The best clinic for 45 year old

[chloe1977]

Hi All
I have only just joined mums net, I live in kent and have already been waiting 6 months just due to tests etc, The doctors have said I qualify for IVF via NHS, this is my first attempt and my OH is 34. We have been trying but nothing is happening, I am 45 female and i am aware my age is a massive factor. We are prepared to go private as we have already been waiting for tests etc and we were told I can qualify for funded treatment but then to be told by Darent Valley hospital, I am to old for treatment in kent! However my doctors have referred me to medway martime hopital (in Kent) for treatment which makes no sense at all!
I am feeling really deflated and want to try for the best chances as time is no longer on my side. Does anyone know of a high success rate clinic for 45 year olds. Also using my own eggs as one clinic in Canterbury said even if we pay privately they will not use my eggs due to age . I live in kent and my OH wants to keep it local however i think we will have to travel for this, does anyone have any advice or help on this as i am feeling pretty low with it all. Thanks

It would be worth considering using an egg donor.
The information from the HEFA for 2019 (treatment was suspended for a long time due to the pandemic) say that for a 45 year old using their own eggs, the success rate is less than 5%, although I do understand you wanting to use your own eggs. I hope you manage to find a clinic and wish you success on your fertility journey

In 2019, birth rates for patients under 35 were 32% per embryo transferred, compared to below 5% for patients aged 43+ when using their own eggs
www.hfea.gov.uk/about-us/publications/research-and-data/fertility-treatment-2019-trends-and-figures/

I second pp advice (I'm not sure whether this has already been suggested to you by your clinic?)

No clinic (NHS or private) can improve the egg quality, and the stats are unfortunately not very promising for your age group.

I'm surprised you've been given NHS approval at age 45 OP I would definitely double triple check that. Most clinics won't treat women with their own eggs over age 43 - sorry to be blunt but the success rates are woeful - not much better than trying naturally

I am also really surprised as the NHS website states the cutoff for funded IVF to be 42. Maybe there's a different programme that your doctor knows about?

I am 46 and my private fertility doctor was very straightforward in agreeing with me that own eggs would be a complete waste of time for me. Not to mention the waste of money. And I have two children already with zero other fertility factors apart from my age, so I have excellent chances using donor conception.

Remember that he would make a LOT of money out of me if he had told me to go ahead and try with my own eggs, too. So I trust him that he's telling me the truth here.

Agree with others - NHS funding at 45 would be highly unusual. I suspect the info you have been given is incorrect as success rate at this age is less than 1%. Whilst hard, your best chance would be using an egg donor and getting started ASAP. If I was in your position I wouldn't waste time trying to do cycles with your own eggs - they are highly unlikely to work and you will just be running down the clock. I am sorry, it must be such a hard situation to be in. In terms of practicalities a local clinic is helpful as you have quite a number of scans at short intervals, unless time off from your job is easy. Good luck.

Were you interested to find out your ovarian reserve, or did you do a blood amh? I understand why you wouldn't spend the money on the first step, if you were already going to move forward with not using your own egg.

OP, I'm another voice telling you to seriously consider donor eggs. (And I say that as the parent of a child conceived using donor eggs, so I've been through thinking about this in lots and lots of detail).

I agree with other posters that I can't see how you would get NHS funding. I also concur that success rates with own eggs at age 45 are infinitesimally small. I can absolutely understand the desire to try, but I'm guessing that you've been TTC already so actually, you have tried.

I know, from personal experience, how donor eggs can initially feel like a step too far. And they may always feel that way to you, and that's okay. But I'd really encourage you to start thinking about the idea, and consider whether it might be for you. What convinced me, ultimately, was reading parents of donor conceived children explain that no, it wasn't a negative at all to them, because their donor-conceived child was so amazing; and the idea of swapping them for some other, biologically-related child was just weird to them. And that's also how I feel now. I love this child, this stubborn, cuddly, wonderful little person, and he wouldn't have been here had it not been for donor treatment.

The chances of IVF working with your own eggs are the same as rolling the dice naturally, and as you've seen, it hasn't worked. On top of that, your eggs will have a 99% chance of being abnormal - the likely story is that you go through the difficult retrieval process 1-3 times and don't get anything useful to transplant (or you transplant, and it's either aneuploid or just doesn't implant or progress). I'm sorry, I know it's really upsetting to realise that our age is like an enormous stop sign, when we certainly don't feel elderly :(

@b0zza1 I wasn't too curious about my own levels, I know they were good two years ago but as my doctor said that's like a century when it comes to fertility as we age. During my uterine scan one ovary had no visible follicles and was rather small, and the other had 1-2 tiny follicles but no lead, that is, I hadn't ovulated that month. And that's while my periods are pretty regular. I was temp checking at 44yo and could see that even then I wasn't ovulating every month.

When I was thinking about whether donor conception was right for me, someone asked me: If I just handed you a newborn right now, would you want it? And my overwhelming reaction was yes, yes I would. And that's how I personally knew that I did want to go ahead and pursue donor conception, because I have come to accept that I will sill want any child that I manage to carry, and love it regardless.

@chloe1977

I am 45 years old in December. I had my little boy in September. He is from a 3 day frozen embryo collected last year after I turned 43 years old. I used Create Fertility who specialise in mild rounds where you are not going for quantity but quality. My previous IVF clinic where we did 6 rounds frowned at this approach but we knew we needed to try something different. Statistically I knew from earlier IVF rounds that 1 in 3 of my embryos were any good. I did a 3 cycle package at Create which resulted in the 1 frozen embryo which gave me my little boy. We feel the aftercare was key. My progesterone levels were checked when I got the positive result and it showed my levels had dropped since transfer. I truly believe managing my medication and levels after the positive result is what sustained my pregnancy. I am gay. We used donor sperm. I didn't feel comfortable using donor eggs as well as donor sperm. It was a long fertility journey-8 years, 9 IVFs, 2 FETs, 3 miscarriages. I had no known fertility issues but alot of bad luck!

Try the Lister in London they have experience with older patients

Op, check this forum, there are many cases for getting pregnant after 40, some of them 45+ with their own eggs.
https://community.babycenter.com/groups/a2632635/over_40_and_pregnant?page=19
Good luck.