Sick of family members telling me to cheer up

[SELE97]

I'm sorry if this comes off really mean but I just want to see if anyone else feels as frustrated as I do. I am sick of family members telling me after bad news that I need to cheer up and that this isn't the end and it'll be worth it in the end. I know all of these things but that doesn't make it any easier. I also know that they're only trying to be supportive but I just feel like my feelings aren't being validated. If I have bad news I want to be sad and angry and feel those feelings, I think it's unhealthy to just pretend like the news you got hasn't just ripped out your soul. It is very tough and I can't be optimistic all the time, sometimes I just need to be sad and grieve for a little while without feeling guilty of expressing those feelings to people.This is why I've been avoiding people at times when I don't feel my best because I know what they say is going to annoy me, and that's more of a reflection on my mental state right not a personal jab at them. But then I get shamed for isolating myself too, I just can't win either way.

I know family have the best intentions but I feel that people who have never experienced IVF have no right telling me how I should feel and when they act like my bad news is no big deal, it hurts. They don't understand what it feels like and never will, and the fact they brush things off like they're nothing makes me feel so isolated.

I feel guilt for getting angry at my family who are trying their best but at the same time they just don't understand. Sorry for the rant, I suppose I just want to know I'm not alone in feeling this way.

Sorry to hear your going through this @SELE97

This was the exact reason I didn't tell anyone in our family about our IVF or fertility journey. In fact I told them all that we had decided that we didn't want children.

I found it easier than having to justify my feelings constantly to people that just didn't understand.

@PMAmostofthetime thank you, yes that completely makes sense. We were debating telling people at the start because of this, but there were many insesnsitive comments passed around that would break me and we knew we had a lot of waiting before we even started treatment so we thought it was best to tell our close family members so that the insensitive comments would stop, which they did. I think either way you still feel alone.

Everything you have said is 100% valid. It's toxic positivity isn't it. You don't need to be told how to feel. Maybe just straight out reply that you are entitled to feel how you feel next time someone says cheer up or whatever.