At what point did you decide IVF was the right call with unexplained infertility?

[TTC2023H]

Looking for some advice re moving to IVF. Unfortunately I live in one of the few areas in the UK which offers zero IVF cycles on the NHS, so can’t be guided by that (but luckily can afford to go private).

I’ve been trying to conceive for a year with no luck (and one miscarriage). I’ve had all the standard tests (sperm analysis, blood test, scans, HSG etc) with no obvious issues. I do have a mildly irregular cycle (5ish day difference) and PCO (not PCOS as no hormone issue) but nothing that would seemingly prevent pregnancy.

I’m in my twenties, so really feel it should have happened by now. We are having sex at the right time (ovulation strips and BBT) so that isn’t the issue. We are a healthy weight and taking pre-Natals, so again not the problem.

We haven’t yet don clomid or IUI but honestly struggling to see the point in our circumstances - any success stories? Has anyone jumped straight to IVF?

At this point I feel desperate for a baby :( really feel I can’t wait longer but IVF seems such a big judgement call.

Hi. I would say it’s really down to individual circumstances and preferences but even at 34/35 I was told it can take up to 2 years and they were happy for us to give it longer naturally. We already have children and are debating at the moment whether to go for IVF but I do think it’s a big step.

you may get prescribed ovulation induction for mildly irregular cycles but I think it’s all down to the consultant you see as some don’t think it helps with your cycle variation and others do. I know because I am the same and have had varying opinions.

have you considered a repeat semen analysis? We have seen differences between tests which could help to explain.

i hope it happens soon for you as I know how awful the feelings that accompany TTC are. Good luck xx

We deliberated for a long time. It was 3 years before we went to IVF and really I think two years max is enough. It’s a hard call but after two years of trying naturally one’s chances really do drop so the statistics for turning to IVF then make the most sense. Obviously if you’re older 35 then 6 months or 1 year might be appropriate. The fact that you got pregnant within one year is a good sign even if a miscarriage, it shows your body can conceive. We didn’t conceive at all for three years and only conceived through IVF (first time was a miscarriage).

I would personally give it one more year. But it’s completely up to you and I understand the exhaustion and frustration that comes with trying naturally. If emotionally you are ready for IVF then go for it. Good luck!

Thank you both for the replies - it’s so tricky as part of me just wants to jump to IVF now. I know IVF is mentally, financially and physically draining but honestly the cycle of Hope/despair also feels like that :(

I appreciate though I’m probably massively underestimating the strain of IVF. In my mind at least it would be a ‘new’ thing to try which might work but equally a tough journey. I’ll try and do some more research

We started TTC when I was 34. After 6 months, I went to GP for bloods to check if everything was okay. It was. I had already had lots of internal scans for unexplained pre AF bleeding and I knew I had no issues like endo, PCOS etc. That ‘relaxed’ me a little and we carried on trying naturally. After 16 months with no pregnancies, we agreed we’d pay for some private fertility testing. I had heard so much from these forums that when going to the GP for tests, you just get so little information and feedback that I wanted time with a fertility consultant to explain things to us and give us options.

All tests were fine for both of us again, albeit my AMH is on the low side for my age but that isn’t a reason for no pregnancy. At that appointment we were told IVF is the best option, there was no indication anything was wrong so wasting time and money trying other options just wasn’t worth it.

At the time, IVF felt very much like ‘woah, that sounds very serious, I’m not ready for that, we’ll get pregnant naturally before we get to that point’. But, as I was 35 turning 36, I was very much aware my eggs were only going to diminish, and as our consultant said ‘my eggs are only as young as I am today’ so essentially before I get too old, start IVF sooner to have the better chance.

so after a lot of thinking we agreed to go for IVF but we live in an area that offers one round on the NHS so we went back to the GP and started ticking their boxes, had a few more appointments/tests and was referred to the GPs local fertility clinic. They agreed I can have IVF and we chose our local private clinic where we’d already had our private tests done.

I am starting IVF this month, exactly 2 years since we started TTC. I am at peace now with starting it even though I still wish we didn’t have to go through this. If it wasn’t for my age, I’d still be trying naturally as there are no known issues with us.

if I were younger, like you, I would have continued to try naturally for sure. When I think back, if we had fallen pregnant early on, we wouldn’t have had some holidays we had, festivals, I’ve fully refurbished our house, travelled the country. We’ve done so much and I’m so glad we had the money for it and made all those happy memories!

So my advice, get all the tests you can to find out any underlying causes. These will explain things or reassure you. Then, as you’re still so young, continue to enjoy your child free time! Save money too.

it’s a journey - and if IVF is the direction you end up going, then you both need to be strong mentally and financially.

