Going it alone!

[BlueSilver23]

Hello everyone

I was active on here last year in the egg collection threads after I did a couple of rounds and then took at little break as we all understand how IVF can take over your life a bit!

However I’m now looking at going for it and considering creating embryos and transferring in the near future (providing I’m lucky enough to get viable embryos from my frozen eggs that is!). The big part of this is that I would be doing it alone if successful, which I am happy enough with but it does feel daunting. So I was wondering if there are any others out there that have done this or who are thinking of doing the same?

Just looking for some advice on first steps (sperm banks, types of transfer/IVF, do I only fertilise some of the eggs and leave some or fertilise all of them all at once for best chances etc etc) and support and I suppose some reassurance that I’m not completely mad for going it alone! I also found the whole egg freezing process quite hard when dealing with all the drugs and side effects and would love to hear how people minimised this when transferring embryos after freezing eggs/embryos. Is there a ‘natural’ way of doing this?

Anyone else out there in the same boat or who has any advice? 🥰

They're are crazier things in this world, so can't consider you mad.

Of course this is much further down the line, but my advice would be to ensure you have a solid and supportive network.

Hi @BlueSilver23

I have done it by myself. I started my journey in December last year as in tests etc had my collection in April and FET in July this was best for my health.
I got donor sperm from cryosinternational.com you can create an account and look through see if any donors meet your criteria. I was given 5 different websites to look at and I found this the easiest to use and had the most to choose from.
I did a mild form of IVF I have pcos and struggled alot with Fertility etc and that was best option for me. I did go online and sit watching forums for different clinics to see the difference and price ranges etc.
Personally I had my eggs turned into embryos all at the same time which I preferred I knew I would have to have a FET but it made the most sense otherwise you would have to keep buying sperm. Also once your eggs are collected they will be frozen and you dont want to keep thawing them as it will reduce your chances. When my eggs were collected they advise you to have sperm already on site so they can be turned into embryos and then frozen.
I am currently pregnant I was very lucky with it working, I do have another 2 embryos in the freezer so to speak for when I'm ready for another try.
I am doing it as a single mum but I did speak to my parents about it first and they were very supportive of it. I waited to tell my siblings about 2 weeks before egg collection just so I wasn't thinking about anything else. I decided not to tell anyone else as I didn't want all the questions you get with people knowing your doing IVF I just wanted it to be zen like and if it worked it worked I didn't want the added stress of being asked where upto whats happening are you pregnant etc. Sounds awful but as you say it can take over your life. 5 people knew what I was doing and when I was in for collections and transfers the only thing I did was add a couple of days on to when I would find out if it worked as I knew my siblings were eager to know. My parents knew the correct day we would find out and then it was a surprise for my siblings. I did it another reason incase it didn't work it gave me a couple days to get my head in better place.
I hope this helps and if you want someone to chat to. I'm around :) good luck

@BabyOnBoard90 Thank you! My family think I’m a bit nuts as I just turned mid thirties so they think I have ‘more time’ to wait for a partner or that having children may scare off future ones but I think I’ve just reached the point where it feels right to do it now. And I don’t like the idea of any potential children being at the whim of whether a man comes along. Not to mention the change in fertility that comes at this age. I just don’t feel like ‘waiting’ any longer and my instinct is telling me to do it now (or my biological clock is!).

I do know it will be difficult not having that back up of a second salary and taking maternity leave and working out child care etc if I am lucky enough to be successful but if I think you can always find reasons not to have a child at whatever point in life. There is never really a right time I suppose.

@ParkerH1 Congratulations on your pregnancy! I hope it all goes smoothly for you.

Thank you very much for your advice, it’s much appreciated. I didn’t tell anyone other than my mother that I was freezing my eggs. I froze eggs as at that time it was just to preserve eggs rather have a child. I think I have enough eggs banked but have been considering having another round and then making embryos from those and leaving the frozen eggs as they are for back up because as you say thawing is not something you want to keep doing. But then that means another round of IVF which I really didn’t want to do. There is never an easy choice in IVF is there?

May I ask what the mild form of IVF entailed? I had two fully medicated rounds to get as many eggs as possible as it was for freezing and I didn’t have PCOS. I just had the standard does of meds as this seemed to do the trick. My AMH was also a little on the low side for my age (but still just within normal ranges) but that was a year ago so I don’t know what it may have dropped to now. I’d love not to have to put myself through a fully medicated round again.

Thank you you very much for the offer of a chat, it does sometimes feel a little lonely with IVF as most people seem to be in couples. But very happy to hear that there are some of us out there and that you have been successful with your little one!

Anytime at all for a chat and yes it can feel lonely doing it alone but I have no doubt in my mind that it is and will be worth it.
Im mid thirties too and all will be ok. Well I did my ivf with abc ivf and they do a mild ivf but they specialise in pcos and the problems I have. They don't just have pcos patients though and it's not as severe on drugs and they do it more in stages so it is healthier and not as severe. Maybe worth looking into. They have numerous branches but I do recommend that you get everything in writing from the start as can be miscommunication alot and hidden costs.

@ParkerH1 Many thanks for the advice, I will look into it.

Hi @BlueSilver23 have you looked in any more to the process since. I am in similar position also, have some frozen eggs and 1 frozen embroyo.