Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Infertility

Our Infertility Support forum is a space to connect with others in the same position, discuss causes, treatment and IVF, and share infertility stories of hope and success.

Flip

Original poster

Missed miscarriage

23 replies

Pinklady81 · 30/07/2022 12:07

After many years of waiting for this ....After seeing heartbeat at 6 weeks another scan yesterday at 8 weeks showed baby had stopped growing despite symptoms still and no bleeding. Going to EPU Monday for next steps which have explained could go 3 ways expectant, medical or surgical. After reading threads I'm thinking surgery and I go away on holiday in 3 weeks so ideally want this not to go on any longer than needed both physically and emotionally. Any advice from you who have been through this

OP posts:

RainbowLiverpool · 30/07/2022 18:23

Hi @Pinklady81 ,

I had a missed miscarriage in May after trying to conceive via IVF for a year and a half. I went for my 8 week scan and the heartbeat had stopped and they think the baby stopped growing at 6.5 weeks.
It was the most devastating news, and I can truly say I understand how you feel. I had to wait another week for a scan to confirm it again (ridiculous really) and then after that I asked for the surgery but they could only book me in 2 weeks after so there was a lot of waiting around and anxiety as the miscarriage could happen any day.
For me surgery was the only way to try and have some control. It wasn't a nice experience and a lot of ppl have said they had no pain after, but I was in agony unfortunately. it's just a real lottery as everyone is different, but if i had the choice again I would still go with the surgery as it meant everything was finalised. The waiting is so hard! Emotionally I'm still finding it very draining but each day it does get a little easier.
Sending you lots of love and hope xxx Here if you want to talk xxx

Ifitistobesaid · 30/07/2022 18:24

So sorry. Miscarriage after infertility is particularly cruel.

I’ve had three miscarriages . One was natural and took about two weeks to complete. The second I had surgical management under local anaesthetic which was painful and awful and had to be repeated a few weeks later under general as they didn’t do it properly. The third one seemed to be happening naturally as I bled heavily for 10 days, but I found out a few weeks after I stopped bleeding that I hadn’t passed the sac so I had to have surgical management under general again.

So while I’m sure your experience won’t be as complicated as mine have been there’s no way to ensure that it will be over with quickly.

I haven’t tried the pills but if I was going through it again I would try the pills first and then do surgery if they didn’t work. Surgical management under general was painless and I recovered quickly but it does come with a risk or scarring.

Original poster

Pinklady81 · 30/07/2022 18:26

@RainbowLiverpool many thanks for the reply. I've made my mind up that surgery is what I want. I was going through ivf too but baby was conceived naturally with a break in between my cycles. I go away shortly on holiday and I am going after everything that has happened the last few years! I don't want to have to wait a week my clinic told me yesterday and I am going to Epu Monday I just want to get it resolved sounds awful but I do. I had an ectopic a few years ago and that literally broke me apart , today I just feel numb and can't cry I just want it all to go away .

OP posts:

RainbowLiverpool · 30/07/2022 18:33

I'm so sorry, it's so hard. It's cruel and unfair.
Holiday is a good idea, try and be you again for a while. I really really want and need a holiday but have my next transfer in August so preparing for that now. It just seems endless.
I'm not going to say look for the positives because that is bullshit and at the moment you really do need time to grieve. I was numb for the first couple of weeks and carried on working but after the surgery it all kicked in that it was actually happening and I took some time off to just relax and also really allow myself to feel whatever I wanted.
You are amazing! After everything you've already been through, you have kept going! You don't have to be strong all the time xx

Original poster

Pinklady81 · 30/07/2022 20:39

Thank you I feel very different to last time I just keep trawling the internet for a solution which I know it can't offer me right now . I pray that this is a mistake but know it's not and I still feel pregnant it's a cruel cruel world but I know I will be okay as I survived last time and I can do it again !

OP posts:

birdbybird · 01/08/2022 14:41

Hi @Pinklady81 I'm so sorry... I went through this last week. It's a week later and I still have daily episodes of bursting into tears. I had no bleeding before thie MVA and was on pessaries for the ivf cycle and since the MVA have had spotting/bleeding which is a constant reminder.
It's very tough...

Mancbear88 · 01/08/2022 17:53

i had a missed miscarriage picked up at my 12 week scan. I had the medical management because I’d have had to have the surgery on my birthday. The medical management was horrible and it didn’t work anyway so I had to have the surgery.

The surgery was fine. From a practical point of view make have some pads, a hot water bottle, comfy clothes and pain killers plus a treat (wine, chocolate whatever you want), you might not need them all but good to have them if you do.

Emotionally i found it really hard, don’t try and cope on your own if you don’t want to, I found work and friends were supportive. People on here were too.

Theres not a one fits all, look after yourself emotionally and physically. As bad as it feels now it will start to feel better eventually.

Original poster

Pinklady81 · 01/08/2022 18:42

I really lost it in the hospital as I have been scanned privately and there was a heartbeat previously they are saying I need a second rescan with them in 10 days time which o said why as today there was no heartbeat.

I've opted for surgical but they are just trying to linger it out so they've now taken my bloods got to go back in a few days have more bloods done and then go from there ....