OP I would say IVF wasn’t anywhere near as scary as I thought I’d be. We ended up PGTA testing our embryos after the miscarriage and I would really recommend that. I just said you need to be emotionally ready because it can be a rollercoaster but in all honesty nothing was as painful and heartbreaking as our natural TTC journey, so I do completely understand how you want to move on from that. Once you’re pregnant you won’t give two hoots if it was from a natural conception or IVF and it sounds like you are ready so may e the right thing is to go for it now x

@TTC2023H
Hi OP. It's such a tough call to make. I have just started my first round of IVF and have had two miscarriages in the past (been trying 17 months now) although we didn't have unexplained infertility, we really struggled with whether we should keep trying naturally, as we had been pregnant twice before. My hubby has various fertility issues and I have low AMH for my age so I guess that played a part in our decision, as we know we want 2 children so time is ticking. We desperately wanted to avoid any further miscarriages and decided to go for IVF to give us some level of control over the quality of our embryos. Ultimately, we haven't looked back since we made the decision to go for it and almost wish we'd known everything we know now at the start of our journey and went for it straight away, as the last 17 months for us have been absolute hell. Only you can decide when you think you're ready. Is it worth trying something like Letrozole or Clomid first? I've heard of this working for people with unexplained infertility. Good luck with your decision and be kind to yourself along the way. I know how heart breaking this journey can be xx

We went to the gp 7 months after TTC unsuccessfully. We were both 30 - I know you should wait a year but I just had a feeling it wasn’t going to work for us. Had bloods done and all seemed normal. This took a few months due to a couple of errors in the GPs part. We were entitled to one round of ivf but the waiting list for the initial consultation was 11 months so we decided to go private. We were just very impatient and saw ivf as a practical solution (albeit we were not naive to think it would just work). We didn’t have any invasive tests and continued trying naturally but was 15 months from we started TTC until we actually started with the ivf and stims. For us - we just wanted to get going. The month after month of it not working naturally was difficult and we just saw ivf as a possible way to get the outcome. We didn’t really see it as more than that. Of course it wasn’t plain sailing and we had plenty of disappointing but we thankfully and luckily we got there in the end. Goodluck whatever you decide. We were classed as Unexplained but as I say we didn’t actually have much testing done apart from the routine bloods. Our consultant basically said there wasn’t much point as regardless we would likely need ivf - again, I think because we were just so ready for a baby and didn’t want to delay any further we didn’t go down the route of finding a cause.

Hi lovely!!

Just wanted to add my comments too, I was 25 when we started trying, DH was 30.

We tried naturally for 3 years, (DH has a son, so we’d have to pay too!). Now looking back, I wish I took the jump to IVF sooner. I hated everyone who got pregnant after 2 years, it felt unfair, and I just wanted it so so badly.

Funnily enough, DH had his sperm tested for IVF and we’ve actually had to have ICSI. So, actually it’s male factor is the issue for us. Had your partner been tested?💖

It’s a huge struggle with money, I appreciate how bloody crap it is. We have a mortgage plus loans and credit cards now after doing our first round of ICSI (mid process right now). Luckily our parents lent us half the money, but we paid £11,200 for a 2 cycle 50% refund package (with Access fertility) so if it doesn’t work after 2 rounds (it’s more than 2 goes btw- I’m not sure how much you know about IVF but this confused me at first!😅) we get half our money back.

It’s honestly personally preference, but I would recommend your partner be tested, and also just go for it. I wish we had sooner 💖 (I’m now 28 nearly 29!) xx

If you haven't already, I would start taking the supplements from It Starts with The Egg now.

Hi lovely,

I read your post and wanted to comment because we’re in a very similar boat. This is our 19th month TTC and I’ve never had a single positive pregnancy test 😓we’ve had all the fertility tests, nothing is wrong and we’ve been told it’s unexplained.

I am now on my 4th cycle of Chlomid via the NHS. After Chlomid there’s nothing the NHS can do for us…We are also in an area where you don’t get any free IVF, what a joke 😡

Luckily we can afford to go ahead privately too, and have decided to do so. So now we are having to do fertility tests again for the clinic we are going with 🙄 and we have a consultation in Feb. Then we are going to go for it.

I am turning 29 next month and my husband is 33. I’m so done with waiting for this to happen on its own because truly I don’t know if it ever will. I always wanted to be in my mid twenties when I had my first baby, now I’ll be lucky to be in my twenties at all.

Infertility has quite literally been one of the worst things I’ve ever gone through. It’s robbed me of being me. It’s always heavy on my mind no matter what I’m doing or where I am. It’s draining and sad. I feel detached from all my friends who all have babies or are pregnant, I feel like the odd one out, an alien… what makes it harder is that all my friends are getting pregnant by accident or very easily. We do everything “right” timing wise for 18 months and ZERO. It sucks.

Anyways just fancied a vent and to let you know you aren’t alone. I’ve heard of lots of women on forums getting pregnant naturally after a year, but it hasn’t been the case for me. So doing IVF is a judgement call only you can make. I’m now at the point where I really can’t wait any longer. I just want this hell to be over.

