Unexplained fertility and how do you know when to do IVF?

[Halsie]

Hello all

I am really struggling with the decisions ahead.

We are unexplained infertility. Two first trimester miscarriages with no reason why, being investigated in that first.

I feel my age is making me anxious and every year that passes in TTC hits me harder than the last (I'm 34) and should we just go to IVF? I'm struggling to see how IVF will really do anything different. I know we can do the PSG testing and that would perhaps reduce chance of miscarriage. I guess I'm really struggling with the unexplained diagnosis.

I know we could just keep trying but I don't know if I can keep going with it. And I don't even know if I'm mentally strong enough for IVF.

Any advice would be appreciated and thankyou for reading.

Hi Halsie, I'm sorry to hear about your miscarriages. How long did it take for you to get pregnant each time? We were trying for 2 years before IVF without even a sniff of a positive. Plus I had endometriosis and partner has low motility.

Thankyou for your message @sadeyedlady2

First conception was on cycle 21 or 2 (i lost count lol). Miscarried that one at 12 weeks. Then after that tried again for another 6 months and then conceived, miscarried at 7 weeks.
Everyone says to me those two were conceived quickly together which I do acknowledge 2x inside six months is good odds. But the bigger picture is its twice in 2.5years (and a lot of DTD lol) despite the fact that "there's nothing wrong" (as all our tests come out normal).

And really will IVF give us any better odds. Surely we should have something to address before trying IVF? All I know is I can't keep trying for months and then failing when it does happen. Im also just tired of trying for another six months and then "let's reassess". Believe me I know people do this for much much longer and I am in awe of those people but the month to month continuity of this is really taking a toll on me and I don't think my mental health could stretch to another 3,5 or maybe 7 years.

How are you getting on in your fertility journey? Do you mind if I ask how the IVF went?

Yes, I can see both sides of that for you. Twice in six months is quite good, but 21 cycles for the first one is a long wait. Are you having investigations for the miscarriages?
The only thing I would say is that the processes for IVF can take a while so it might be no harm to schedule an appointment and talk to someone and of course you can keep trying in the meantime. Your chances of success are obviously much higher the younger you are too.
We were incredibly lucky to be successful with our first round of IVF. Unfortunately we've not been as lucky trying for a second. I've just started cycle no 5. I've had two ectopics, one of which resulted in a rupture and the loss of both tubes.

Hi @Halsie we are just about to start ivf, we have been ttc probably 7-8 years but we weren’t ttc seriously for the first few years (weren’t preventing but also weren’t tracking). We’ve never had a positive test so slightly different to you. I was referred to the fertility clinic and went to see them in 2020 where they discovered a polyp (which may or may not have affected things, they don’t know how long I had it for) we were diagnosed as unexplained. I was concerned that it was the polyp and we hadn’t given it enough of a chance after removal so delayed ivf to continue track naturally and decided after a further 6 months to go ahead.

It might be worth speaking to a clinic about the process. Our clinic said we could postpone 6 months and remain effectively at the top of the waiting list and just call them up, but after that we would have to be referred by the gp again.

The whole process took 18 months from referral to the first point we could have done ivf (with covid delays and polyp removal) so it might be worth going for the referral because you might be ready by the time you get to the top of the list and if not you may be able to delay it.

Im 35, I went to gp at 32 and I know what you mean about not sure if you are ready, I’ve got my medicine on the side and I’m not sure if I’m ready! 🤣 but I think it’s only natural to worry about it, it is an invasive medical procedure and if you aren’t worried, that would probably be a bit concerning too, there are all the emotions as well as the medical side of it.

Thankyou both for your replies. @sadeyedlady2 I am happy to hear your first round worked but so sorry about of your difficulties since. I can only imagine how upsetting that must have been and all the medical care that goes along with it.

@NorthernDuckling that is good advice. Maybe we will just get on the list and continue to decide. I really hope this goes to plan for you!!

Wishing you both lots of love and luck as you try to grow your families