Hi All,
Firstly apologies for the very long message but you will see how hard the journey we have been through is and also how desperate we are to find answers and ultimately have our rainbow baby.
If you wouldn’t mind I would love you to read our story and give any advice you can that helped you on your search for success. We are living in Ireland but I follow this website as so much excellent advise and information on it.
We are in such a difficult crossroads now and are just exhausted by it all.
I am now 39 and my wife 38 since Feb of this year.
We are now into our 6th year of our fertility journey and to say it has been such a difficult and horrendous journey would be such a strong under statement.
We got married in 2014 and decided to start trying in early 2017 as we were starting to build our new home then.
After approx 12 months of trying my wife went for some bloods and tests and all came back fine.
At this time we had no idea about IVF and the stats with males accounting for approx 50% of couples having problems conceiving.
After my wife’s tests came back fine I went for a semen analysis (which we assumed would be fine- boy do we know more now!!) but my sperm count was very low.
A test 1 week later reconfirmed this so we were told to head to our local fertility clinic to begin treatment.
We had our visit to to the clinic in Sept 2018 ( a few weeks after my own father passed away at 63 after getting pancreatic cancer) and I was told I had an easy job as all I had to do was give a sample and job done.
Unfortunately when my wife was scanned a large fibroid was seen and we were told this would have to be removed due to its size.
It took us almost 1 year to get an appointment for this so between this and recovery for my wife, as it was a serious surgery, we were not able to start IVF until Feb 2020.
We had an ICSI cycle just before lockdown from Covid and got 2 Day 5 blastocysts, 1 of which we were told by a nurse was a great quality and would rarely be seen in their clinic.
We did an FET with this once the clinic was allowed open again with Covid and assumed this had to work as it was such a ’great quality’ embryo.
Needless to say it didn’t implant and we were shocked.
As my wife was then 36 we decided to keep the other embryo frozen and do a new cycle to bank as many embryos as we could when my wife was younger.
So we did a new ICSI cycle in Sept 2020 with the long protocol and even though my wife only got 5 eggs we got 3 to 5 Day blastocyst stage which was excellent.
The first of these was a fresh transfer and failed to implant, the next of these (which was our 3rd embryo transfer overall) was a positive- we were over the moon and had the most wonderful Christmas ever knowing we were pregnant even though we told no-one.
We had our 6 week scan a day or so early as my wife had some bleeding and was convinced we had lost our angel but we were told all was great and we even had a heartbeat- incredible.
Our 8 week scan was then our last with our clinic before we were released to the public system- my wife was having loads of symptoms so we were convinced all was perfect-I was not allowed in due to Covid and when my wife text to say there was no heartbeat it was one of the worst moments of our lives.
My wife took medication to pass the sac instead of D&C but this didnt work so we had to go again the next month with more medication and this worked- it was such a horrific experience but amazingly we did get to see our little angel as my wife and I could retrieve it from the sac- a bitter sweet moment to see our little one so tiny with nubs forming and to see their tiny nose- amazing but heart-breaking.
We contacted a fertility specialist in Ireland in Jan 2021 after finding out about our miscarriage and after being on a waiting list got to see her in April 2021 via zoom.
She was so thorough and put us on a rake of supplements and had me visit a urologist- something that was never suggested before.
They took no notice of me in my clinic once I had sperm.
She also suggested me to get DNA frag test even though our clinic said there was no need as either way they use ICSI and it’s a waste of money.
** Track back to 2018 when we were trying naturally and I had pain on and off in my testicles.
I went to my doctor (who I since have changed as he wasn’t great I felt) and upon examining me and listening to me he said it’s fine and it comes from crossing your legs which I used do at times when watching TV- He said his friend used get it so nothing to worry about.
This was at a time I had never heard of sperm DNA or varicoceles.
Upon my father passing his doctor, who is excellent, was taking on new patients so my brothers and I signed up just to keep with a doctor who knows the family history of cancer etc as I had a few uncles who had it also.
When signing up with him in Nov 2018 I asked for my testicles to be examined again as the pain was still there and didn’t feel right- again he found nothing upon examination but sent me for an ultrasound which I had in Dec 2018.
At this time all I was worried about was anything sinister and didn’t know what a varicocele even was and how much it can impact male fertility.
The report came back as normal and it stated no varicocele present.
Back to May 2021, after seeing our fertility specialist, and we transferred our final embryo from our 2nd cycle (our 4th transfer overall) and this lead to a chemical pregnancy.
I saw a urologist then in the end of May 2021, who upon physically examining me shouted OMG!!!- You have a grade 3 varicocele- literally within 5 seconds he said this.
He was shocked.
As he was a consultant he was able to bring up my scan from Dec 2018 with the company I was scanned in (after they said no varicocele present) and he said it’s clear as day on the scan and was appalled.
To say we were angry and I guess also relieved as we had an answer as to why things weren’t possibly working for us was again an under statement.
