Starting egg freezing soon. I'm so nervous!

[Okigen]

So I decided to start egg freezing as I turned 34 now and still single. The process is similar to IVF, I will have an appointment tomorrow to teach me how to do the daily injection, but I'm getting more and more terrified whenever I think about it😖How do people cope? How do you practice to reduce the pain?

Also, if you have a male manager, do you tell them about this? I told mine that I will need to take a day off for some medical procedures. He's very supportive but I'm worried he may start asking further questions when he realises the process will need to repeat a few times.

So much uncertainty so any advice is more than welcome. Thank you🙏

Hi OP. I'm assuming your appointment has been ok now? I've done quite a few cycles of egg freezing but I have to admit I was terrified at the beginning. But honestly, the injections now are soooo easy, it doesn't phase me at all. I sometimes have to take them out with me if I've got plans that evening and have done them in the loos in the restaurant toilets etc. I know it's hard to believe but you'll get used to it quickly. I found the most stressful thing was having to mix them and then panicking about air bubbles or not getting it all injected and silly things like that but it wasn't an issue. Do you have to mix any of your injections or are they the pens? The pens like Gonal-F have such a thin needle you barely feel them. And even the others are fairly easy too- honestly it's nowhere near as painful as having blood tests or vaccinations as the injections are going into fat. You will be so relieved once you get started!

Re your manager, what exactly do you need time off for? The egg collections only? I usually have just booked a last minute day's holiday and said it was for a medical procedure.. they can't really ask any questions without landing themselves in tricky situations. The scans etc I could do around my work luckily.. there's nothing to be ashamed of though if you do mention anything. I did mention it to a couple of people but we have never discussed it again (as I wanted to be the case) it was just a "fyi i'm doing this so might need some last min holiday/time off for scans but i will make up the time" and they basically responded "no problem and good luck" - maybe an email is easier if you feel you need to tell them

@Rosiestraws Thank you, your post calmed me down a lot! The appointment today went well. I was given Gonal F (the pen) and Fyremadel, both of which look rather straight forward, thank God no mixing.

I've just learnt that you need someone to take you home after the egg collection. A friend agrees to help but I'm rather nervous she may not be able to juggle time off so last minute. Worst case I think I'll have to camp in the hospital maybe, until someone can pick me up.

Ah you're lucky! they're nice and easy...honestly the gonal f one you'll barely even feel it! The other one stings a tiny bit but honestly it's so much easier than you think it'll be. I think the big realisation for me was that it's going into fat so that's why it's less painful than a vaccine (going into muscle) or a blood test (going into a vein). I was honestly petrified about that and the side effects before I started (didn't help that it was during covid and I had suddenly developed anxiety about lots of things but in particular health anxiety) but now it seems so easy.

Yes you'll need someone to take you home if you're having sedation (which also, if it's anything like mine has been, is basically the same as being totally knocked out). I just feel exhausted and tired and often nauseous after sedation and just want to sleep. But the next day it's pretty much back to normal. I have an egg collection tomorrow so preparing myself for that for the weekend!

You'll have at least 2 days notice re egg collection as the latest they can tell you is the day they tell you to take the trigger, and that's about 36 hours before. So of they tell you take the trigger today for example then the earliest your egg collection would be is Sunday.

Hope it all goes well for you.

Hi @Okigen ,

Sounds like we're on v similar timelines/ in similar situs so would be great to stay in touch! I'm also early 30s and freezing as I'm single. I did my first set of injections under supervision at the clinic today and have alarm set for 6:45am to do them. I'm on 150 Menopur so have to mix (maybe I'm being overconfident but I don't feel too worried about that part, more so about breaking the vial!) and then start Fyremadel next week.

I haven't had the chance to ask my clinic yet re someone taking me home. I'm tempted to just say there's no one available and I'll need to stay until I'm able to leave - what are they going to do?! This can't be that uncommon a problem with egg freezing - I'm sure most people have friends/family they could ask if needed but it feels like a big favour to call in at short notice.

I have a female manager, who has been great and said to do what I need to do. TBH I would have been quite bullish about it if she hadn't been - other women take time off for IVF and for pregnancy. I just said it's going to be going on over the next couple of weeks and I'll have a couple of appointments, and then I'll need a day or two off at short notice around this date (precise date TBC) and after that it will all be done. It's such a short timeframe really. But I suppose it depends on your work situation - I have a fair degree of autonomy and most of my work can be done flexibly.

My two main worries are (1) the sedation, and (2) it not working. Re (1) I'm lucky never to have had a significant medical procedure and I just hate the idea of the loss of control (what if I say something really embarrassing? Ludicrous that embarrassing myself is a top fear but hey that's my personality!). Re (2), I'm freezing to preserve optionality - not because I'm desperate for children any time soon or necessarily at all, so it feels like it really could all be a big waste of time/money if I don't get a good result. I'm not sure I'd want to spend too much more time or energy on it.

