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Infertility

Our Infertility Support forum is a space to connect with others in the same position, discuss causes, treatment and IVF, and share infertility stories of hope and success.

Need IVF but unsure to use a sperm donor

2 replies

poppyedy · 14/10/2022 12:33

I have one child at nearly 16 and I have wanted another child for the last 10 years, but it has never been right as I needed IVF and wanted to be in a secure family unit as I was a single parent for a long time with my daughter

So, my husband has a number of children only one who he sees that doesn't like me at 15 and she falls out with my daughter which causes problems, but I have to bite my tongue and let her still come to our home making me and my daughter feel uncomfortable

My husband has a low sperm count and takes steroids which he will not stop and just been told after a year of waiting for results and tests to be done that unless he comes off steroids, we cannot go through IVF using his sperm, he will not do this, so I am left that if I want a child, I need to use a sperm donor

I do not think he wants a child with me, and he only seems to be bothered about his family and his daughter, even though he calls my daughter his but it's still not the same

We have not been great for a while as he is very selfish and only cares about himself, says he wants to do everything for his daughter but doesn't

He says he wants a child with me, but I am not convinced, I am left in limbo now thinking it will always hold over me he cannot give me what i want to make me happy, even a sperm donor he will throw it in my face the child is not his as he is like that, I do not know whether to leave or stay in a situation where I am still not happy

Has anyone been in a similar situation

OP posts:
Scirocco · 14/10/2022 13:13

Is he taking the steroids for any medical reason, or are they for his gym appearance/ recreational use?

Honestly, he sounds like a bit of a knob and not someone to rush into parenthood with.

A stable and loving family can look however you choose to create it; if that's you and your child/children, that's just as valid as any other family.

If he's not willing to give up a harmful recreational drug habit for the sake of having a family, LTB and build your own family on your terms.

poppyedy · 19/10/2022 08:43

He has been on them for years and doesn't want to stop as he is not a small fella

We have a daughter each so are already a family but I have wanted another child for the last 12 years but it was just never right and been with my husband 7 years but only lived together for 2

OP posts:
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