Infertility ruining relationship

[ivf2022]

We have just finished our first round of IVF. DH and I both found it extremely difficult and it has taken a huge toll on our relationship.

We are going to take some time to focus on building our relationship again before our next cycle but just wondered if anyone else has been through this? Any tips?

@ivf2022 As soon as the medication is out of your system you will see that your relationship will be back on track.
Don't delay too much as there will be a gap in treatment anyway.

The hormones made me horrible, tired and snappy and sometimes I thought OH just didn't understand. He said lots during the 1st round 'we are not doing this again'. As soon as the meds were completely out of my system we talked about it and I explained how that made me much worse especially when on hormones- I find the progesterone gives me like a brain fog and makes me snappy straight after stims.

IVF is hard on both of you- we have to do the physical stuff and have all the hormones rushing through them but our partners have to see us go through it all and have their partner change even though they look the same. Plan something nice together our first cycle was March 2nd July so between we booked a few single nights away a city break ( uk) and a caravan staycation. ( my clinic didn't like you have left the country for 90 days before treatment this has relaxed again now aside from counties at risk of Zika).

Our relationship went back to normal and I apologised for how I was and he could see it was the meds and progesterone. As I got my BFP I'm on progesterone until 12 weeks. 🤞🏼 I make it but the pregnancy hormones and progesterone are not as bad at all and we are scared for the early stages but really happy again.

My OH of course went straight into the next round and we got over very first BFP after 6 long years of trying. Cautiously optimistic as I'm only 6 weeks and already had a small bleed but was all the strain and arguments worth it yes. Would we both do it again? 100 %.

Be kind to yourself, our bodies have all the hormones ready to host the baby we long for and our head and heart knows it's not there yet. It's physically and emotionally draining x

@ivf2022

The same happened with us - the pressure, the medication, the stress, the unknowns meant our relationship took a nose dive. We had a conversation and acknowledged the fact that we just had to put our relationship to one side and focus on the process with the knowledge we'd get tings back on track.

The conversation and knowing we were both on the same page really took the pressure off.

We now have our 10 week old DD and feel we now have the mental capacity to focus on 'us' as well and all is good.

Wishing you all the best x

I think our relationship is still going through my DH realising that the drugs make me crazy sometimes so he has learnt to put up with me to a certain extent. I do remind him sometimes. I've been doing ivf for 2 years 8 months and am on a ridiculous amount of drugs now that take its toll physically and mentally. We put our bodies through so much. Don't get me wrong, sometimes DH has, in my view, not been sympathetic enough sometimes, but I try and remember that he just can't 'get it' fully.