TTC 2 years... any advice out there?

[Annelizabeth15]

I am 31 and my husband is 37 we have been married for 7 years, back in September 2020 we decided it was time to try for a baby, fast forward 2 years and we have just had our first fertility specialist appointment,
My husbands sperm sample has come back with no concerns, my day 21 blood test indicated I had ovulated.
I am now waiting for cycle day 2 blood test and then a Fluoroscopy later this month.
The specialist we saw said we could look into private IVF already and then would receive NHS funded IVF this time next year... we both agree to wait for my test results and next appointment in 3 months to decide what our plan is going forward.

I take folic acid 400, Vitamind D and Zita west Vital DHA pre conception supplement. 2 months ago I started taking Agnus Cactus 400mg twice a day for the first half of my cycle ( to try and reduce PMS symptoms)
I have tracked on precious cycles with clear blue ovulation and had positive predictions for ovulation, I had acupuncture for 3 months but the cost was so much I've had to take a break. We have done months dedicated "baby dancing" and cycles of relaxed what will be will be "not trying" months.

Everyone I know has become pregnant in the past 2 years, and I'm beginning to experience sympathy glances and reassurance that I just need to relax! Work got so much for me with all the pregnancy announcements that I had to have a chat with my boss about everything.

I've read other peoples threads before but today thought I would just start my own incase anyone has any other nuggets of wisdom or advice out there.
I can't believe this is really happening and that I've become the woman who can't conceive, I used to dream of seeing my babies face but now I just can't imagine myself ever being pregnant.

Welcome to the worst club on the planet :( it really is rubbish, nobody expects to be infertile and the reality of it is all encompassing, especially when the whole world seems able to achieve this so easily.

It sounds like you're doing all the right things, did you have an ultrasound already? And by fluoroscopy do you mean a HSG? Until all the results are back it's difficult to know what the next step options will be, but just to prepare you, a lot of people get told their situation is "unexplained" and to move forward to IVF.

Thanks @Gardenlady543 for your reply... I was beginning to wonder if anyone else had seen this post!
You're totally right, I honestly sit and ponder how everyone around me has fallen pregnant so easily, I keep thinking we must be doing something wrong. It's also a very strange feeling as nothing has changed as such so it feels hard to validate while I feel so sad, I feel it's a future lost and it's also hard to try and be positive when I'm not sure what is going to happen next.

Yes I think it must be an HSG. I have to have it between day 10-22 of cycle, and we have been told we can't try this month because of this procedure. I'm now waiting for AF to arrive as I have to have bloods on day 2 of my cycle, to check my egg reserve i think? I'm nervous about getting the bloods on the right day as i get a bit confused when is my period day 1 as I usually have very light spotting before it properly starts.

I'm prepared for the un explained infertility. Feeling like I kind of hope that's the result I get, as the specialist said if my fallopian tubes are blocked they would be removed, which shocked me.

My husbands cousins wife had 2 rounds of IVF and has just fallen pregnant naturally. So happy for them but don't want it to get my Hope's up at the same time.

Just a bit lost really.

So the blood test for egg reserve is AMH, but it's just used as a general marker really.
A better marker is the AFC, this is where they count the follicles on each of your ovaries during a ultrasound scan, it varies month to month but will indicate how many eggs you may be able to obtain in IVF.

When you have the bloods at the start of the cycle they will also test for hormones like LH and FSH. You should ask them to test for all of the following: LH, FSH, TFT's, testosterone, DHEA, sex hormone binding globulin, PRL. This can be done on day 2 to day 4. Day 1 is when you get full flow, everyone has a different opinion on when the day ends, some people say full flow before 12pm, others say before 5pm.

The HSG is going to show if there are structural abnormalities that don't show up on a ultrasound and will also show if your tubes are open.

I started IVF in November 2020, I had been trying for a year and didn't get a single positive test, I was quite happy to be moving to something that has a very high chance of working, but unfortunately to date it hasn't worked for me.

@Gardenlady543 I can't begin to imagine how it feels when IVF has not worked, were you told you had unexplained infertility?