How much are you planning to hibernate over the next two weeks? I completely resent that I'm 'having' to do this so trying to get on with life as much as I can and have plans and not think about it very much, but can't tell if I might regret that!

@Rosiestraws best of luck with your egg collection this weekend!

Hi @iyzzz I know your main post was addressed to OP but I can't sleep (not really nerves, just having to be up early!) so thought I'd reply to a couple of your points...

I'm surprised your first set of stims is 6.45am..usually the stims like menopur (god yes hated breaking the vial but it was fine every time ha!) and gonal f etc are in the evening between 6-9pm and then after a few days of those they add in fyremandel or cetrotide etc in the morning between 6-9am. Perhaps you're doing a different protocol but maybe just double check your notes etc?

Re someone taking you home, they're meant to actually stay with you for 24 hrs in case you have any reactions or side effects. I think some places let you sign something to say you're absolving them of any liability if you go home without someone etc tho so should be fine.

Re sedation. I was totally knocked out most of the times...at least in the sense of falling asleep in theatre and waking up after the op but having said that I do remember hearing/seeing others through a gap in the curtains in my first clinic and they were clearly out of it but responding etc! I think ultimately you won't remember if you say anything embarrassing and they would be used to it too so don't worry about that!

And as for it not working...well I had the worst experience in my first clinic where I went into egg collection with 4 follicles (I have severely dimished ovarian reserve so that was great for me!) and then they got no eggs! But I think personally that was due to various errors made by the clinic and that is no way the norm. The other cycles I've had since have been successful. None of us have any idea if the eggs will be any good until you come to use them (IF we even do, might happen naturally in due course) so I guess you just can't worry about that for now. I tried to frame things in my head as how fortunate I was to be in a position to even have this option open to me as many women wouldn't. All I was doing was the best decision I could do to help my chances of children in the future and I'd only regret not doing it, never would regret trying. So I'd recommend trying to stay positive and think like that!

Good luck ladies.

Well pride comes before a fall! I just did the first injection and I would say couldn't have got it much more wrong - smashed a vial, managed to make my finger bleed and then was so flustered by that/pleased to have finally got all the solution into the syringe that I forgot to tap out the air bubble before injecting. I like to think I'm a reasonably intelligent person and I was really paying attention to the instructions yesterday and watched the youtube video twice, but I couldn't really have got it more wrong! Luckily I think neither of those things are too bad - my dr said to me don't worry if you smash one, they'd just give me another this week and that skin might go a bit crackly if I inject air but not to start panicking about air embolisms or anything as you're injecting into fat (so clearly both are something people do if they pre-empt the questions!). Hopefully was beginners chaos and tomorrow I'll be smoother...

Thanks for your reply @Rosiestraws - yes I was surprised it's morning too but they said any time I like (and have double checked the email given my woeful failure to follow instructions described above) and in fact she's suggested morning to ensure it was same time. I'm quite pleased really as means I can then get up and on with my day/ no stress about anything interfering with getting home for it! And thank you for your helpful reply re sedation - it's such a silly worry really so I appreciate you reassuring me on it!

That's a good mindset to have - yes, that's mostly where I come out too that I want to know I'm doing all that I can and it's a very fortunate position to be in to even be able to make the choice. I suppose the issue for me is that doing this comes at the expense of other things (both financially and from a time/life enjoyment perspective) when motherhood is something I don't know that I want and I'm slightly worried it's opening a pandora's box in some ways. But tbh I think this isn't a worry for now anyway (as if it all goes well will be a wasted worry) - my consultant said you let me worry about that.

Wishing you lots of luck today! @Okigen let me know how you get on (hopefully better than me!)

@iyzzz Ooops sorry somehow I didn't receive any notification from mumsnet so thought this thread drifted off to oblivion. How are you getting on with the meds? I hope the following injections went smoothly, oops! I will start my first injection today in the evening. I have asked a friend who did egg freezing before to observe me doing it. I was a bit reluctant about it, as I may get really nervous in front of other people. But it's better to make sure I'm doing correctly isn't it?
I'm a bit like you, at this stage I'm not sure I'll want to be married let alone having children. You would say at 34 I should know. But I've always been a late bloomer, I always feel my mental age is at least 10 years younger than my peers, so who knows. I think if I don't use the eggs in the future I will donate them.

@Rosiestraws Sorry I've just read your other thread. What a difficult situation to be in. Not sure what to say but just want to send you the best of luck with anything you decide to do !

@Okigen Good luck with the injections! Hope they go ok. I'm on day 6 (so day 5 of doing myself) and it's quickly become very routine. They aren't remotely painful for me. The only slightly tricky part I find is the cracking the vial and the mixing (I think I've got the hang of it now but always worried about breaking them after my catastrophic first day!) so as you don't have to do that I think you'll be absolutely fine. I think having a friend with you is a good idea - the first time I did them I would have benefitted from someone verifying every step. I'm not feeling any side effects so far - have a scan today to see how it's going and then egg collection will be some time next week.

