know how many cycles we can do. It also seems like a lot physically and mentally and I’m wondering how we will cope. A part of me feels this is a sign we should be happy with our one child. :(

Tips? We know absolutely nobody going through this.

OP posts:
Original poster
BiscuitLover3678 · 12/02/2023 21:32

Bumpy bump

OP posts:
Moonkittens · 12/02/2023 22:33

Sorry you've found yourself on this path. As someone who has done ALOT of IVF (struggled TTC no 1 and now struggling TTC no 2) these are my suggestions:

Have you looked at Acess Fertility to fund it, if your clinic offers this? You pay up front for a set number of cycles, they also have refund packages. If you end up needing multiple cycles it will save you money! We also found that it helped to have the peace of mind knowing that we had a plan to do a certain number of cycles, without having to make a decision every time it failed about whether to continue and trying to scrape the money together again. And if it had worked first time we figured we only would have been slightly out of pocket and we just would have been relieved it had worked!

I would recommend the podcast Big Fat Negative and the accompanying book to learn more about it all and just generally feel less alone. I also read the Zita West complete guide and It Starts With the Egg the first time around. The Alex Jones documentary on UKTV Play is good, a very honest account of what it's like to go through IVF and the steps involved - although it definitely shows the bad bits as well as the good, I find it a tough watch sometimes.

With the treatment, just take things one step at a time, once you're in the process you can focus on each stage. The hardest bit is the 2ww at the end, I've found it awful every time so I'm not sure I can advise much other than take care of yourself, plan some nice things to do and maybe take time off work if you can. It's good to avoid stress if possible, not because it's necessarily going to make any difference to the outcome but just to make it easier on you.

Have some nice things planned for after the cycle to look forward to - a little holiday, a family day out somewhere, just some things to bring you together and reconnect with some quality time.

Good luck and there are lots of helpful people on these boards when you have questions or just want to moan. I hope it all goes well for you x

Original poster
BiscuitLover3678 · 13/02/2023 13:31

Moonkittens · 12/02/2023 22:33

Sorry you've found yourself on this path. As someone who has done ALOT of IVF (struggled TTC no 1 and now struggling TTC no 2) these are my suggestions:

Have you looked at Acess Fertility to fund it, if your clinic offers this? You pay up front for a set number of cycles, they also have refund packages. If you end up needing multiple cycles it will save you money! We also found that it helped to have the peace of mind knowing that we had a plan to do a certain number of cycles, without having to make a decision every time it failed about whether to continue and trying to scrape the money together again. And if it had worked first time we figured we only would have been slightly out of pocket and we just would have been relieved it had worked!

I would recommend the podcast Big Fat Negative and the accompanying book to learn more about it all and just generally feel less alone. I also read the Zita West complete guide and It Starts With the Egg the first time around. The Alex Jones documentary on UKTV Play is good, a very honest account of what it's like to go through IVF and the steps involved - although it definitely shows the bad bits as well as the good, I find it a tough watch sometimes.

With the treatment, just take things one step at a time, once you're in the process you can focus on each stage. The hardest bit is the 2ww at the end, I've found it awful every time so I'm not sure I can advise much other than take care of yourself, plan some nice things to do and maybe take time off work if you can. It's good to avoid stress if possible, not because it's necessarily going to make any difference to the outcome but just to make it easier on you.

Have some nice things planned for after the cycle to look forward to - a little holiday, a family day out somewhere, just some things to bring you together and reconnect with some quality time.

Good luck and there are lots of helpful people on these boards when you have questions or just want to moan. I hope it all goes well for you x

Thank you for this I will check those out.

I did wonder about Access Fertility but I couldn’t work out how good they were and how easily they pay out the refunds.

How many times has it taken you both times and are you ok to say what the issue was?

OP posts:
Moonkittens · 13/02/2023 14:24

The first time it took us 4 attempts:
Fresh - BFN
FET - BFN
Fresh - BFN
FET double transfer - BFP single pregnancy

Then the second time not going so well...
Fresh - BFN
FET - BFP but ectopic, lost it at 6.5 weeks
FET - BFN
FET - BFN
We are about to have another FET. I'm having the endo scratch this time as I had it when it worked last time, it was horrible though and the research around it is still quite inconclusive so I was reluctant to do it again!

We don't really know why we can't conceive, there have been various contradictions and theories over the last 6 years. We've had lots of tests and no conclusive diagnosis. I lost an ovary 2 years in after a horrible experience on clomid, and recently discovered that I never had a tube on the right side so obviously that won't have helped! And I now have no tube on the left side either following the ectopic. But none of that really explains why we couldn't conceive naturally at the start or why IVF doesn't seem to work for us. We make apparently good embryos and everything seems to go well until the transfer, it's very frustrating.

Hopefully since you've conceived before, IVF will just be the helping hand you need to get things to happen at the right place and time :)

Original poster
BiscuitLover3678 · 13/02/2023 16:09

Moonkittens · 13/02/2023 14:24

The first time it took us 4 attempts:
Fresh - BFN
FET - BFN
Fresh - BFN
FET double transfer - BFP single pregnancy

Then the second time not going so well...
Fresh - BFN
FET - BFP but ectopic, lost it at 6.5 weeks
FET - BFN
FET - BFN
We are about to have another FET. I'm having the endo scratch this time as I had it when it worked last time, it was horrible though and the research around it is still quite inconclusive so I was reluctant to do it again!

We don't really know why we can't conceive, there have been various contradictions and theories over the last 6 years. We've had lots of tests and no conclusive diagnosis. I lost an ovary 2 years in after a horrible experience on clomid, and recently discovered that I never had a tube on the right side so obviously that won't have helped! And I now have no tube on the left side either following the ectopic. But none of that really explains why we couldn't conceive naturally at the start or why IVF doesn't seem to work for us. We make apparently good embryos and everything seems to go well until the transfer, it's very frustrating.

Hopefully since you've conceived before, IVF will just be the helping hand you need to get things to happen at the right place and time :)

You’ve gone through a lot, I really feel for you! How ‘good’ were your embryos etc? Do you know your amh?

I hope it works for your soon, especially as it has before! Do you have a limit on how many you will do? Sorry if this is all too personal. Trying to work ourselves out really! not sure what is reasonable and how much of a break between cycles is advised.

What’s an endo scratch?

Are you supposed to do anything special diet wise? I feel like I need to sort myself out more seriously now.

OP posts:
Original poster
BiscuitLover3678 · 13/02/2023 16:10

I’m also so sorry about your ectopic 😢 @Moonkittens

OP posts:
Anonbaby · 14/02/2023 09:03

@BiscuitLover3678 just wanted to say hi as we are considering ivf for a third baby after two natural conceptions and having all the same thoughts and worries as you. Just can’t come to a conclusion but we need to move on with life somehow as it’s been two years of TTC now xx

Original poster
BiscuitLover3678 · 14/02/2023 18:44

Anonbaby · 14/02/2023 09:03

@BiscuitLover3678 just wanted to say hi as we are considering ivf for a third baby after two natural conceptions and having all the same thoughts and worries as you. Just can’t come to a conclusion but we need to move on with life somehow as it’s been two years of TTC now xx

have you had any scans or anything? I wish you a good journey - probably see you more on here :)

OP posts:
Anonbaby · 14/02/2023 18:51

@BiscuitLover3678 yes we’ve had every test under the sun. It’s potentially male factor because 1 of the 2 semen analyses was poor but we’re not sure atm. Waiting on another one!

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