Hi everyone, I’m feeling really low. I’m 43 and had my fifth egg collection today. The egg numbers weren’t great, only 3 and we’re waiting for the call tomorrow re: fertilization rate. I’ve had so much to deal with in addition to infertility over the last few years and I pretty much feel on my knees with it all. I always just keep going and just smile and get through it but I’m struggling to see a happy ending here. I’ve considered donor eggs… and I haven’t ruled this out but things have also been hard with my partner over the last few years and I just don’t know what to do anymore… we’ve been talking about getting engaged but I don’t feel like my heart is in anything anymore. Maybe I am depressed. I have considered just leaving and working abroad and as much as this would be exciting, it would also be a defense mechanism to just up and leave. But my problems will just follow me. If this round doesn’t work then I don’t know whether to give up or pay for more. I paid for this round and pga testing if we get blasts myself. So financially it’s a lot for just one person. I feel resentful of this too. I’m not sure what the point of my post is. I just feel so alone. Even my close friends aren’t sharing this particular cycle with me. I’ve tried to talk to two about it briefly but they just changed the subject. My mother doesn’t live close by and we don’t have that sort of relationship. Maybe motherhood just isn’t supposed to be for me. My heart feels broken inside.