Interesting that you're in the same position - I find it a bit hard to be putting myself through this when I don't know what I want (not so much physically as just the sheer effort and expense of it all). But at least we are taking a bit of control and hopefully preserving options! I wonder if in 10 years this will just be a totally routine thing.

@iyzzz how did your scan go today? I've just had the first baseline scan. To be honest it was very long appointment (due to delay) and very overwhelming. It looks like I have 10 follicles. Not great but I think it's normal for my age. I just pray they will all grow into healthy mature eggs, but have been warned by the nurse that things can be very unpredictable.

I think this is the first time I understand about female fertility. So much pain and anxiety (at a great cost too). In my next life I would like to be a man.

Hey @Okigen - sorry for delayed reply and hope it's all going ok for you?

My egg collection is tomorrow - I won't go into the numbers (I feel like people have different personal targets so probably not helpful) but I'm a bit disappointed as a lot of the follicles have dropped off. I'm now at half the number I saw on my original scan - which I knew might happen but obviously got my hopes up. The number of eggs I will end up with will not give me sufficient peace of mind of a live birth, so I'll have to do it again or really I feel like it will all have been for nothing.

Actually the process has been totally fine for me - I've felt very minimal side effects and found the appointments etc. v manageable alongside work. But the financial aspect of doing it again is a bit of a drag! I guess I'm very fortunate to have the option.

@iyzzz Best of luck tomorrow!! Please let me know how you get on! Do you plan to go home on your own?

Mine is booked on Tuesday. I'm on a similar boat, only half of my starting follicles are now at the good size :( I was really disappointed, especially as the first few days were very promising. But I heard from other posters here that the first time is a gamble because they don't know how you will react to the meds, so next time will be much better 🤞

Updated - I've just done the trigger injection. I was annoyed with myself about not getting 2 doses, in case one of them would break for any random reason, but touch luck all is fine. Now anxiously waiting for the big day! 😬

@iyzzz I hope your day has gone well.
Please keep us posted x

good luck to you both! hope you get some eggs.. and remember, it only takes one (or, ok...two maybe if you want two babies etc...!)

@Rosiestraws Thank you! I haven't heard from you for a while. Have you decided whether or not to continue with egg freezing yet? (Sending lots of support from here for whatever you choose!)

Good news - procedure was completely fine, no pain, collected many more eggs than I hoped for.

Bad news - they discovered a polyp during the procedure. The doctor said I need laparoscopy and will write a letter, meanwhile I spent the whole afternoon scrambling through my insurance papers to see how to arrange it. I try to tell myself that most of them aren't cancerous, but that doesn't prevent me from freaking out! 😰

@Okigen Great news about the procedure and the number of eggs! Sorry to hear about the polyp. I can see that must be really worrying. Hopefully you can get it checked out asap and get the all clear.

It's not great news my end- collected half the eggs we were expecting so a really unexpected and disappointing result. To be honest I'm left feeling like it's all been a waste of time and money. And no clear answers as to why either as there were lots of follicles. So taking some time to assess whether I'd want to do it again. Still feeling pretty sore and bloated a few days later (more so than I expected) which adds insult to injury. Anyway, it's a relief for it all to be over for now!

@iyzzz I'm so sorry to hear your procedure didn't go well! I heard the first one can be a gamble as noone knows how your body would react. Is a follow up consultation included in your package, if yes maybe it's worth doing it? I'm not sure how this was done at your clinic, but at mine consultants work in shifts, so the one operating on me is not the one who monitored my case throughout. If that is the case with yours I think it's worth having a follow-up as the operating consultant on the day may not know your case in as much detail as your consultant.

You are right about the cost. I've done a calculation and the damage per cycle is nearly £6k! But for me it may be a blessing in disguise, as otherwise I may not have known about the polyp. Apparently it's quite large. I have never had a smear before, that's probably why noone knew about it. What an idiot I was!

I just wanted to reassure anyone going through this as I'm a very whimpy and anxious person myself.
I've just had my egg collection today at Kings Hospital, I was incredibly nervous beforehand.
I was under deep sedation and was out like a light!!!! No pain, no awareness!!
Just remember telling the staff 'are you sure it's done'?
If I can do it anyone can.
Just think how far you've come to get to this point.
Good luck for anyone going through this, honestly, you got this!!

I'm very surprised this thread is still active!

Just to give everyone an update, I managed to do 3 cycles smoothly. The first one felt terrifying, but the reality is the self-injections were no worse than an ant's bite if you ever had one. I found that if you hold deep breath to inflate your belly, the needles will come in much easier and it's pretty much painless. The sedation itself was also great, just like a normal blood test and then I fell asleep 30 seconds later.

The only thing I regret was doing the second and last cycles back-to-back. I heard many people did this with no issue, but in my case it seems my body became too tired and so all side effects started to show up - most notably the terrible mood swings which I'm still coping until now. That said, I'm naturally a big worrier anyway and I'm sure someone with a more normal brain will have cope much better!