Lots of love and luck xx

@Hopemayx couldn’t have explained it any better myself! I resonate with every word of your message. I miss my old life and the old me so much! Feels like someone has stolen a year and a half of my life from me and there’s still no end in sight. Just wanted to say I hear you and I hope your happy ending is just around the corner 🥰

Hi @TTC2023H I appreciate this is an old thread but I just wondered what you decided to do in the end? I’m in a similar position - 30 years old, been ttc baby number 1 for a year now, never had a bfp, all blood tests and scans are supposedly normal apart from PCO (not PCOS) and so the doctor has just said it’s a question of time and to keep trying until we feel ready for IVF, which just feels like such an enormous step! I hate the emotional rollercoaster of the two week wait and part of me wants to just press on with IVF so we can feel like we are actively doing something and moving forward, but I don’t know if that’s far too premature and I’m massively underestimating the toll IVF takes on you!

and @Hopemayx completely agree with every word you said - really hope things have worked out for you 🤞🤞🤞

@Goldendoodlelover Hi lovely :) I posted on here back in Jan when I had just started my first round of IVF and am pleased to say we were lucky first time and I’m now nearly 33 weeks pregnant (ended up having to freeze all and do an FET due to getting OHSS.) anyway, I just wanted to say, I found IVF SO much easier than the rollercoaster of TTC naturally and waiting each month for a negative test. IVF was full of so much more hope for me and gave me a sense of control. Who knows whether we’d be pregnant naturally by now if we hadn’t gone for it but I’ve not looked back or regretted going for IVF once. X

Hi @Koalie, thanks for getting back to me - that’s amazing news, congratulations!! 😀If you don’t mind me asking, how long were you therefore ttc before your IVF? And any advice you’d give / questions you’d recommend asking a doctor before going down that route? Am wondering whether to push to try Letrozole/Clomid first but maybe there’s no point if I’m already ovulating! Best of luck with everything xx

@Goldendoodlelover We fell pregnant the first time trying back in Aug 21 which ended in a MMC … we then fell pregnant again 7 months later which was a PUL, suspected ectopic which resulted in me having to have methotrexate and then ttc had to be put on hold for 3 months. We had all the usual tests, I had low AMH for my age (but not terrible) and my husband had some below average sperm parameters. We also did a DNA frag test for DH which was high so we decided to go for IVF. By this point we were completely battered by the process and needed to try something new. I will say that I’ve seen two people on mumsnet with unexplained infertility go on to fall pregnant using letrozole (even though they were supposedly ovulating themselves anyway) so that’s something I would definitely try before IVF if I were in your position. Xx

"Infertility has quite literally been one of the worst things I’ve ever gone through. It’s robbed me of being me. It’s always heavy on my mind no matter what I’m doing or where I am. It’s draining and sad. I feel detached from all my friends who all have babies or are pregnant, I feel like the odd one out, an alien… what makes it harder is that all my friends are getting pregnant by accident or very easily. We do everything “right” timing wise for 18 months and ZERO. It sucks."
This!!! It's like you've read my mind!! Waiting to hear back from our chosen clinic about starting IVF, 2 years TTC and never seen BFP, irregular cycles (never been diagnosed with anything although PCOS has been mentioned by a couple different drs) and male factor infertility, low count and morphology. Scared to death about starting IVF but hopefully it will be all worth it x

Hi I know it’s been months. But I found this post really interesting touched me. I’m just wondering how things ended up for you as I’m currently in the same predicament.

@SamWalks wishing you all the luck in the world, it's a rollercoaster believe me but it's been worth it.

I had my first round of ICSI in February, the stims and scans didn't bother me at all, no side effects really, I was told from my scans I would have to have a "freeze all" due to high number of follicles, so we got 21 eggs collected, 11 fertilised, 11 made it to day 3 then got a massive shock when we got told on day 5 only 1 had made it to blastocyst and was graded 4CC which is poor, fast forward 9 weeks later for transfer and my little fighter beat all the odds and decided to stick around!! I'm now 5 weeks 5 days so still very early days but feeling super grateful, proof it only takes 1 and grading isn't worth worrying about 🩷

I am soo happy for you and sending you all my prayers and good energy.

I was very similar to you and conceived on the first cycle of letrozole - after 1,5years of TTC.

We waited 3 years, also unexplained infertility. I had weight to lose and we were told they wouldn’t be surprised if it happened naturally so we waited. Did ovulation strips, timed it all right and it just didn’t happen. So I lost the weight I needed to lose, got healthy and decided to go for it. After 3 egg collections, one of which had no viable eggs, a failed fresh, a failed frozen and a chemical pregnancy we finally have our boy. I would say all the months upon months of hoping, scheduled sex and blank pregnancy tests were on par with the difficulties of IVF just because of how long we did it for, so I think it depends how you’re coping right now. Good luck x