OP posts:

birdbybird · 01/08/2022 18:53

Aww I’m sorry @Pinklady81 this was my fear when I went. Did you take a copy of your earlier scan? I took the scan from my ivf clinic with me and they saw in 10 days it had only grown by one day with no heartbeat and I was able to book in an MVA 3 days later. They did mull it over for a few mins. I’m so sorry this is happening to you. Sending love xxx

Original poster

Pinklady81 · 01/08/2022 18:54

They won't accept the private scan pictures and the clinic hasn't kept them which not very happy about ! They said to come back in ten days but I literally broke down and said please please no I need this sorting so they have said bloods may help and Thursday we may have more of an idea but I go away in 2 weeks and this is something I really really need !!!!

OP posts:

birdbybird · 01/08/2022 19:00

@Pinklady81 so are you going back on Thursday for bloods again? I think you have a good chance of being able to go. Once my mmc was confirmed, they booked me in 3 days later for the mva and recovery is quick after that xxx

Original poster

Pinklady81 · 01/08/2022 19:01

They said trust policy is 10 days between scans even though they have said the foetus is not the correct size and no heartbeat . They saw how distressed I was and said if I go back for bloods again Thursday then they may be able to do something but the surgery list is extensive !

OP posts:

birdbybird · 01/08/2022 19:35

@Pinklady81 so the only thing is to wait for now. If their surgery list is extensive I wonder if there is another EPU at a different hospital with a shorter wait time.

miss.89 · 02/08/2022 00:34

I'm so sorry I went through this in January found out at the 12week scan I went for the surgery just wanted it over with look after yourself self care helped me alot xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

miss.89 · 02/08/2022 00:35

miss.89 · 02/08/2022 00:34

I'm so sorry I went through this in January found out at the 12week scan I went for the surgery just wanted it over with look after yourself self care helped me alot xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

@Pinklady81

Original poster

Pinklady81 · 02/08/2022 08:19

@miss.89 @birdbybird it seems to me they have me a choice but as soon as I said surgery they said it's an extensive list and you could be waiting a few weeks and then they said come back on 10 days how is that fair or humane in the day and age? I still have all the symptoms of pregnancy which is an added kick in the teeth but the medical management is not an option for me sounds just awful and I couldn't cope with the physical side of things

OP posts:

miss.89 · 02/08/2022 10:10

@Pinklady81 aww they said the same to me I waited 10 days they even tried cancelling if I didn't change hospitals I opted to stick with the date and travel that much further just to avoid doing bloods again once I was there it went really quickly and I hardly bleed afterwards and had a period a month later xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Original poster

Pinklady81 · 02/08/2022 10:49

@miss.89 so you went to a different hospital I don't have another local hospital next one is miles away

OP posts:

miss.89 · 02/08/2022 13:55

@Pinklady81 yh they said I couldn't have it at the original one last min if I did I would of needed to wait and redo the bloods I couldn't wait any longer as I was still feeling very pregnant and the thought of seeing anything was too much the hospital I ended up going was like 4miles away I would not of minded waited it's just inconvenient because you have to have bloods 2days before and that took all day for me being shuffed around by staff who struggled taking my bloods. I went for this option because I had a previous miscarriage where I saw everything come out one time while using the toilet at 7weeks and I don't wish that on anyone I hope everything goes smoothly for you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Original poster

Pinklady81 · 02/08/2022 13:59

@miss.89 I don't want that either plus I'm going on holiday in a few weeks and I've had previous ectopic and would t wish that on anyone

OP posts:

LibertyQ · 02/08/2022 16:20

I’m so sorry you are in this horrible situation. I’ve suffered a few mmcs. They are just so dreadful. Like you, I’ve been made to wait weeks when there’s obviously no hope! During covid I had to wait in a room all day for an op with no food or water and then it got cancelled and I had to come back a week later. I feel that the aftercare in mmc actually affected me more than the mmcs. I understand that they have to wait because of the 1% or whatever if cases where someone has their dates wrong or sonographer error rates etc but it feels like you’re being dealt blow after blow when you’re on your knees already. I really felt angry that they didn’t accept private scans
I had the operation 3x and found it fine pain wise. I bled for about 10 days after. My cycles bounced back to normal straight away, except with the last one where they went a bit delayed
Massive hugs to you op

Original poster

Pinklady81 · 02/08/2022 17:18

I need something to happen as I go away on holiday in a few weeks and need this holiday more than anything !! Sounds odd but I need that to focus on

OP posts:

Blessedmummytobe · 06/08/2022 17:30

Hi all

@Pinklady81 im so sorry to hear you are going through this. Sending love your way.

im not sure if it’s also happening to me…I’m about 6 weeks and a few days now. Round about 2 weeks ago I got really sharp pains and cramps and my symptoms appeared to go away. Since then the symptoms have been coming and going. About 2 days ago I used the bathroom and wiped I got pale pinky mess on the tissue (tmi sorry) and It’s happened twice more. I’m in no pain. I’m starting to feel nauseaous aswell. So confused. Has anyone else experienced this?

Flip