IVF #1: All embryos tested abnormal - now what?

[Presently83]

Hi everyone,

Bit of a sad one here so just looking for words of hope, I guess.

I've had three miscarriages in the past year, so we decided to do IVF in order to test embryo quality. I'm 39 and recent tests show my AMH has dropped to 6.5 and my AFC is only 5.

I cycled with ARGC and actually got 14 eggs, 8 mature and fertilised, 3 blastocysts biopsied for PGT A testing. So far so OK.

I got the call last night that they all have abnormalities. All different trisomies, so I don't think it's a genetic issue, just shit old eggs. But I'm completely devastated. This year has broken me, and now this. My partner has a son so we had no NHS funding, and this round cost us around £15k. I don't know if there is even any point of continuing now, as clearly all my eggs are revolting.

I'm utterly broken by this and just feel like giving up entirely. I hate myself. I'm disgusted by my body and its inability to work properly. I feel sick when I look in the mirror. I have cut myself off from most of my friends and my career is crumbling because of this horrible year, and I can't see a way of clawing myself out of this hole.

@LAURAPAX oh bless you ❤️ the MCs are just so so difficult 💔 I can totally understand your headspace right now, but your numbers are still definitely good enough to get success with IVF so definitely stay positive 🙏🏼🙏🏼 I really think you’ve got a great chance!

yes, this is the first DE transfer I’ve had. I couldn’t believe it was a BFP, just praying hard that it continues 🙏🏼🙏🏼
I was always aware that DE might be my only option (OH and I didn’t meet until I was 38 and started TTC just before my 40th). We had to give OE a go and really hoped it might work - we got 3 embryos over 3 ECs so really thought we had a chance but none were viable. When it actually came to DE as an option I took longer than I thought I would to actually come to terms with it but now it’s not something that concerns me at all ❤️

Thanks @Kelb79 i really appreciate your message and hope you are right too. I know you have been here so appreciate your words. I’m suffering in the worry and ‘what ifs’ at the moment and it’s all consuming.

so great to hear things have gone so well with DE and your BFP. I am definitely open to considering DE in the future, like you, need to see how things go first with my OE. I just didn’t think TTC at 36 was a worry time wise. Two miscarriages down and starting ivf I have had a very hard lesson. The thing that I find worse for me is I have been with my partner for 9 years now there was no need to wait so long, we were just living life and working hard and having fun and I just thought it would happen for us without issue as I just 36 when we started. All of friends this age no issues I’ve got babies popping out left, right and centre but clearly not for me and it hurts so much. Xxx