Infertility investigations, job, wwyd

[Beatrice88]

Hello, I am looking for advice from people on the infertility journey who know what’s involved. I’m 34, TTC for 2 years, never been pregnant. I’m not ovulating regularly and last semen test showed problems with motility and viscosity. Further semen test done this week and we’ve to book an appointment at the fertility clinic. I’ve no idea how long the wait for that will be.

I dislike my job as the company has a really bad culture, including discriminatory practices and not family friendly. I am in an interview process for a job I really want, much more money and development opportunities. I’m really stressing about what to do if I get an offer. How much time off might I need, is it really shitty to take a new job knowing I’m going for treatment imminently? Is it a crazy risk to put myself in a vulnerable position? On the other hand I might never get a baby so I should take the opportunities as they arise? Husband is worried about the risk, Mum and friend say take the job, get the more senior position on my cv and worry about pregnancy if and when.

I held off changing job for 2 years thinking I should stick around for the mat. leave. In the end I decided I couldn't justify putting my life on hold anymore so moved job earlier this year. I was really stressed about needing time off as soon as I started too, but 6 months later I still haven't started IVF. Do you have a timeline for when you might start?

Things I thought about were: what's the probation period? Does the new company have an IVF policy? Are you planning on telling them, taking sick leave or annual leave? (I was planning on annual leave, so have been storing mine up all year to use, but now I know them better then I'll probably tell them when I finally get to start) If you were planning on sick leave, will you still be paid if you take time off during probation?

I’ve got no idea on the timelines at all, or the process. I’ve had day 3 &21 bloods and chlamydia screen at the GP and DH has just had a second semen analysis. The next stage is to send off a questionnaire and wait for an appointment. At this stage I’ve got no idea if that takes weeks or months. I assume if the semen is fine they’ll try to get me ovulating, but if not it could move fairly quickly to IVF. What has happened to you in the 6 months?

@Beatrice88 it sounds from my experience that you are still a little way off (months) starting NHS funded IVF if that is the route you are going. As such, I would take the new job of you get the offer and decide when/if you want to disclose when the time comes.

I took a new contract position in May, started my stims cycle the same week my job started. I told them I had a non life threatening medical condition that required a lot of monitoring. I booked 5 days annual leave which I disclosed at the time of signing the contract, to cover my egg retrieval. The company is flexible with hours so appts are booked around work and I do not need to disclose apart from putting them in my calendar so no meetings are booked. After my ER I needed an unexpected procedure and so I choose to disclose fully then (they do have a more inclusive culture) and it wasn't a big deal. I was scared of telling them and that was about 4 weeks into the job.

They have just asked me to come on permanently. Contract in my inbox and they know. Like previous poster said, I stayed at a horrendous job for way to long for Mat leave and "ease". That was a mistake I should have left long ago. Not just because a pregnancy didn't happen but the mental health affect it had on me.

I remind myself frequently on this ivf path, that I matter aswell. I can't live for a "maybe baby" and a maybe baby only. I have to take care of me aswell.

All the best, I hope you get the job and take it!

Also IVF is expensive and doesn't always work first time. That extra cash will come in handy especially if you CCG only covers one to two rounds.