FET for second child with big age gap

[MindatWork]

I’d appreciate advice/experiences from anyone else who’s been in this situation. We conceived DD (now 4) on our 6th cycle of ivf, and have 2 pgd-tested blastocysts in storage.

We always said we’d be 1 and done and just kept paying the storage fees every year as we didn’t quite feel ready to let the embryos go. Having sold all our baby stuff last summer and resigned ourselves to life as a happy 3, we’ve now done a couple 180 and decided we would actually like to try for a second 🤦‍♀️. We always wanted 2 children and with DD starting school in September it seems a good time.

It was all good until we had our econsult with the clinic today and now we’re both having a bit of a freak out about going through it all again. I had quite a traumatic pregnancy and birth, and even just going through the fet protocol had me coming out in a sweat.

We have been trying naturally for the last year but no joy. I’m freaking out about opening the door to heartache if it doesn’t work and potentially messing up our lovely calm life if it DOES work (I’ve blocked out most of the baby stage 😂).

Obv there’s a big chance it won’t work but I feel like we have give it a shot - we can afford the treatment and we’re lucky to have the room at home for a baby alongside DD who is our whole world.

Any words of reassurance or experiences of going back for ivf after you swore you wouldn’t? I’m 38 (would be 39 before any baby would arrive) which is adding to my fears.

Thanks in advance x

This is so similar to me I couldn't just read and run! My daughter is 4 and starting school this year and we were exactly the same as you - happy as a three and didn't want to change anything because it was all so perfect.

We had a change of heart last year and decided to have IVF again to try for a 2nd but didn't want it to interfere with our lives too much and rock the boat for our daughter. All was going well until egg collection when I became really unwell and ended up in hospital for a few days with OHSS! We did a freeze all cycle and have 5 blasts waiting in the freezer now (one going back in shortly). The good thing is that if it doesnt work then you do still have your wonderful life and that wont change but if it does work then that will be great too. Theres less pressure for it to work as you already have a child so just think of it as an added bonus if it does xx

Oh thank you for your response @LauraHeart321 i thought I was the only one 🤣. So sorry to hear you were so unwell with your last cycle - I had OHSS symptoms with my last egg collection (33 eggs!) but managed to avoid anything major thankfully.

You’re so brave - I don’t think we’d be trying again if we didn’t have embryos in the freezer. Our successful egg collection cycle was SO expensive/intense and I don’t think I could go through all that again after so many failed cycles previously.

I do feel there’s significantly less pressure this time though - obviously we’ll be sad if it doesn’t work but we’ll just revert to Plan A of remaining as a family of 3. We’re fortunate that we have several other ‘singleton’ children in our social circle so lots of options for holidays/play dates etc in the future.

Wishing you all the best for your cycle! X