I had some blood tests about 6 months ago when I first went to the doctors, I think they did testosterone and progesterone and I had some more done on my appointment last week. It's all so confusing. I'm still waiting for period and the day 2 blood test. Its stressing me out as I dont want to get it on the wrong day and mess up my results.

Are you having any further treatment?
Thanks for all your help.

@Annelizabeth15 so the progesterone is usually done around day 21 to check if you have ovulated. You don't need to worry too much about the timing of the early cycle ones, as long as it falls day 2-4.

So I was originally deemed unexplained but I've now had every test possible. Because in the vast majority of cases IVF works if embryos can be produced. The tests I've had tend not to be done unless several transfers have failed. Issues they've found in me are: low amounts of good bacteria in the uterus, thin lining, 2 small fibroids (I had surgery a week ago to remove them), an overactive immune system and a underactive thyroid (this happened after I started IVF). I'll be having my 5th transfer in November/December.

@Gardenlady543 the bloods they have requested are Oestradiol E2, LH, and FSH.
it says day 2 highlighted, I'm currently day 28, last month through me off as my AF arrived with no warning on day 24!! Usually I'm 28-30 days on average. Had a few 31-32s I'm just never sure which counts as day 1 as I usually start extremely lightly, sometimes brownish smudges here and there for a day. Sorry I'm aware this is TMI!! I've got a trip to London on Tuesday and then away for the night weds which is stressing me out. Does it have to be day 2?!

So the IVF impacted your thyroid function? You have so much knowledge and I'm aware you've had to gain it in such unfortunate circumstances, it seems so unfair, with the findings you have mentioned such as thin lining and low good bacteria it's hard to understand why they would stop IVF from working.

Hi, I am sorry to read your story. Myself I know ladies with 7 th time success with IVF. So, stay positive and do not give up, infertility is treated perfectly well nowadays.

Hi, just seen this thread. Not sure if this will help we are a both a bit older but have been trying a similar length of time and similar pattern….some months have been highly monitored and others tried to take the pressure off. I’ve used the clear blue ovulation trackers as well as my cycles are all over the place.

I had a few years of not having periods after coming off the pill but as wasn’t trying at that time GP put me back on the pill without investigating. Fast forward to when we started planning and I came off the pill. Again my periods didn’t come back and I think maybe knowledge/ awareness of loss of periods has developed and was recommended to cut back on exercise and gain a bit of weight. My periods finally came back but are still really irregular (this has taken us to nearly 3 years). I am ovulating but my luteal phase is very short.

We have now been referred on NHS for IVF but it took maybe 6 -9 months before the referral was made because of all the tests needed (this was after the above). I think it depends on your area on how the referrals work. I had around 6 blood tests to cover the various cycle stages and then to retest to confirm. For the day 2 tests because of irregular cycles I was told between day 2-7. I had it repeated twice to confirm because of the irregularity. Also had scan done. My other half had SA.

My FSH came back low and SA also had some issues which led to the referral. We have been told we will receive confirmation of our first appointment by start of October so it does take a wile for it all to start.

It sounds like you are doing everything you can do. It is really hard to relax (which everyone tells you to do) and I find it really hard every month when my period shows after waiting! We did book some nights away/ date nights in for the ovulation periods and I have spoken to a few close friends about it which has helped.

We decided to get the tests all done on the nhs first and are going to give it to after Christmas to see where we are with nhs waiting times before deciding to go private. In our area we have been told that we can have 3 cycles in nhs but if we go private then that is reduced by any private cycles we have.

Very long post but hopefully some of it is useful!

@Buttons86 very helpful, you sound like you are at the same stage with us, we are waiting for all these test results to come back and next specialist appointment which will be in 3 months. Depending om what the results are we will then decide whether we wait for the NHS funded IVF which should technically be available for us next september which wished equal the 3 years the specialist told us we have to wait, but if the waiting list is longer I guess we will look at private, I am just concerned about how much it is going to cost. :-(
You just never imagine it will be this hard do you.

@Annelizabeth15 No, it is a tough road to be on and it’s hard to not let it take over. Hopefully once you get the tests back it will help you make a decision…and you never know it might happen in the meantime. Fingers crossed for you.