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Infertility

Our Infertility Support forum is a space to connect with others in the same position, discuss causes, treatment and IVF, and share infertility stories of hope and success.

Reaching out

3 replies

Everhopeful41 · 23/11/2022 22:31

Hi everyone, I’m feeling really low. I’m 43 and had my fifth egg collection today. The egg numbers weren’t great, only 3 and we’re waiting for the call tomorrow re: fertilization rate. I’ve had so much to deal with in addition to infertility over the last few years and I pretty much feel on my knees with it all. I always just keep going and just smile and get through it but I’m struggling to see a happy ending here. I’ve considered donor eggs… and I haven’t ruled this out but things have also been hard with my partner over the last few years and I just don’t know what to do anymore… we’ve been talking about getting engaged but I don’t feel like my heart is in anything anymore. Maybe I am depressed. I have considered just leaving and working abroad and as much as this would be exciting, it would also be a defense mechanism to just up and leave. But my problems will just follow me. If this round doesn’t work then I don’t know whether to give up or pay for more. I paid for this round and pga testing if we get blasts myself. So financially it’s a lot for just one person. I feel resentful of this too. I’m not sure what the point of my post is. I just feel so alone. Even my close friends aren’t sharing this particular cycle with me. I’ve tried to talk to two about it briefly but they just changed the subject. My mother doesn’t live close by and we don’t have that sort of relationship. Maybe motherhood just isn’t supposed to be for me. My heart feels broken inside.

OP posts:
BabyOnBoard90 · 24/11/2022 00:15

Very sorry for the heartbreak and pain that you're having to endure.

I wish you strength, courage and the best of luck.

While there's a possibility things may not go as you hope, do keep in mind that you have a great deal of value that doesn't require childbearing to validate it.

Best of Luck

Everhopeful41 · 30/11/2022 22:27

Thank you baby on board. We got a day 5 4BB Which has been biopsied and frozen. The other egg that fertilized grew to a blastocyst but wasn’t of good quality so it wasn’t frozen. Not bad from 2/3 that fertilized normally: we’ll probably do two more cycles but I really hope we get a PGA normal one. Difficult at 43. Thanks again for your support.

OP posts:
Jadviga · 01/12/2022 00:22

Hey ! Sorry to hear things are tough right now. IVF is so hard, and only gets harder the more cycles you do, the older you get and the more in debt you are ! It really sucks, so I think you can allow yourself to feel bad and tired and just not in it for a moment here. It's very legitimate to feel this way and you don't have a duty to be smiling and upbeat all the time.

That embryo that wasn't good enough to freeze, it wouldn't have been possible to transfer it inside you just in case ? Rather than let it go to waste ? I mean, obviously it's too late now either way but I'm asking in case that's something you might consider for next cycle. Although my doctor told me that when an embryo isn't good enough to freeze it usually doesn't stand a great chance to give a bfp.

Are you doing a three-cycle banking package then ? Since you mentioned you'd probably do a couple more cycles.

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