Frozen embryo transfer at age 43 - am I nuts?

[RedPandaFluff]

We were overjoyed to have toddler DD when I was 40, as a result of four rounds of donor egg IVF.

We have a frozen embryo and I can't help thinking that we've got to give it a chance - I'd love another baby, it would be DD's genetic sibling, and finances aren't an issue. But . . . I'm 43. We were just about scraping our lives back together and feeling human again after the craziness of the baby/toddler years, and I definitely feel my age sometimes (although generally fit and healthy).

So, age 44 if the transfer worked, with a newborn and a toddler. Would this be madness?

I can't imagine that we'd be so lucky again, though. Maybe fate will decide for us . . .

I have 2 frozen embryos left after twins last year after many losses and 5 rounds of IVF. I'd like to give them (well at least one a chance). having embryos left frozen has led to some complicated feelings - I do feel like they deserve a chance too - to me they are a "life". I'd be happy to transfer them and it not work. Personally for me my age cut off would be 40 though. I'm knackered! But I know thats part and parcel of having twins! I'm definitely more tired than I was 5 years ago and can't imagine being into my 40s with a newborn

@RedPandaFluff I think I'd have to do it, you may always regret it if you don't. Some people are having their first at your age.They say it's easier second time around.

'complicated feelings' is exactly right, @cantcomplainabouttheweather - I feel like it deserves a chance and I should transfer it, let fate decide, and then I can make peace with my family being complete if it doesn't work and enjoy the new-found freedoms as DD gets older. But I have to be prepared for if it actually worked - I would LOVE another baby, I'd be so happy, but I haven't forgotten how hard it is either.

Also agree that I'd regret it if I didn't, @PMAmostofthetime - I'd always wonder 'what if . . . '

It sounds as if I know what to do, really, doesn't it? Thank you both!

@RedPandaFluff yes you have made youth decision you just needed to say it out loud.

Good Luck x

@RedPandaFluff

Just remember though one embryo could easily split and become twins 😂 I know lots of ladies that happened to!

That's what's making me nervous about transferring my final ones - physically I can't carry twins again Although I'd love another set!

You'll always wonder about it if you don't do the transfer? Especially as you have just the one child currently - even for me having 3 kids already I lie awake at night wondering if my last embryos are boys or girls and which one of their siblings they'd look more like. It's totally different to just TTC "normally" for a sibling.

Also I know I can't bring myself to destroy them so do I just keep paying for storage forever?

Our embryos are much fought for - more so than most other peoples naturally conceived children. I feel like I committed to making them so I should follow through!

(Not sure DH will agree at the moment though - he'll take some convincing!)

Something to make sure you've considered is will you definitely be ok if it doesn't work? Personally I'm pregnant currently with our second. We have one embryo left in storage and have agreed to let that go if this one arrives safely. For me personally I know I wouldn't be able to end on a failure and would end up starting the whole process again!

Hope it worked out for you

What did you decide OP? Hope all worked out. We had our D.C. at 41, 43 and now pregnant with our final perfect embryo at 46 as just like you couldn’t bear not to give it a chance. Agonised for ages!

Hi @Endure100 and @ferntwist - thanks for coming back! We did transfer the embryo, and I'm currently 17 weeks pregnant! It's just amazing and I can't believe it! Although . . . this pregnancy has been so hard, not too bad during first trimester but awful sickness and exhaustion in the last few weeks, had to get anti-emetics which only help a little. Also, we've had very difficult personal circumstances (DH diagnosed with cancer a couple of weeks after embryo transfer) so the next few months are going to be tough, looking after a three year old, working full-time, looking after DH during his treatment and not feeling great myself if this sickness doesn't clear up.

Very many congratulations to you, @ferntwist - when is your baby due?

Hi @RedPandaFluff and huge congratulations to you! What wonderful news. So sorry to hear about DH’s diagnosis however and your sickness. What a lot of life coming at you right now.
I’m currently almost 9 weeks so a little bit behind you!
Sending you every good wish and hoping your pregnancy and DH’s treatment goes smoothly

@RedPandaFluff congrats! Really pleased for you. So sorry to hear about your husband, lots of vibes

@RedPandaFluff That does sound very tough with the diagnosis fingers crossed swift recovery and delighted the transfer worked out well for you can you reach out for some extra help from anyone I'm sure people would help out if they could.
Can I ask you ladies of similar age to me 43 what kind of protocol worked for you I'm looking at transfer in May had all the microbiome tests and kitchen sink etc probiotics but I'm sure I'm near menopause and wondering what sort of protocol worked for you for meds
Obvs everyone is different but interested in hearing from women my age!

Hi @Endure100 I took 20mg Prednisolone from first heartbeat (6/7 weeks) until 12 weeks, daily Clexane injections from first pregnancy test to 12 weeks, baby aspirin 150mg from 7 weeks and progesterone peas are suppplements (Cyclogest 400mg x 3 daily) until 12 weeks. Can’t remember how long I took the aspirin for but it’s supposed to prevent pre-eclampsia. Good luck!

Sorry that you say progesterone suppositories not peas!

Thank you @ferntwist !

I was on a similar protocol to @ferntwist except I had oestrogen too.

So, oestrogen, inhixa (same as clexane), aspirin and prednisone from day one of cycle, then increased dose of prednisone from day 14, started progesterone pessaries on day 14 too, then embryo transfer on day 19. Carried on all meds until 12 weeks, then stopped oestrogen and inhixa, weaned off prednisone, but kept going with aspirin.

It's such a relief but also really stressful stopping the meds at week 12 - on one hand it's amazing to not have to do the injections and pessaries every day, but at the same time, you worry that stopping them will trigger a miscarriage! Thankfully it didn't first time round, and I'm now 18 weeks with our second (scan at 16 weeks showed everything was fine).

Good luck! Happy to answer any other questions you have