In the meantime before this my sperm DNA frag, via our clinic with SPZ lab (not the comet test with Examen so a different test ) came back at 30.3% (ideally under 15% for natural and under 20% for IVF)).
I had surgery in July 2021 and on the morning of it I had an ultrasound to confirm the size and the radiologist told me it was the largest one she had seen since being in Ireland.
The surgery went well and the report said it was a large and complex varicocele.
As I had surgery I had to wait 4 months to let the sperm regenerate and during this time my wife had a laparoscopy (hope I’m getting the name right!!) on our fertility specialist's recommendation to make sure all was fine internally and thankfully it was.
I retested my sperm and the normal visible parameters had all mainly improved and my sperm DNA came down to 19%- we were over the moon and the plan was to start a new cycle in Jan of this year.
Around Christmas time I began to get slight pains again in my testicles so I got an ultrasound done in Jan of this year which showed a grade 1 varicocele- I managed to see my urologist in March 2022 about this and he did see 2 veins which were causing problems. He said his surgery was a huge success as could be seen in some of the sperm parameters and said not to get too bogged down with sperm DNA as it changes daily. He said to try another cycle or two and if it didn’t work to get the sperm DNA comet test or possibly get the new grade 1 varicocele embolised, even though he wasn't sure if it would make much of a difference.
I did another DNA test in Jan after getting paid and DNA level went from 19 to 26.2% so was absolutely gutted!!
So, Jan of this year my wife had a cyst and cycle had to be cancelled.
Feb of this year one of her follicles on the short cycle bolted and was growing too quickly so we had to cancel as we didn’t have enough grown to a needed size whilst this one was bolting.
March of this year they put us back on the long protocol and my wife got 4 mature eggs which yielded 1 day 5 which we transferred fresh but did not implant- we saw the slightest line so we think it was a slight chemical.
June of this year, after talking with to overall manager of our clinic, we did another long cycle and increased the dosage of stim meds to try and get as many eggs as we could and we only got 3 eggs, 1 of which went to Day 3 and we transferred this on Day 3 but unfortunately was a BFN.
At this meeting with our clinic, I again brought up sperm DNA and was cut short and said he wished these people would put their money where their mouth was!!
So we now have had 6 single transfer and no live birth.
We have one frozen embryo left from our first cycle with our clinic but this is when I had a grade 3 varicocele so not sure of chances with this.
Last week I went for 2 DNA frag tests- one last Tuesday with our clinic via SPZ lab (this is the test I always have done) as this is needed for a case of negligence I am taking against my original scan in 2018 which stated no varicocele.
All of this journey could possibly have been avoided if this negligence hadn’t happened.
It’s just been so so hard. I am waiting on this result but the sperm parameters from the semen analysis for this were best I have ever had and all parameters were withing normal WHO guidelines. First time ever morphology got to 4%.
Last Friday we went to Belfast for the sperm comet test with Examen and I received my results a few days back. We also did this test as my urologist wanted this test done.
This was 3 days after my other test with my clinic.
It’s mind boggling as this sperm analysis showed a progressive motility of only 23% when the sample 3 days earlier with Waterstones showed 64% which is some difference. (Motility went from 72 to 35 in space of 3days!!)
The sperm comet DNA test showed awful results- this is the first time I have had this test - my average sperm DNA frag is 47%,my healthy sperm is 10% and unhealthy is 41%- these results seem awful in comparison to the fertile ranges.
We are just crushed and at a loss. I spoke with the head scientist in EXAMEN and she said the motility levels cannot fall like this in the space of 3 days and things perhaps one report is correct and one is wrong and they stand 100% over there report- mind boggling!!
I don’t smoke, have stopped drinking and never drank much really, am very fit(had to even pull back on running as our fertility specialist and urologist before finding varicocele were trying to find anything that could be causing it as everything looked good on paper), eat very well and take vitamins.
I do have pain again the last couple of weeks so I am due to get an ultrasound on testicles in 1 weeks time to see if varicocele has grown and how it is now.
This is all we can think of but my urologist said in March that he doesn't know if embolization will make any difference and it cant be operated on again as already was and he was very happy with it.
It is clear now our clinic cant help anymore.
With my wife now 38 since Feb and her egg numbers low in IVF, even though she still has a good number of follicles but some are growing too quickly to let others get to a needed size before trigger shot, and with my sperm DNA we need a change.
I have spent all this week madly researching clinics abroad and have looked in some detail at 6 or 7 in Spain and now am starting looking at Czech Repub and Greece.
The clinics in Spain look great and this is where I would love and appreciate any advise.
As you can see I am desperate now as we are now beginning to realise we may need either donor sperm or donor eggs but we want to give it every possible shot first.
Basically any info AT ALL would be so welcome- we are so tired and hurt from this journey and I will do anything for my wife and I to have my wife carry a child.
I’m sorry for the long essay which is probably not the best written but I’m sure you will get the picture.
Many thanks to all who take the time to read and can give any advise