IVF stuck on what to do

[Cookiechoc]

Hi all, we are fast approaching our first IVF cycle and to put it plainly i don't want to do it. We are about to book in our treatment dates and I can't help but think why on earth am I about to put myself through this nightmare. I am terrified of down regging with buserelin because of emotional side effects. I don't know if other people felt like this before starting their first cycle. After all of these years we are finally here and all I feel is dread and I can't even come up with a reason as to why i'm doing this. Before I got this close to treatment i really wanted a child more than anything and now I feel like its just not worth it. Did anyone else get cold feet before treatment

I'm also super scared of the all the medications and the actual procedure... I'm definitely getting cold feet but I feel like my desire for a baby outweighs my fear (I stole this quote)
Maybe delay it and give yourself some time to see things clearly
is that an option for you?

Hey mina, thank you so much for your reply, i'm right there with you with the fear! I'm glad you have clarity and know what you want. I hope you get success, I'm also not sure if the NHS will let me delay treatment?

I know the feeling, we put it off for a couple of years because we couldn’t face it. I read so many stories about how hard it is and the effects of the hormones. Honestly though, I ended up finding it easy to manage. It really helped to break it into stages and not even think about the next one until I had finished the current one. So downreg, stims, EC and then transfer. I was also lucky that I didn’t have any side effects.

Not sure if this is helpful, I just really wanted to give you a positive story as not so many of them are shared.

I sat and cried the day the drugs were delivered wondering how on earth we could have got to this point.

I deliberately chose to do mild protocol ivf though so I didn't have to do down reg as that part put me off the most. My entire cycle from start to egg collection was less than 2 weeks

Don't be afraid to push clinic to try different protocols or choose a clinic which only doses mild/natural modified like create

I hope you don't mind me jumping on this thread! Any advice/guidance is greatly appreciated

I'm 30 and have a daughter (7) conceived naturally

I have been diagnosed with PCOS and have a high follicle count

The fertility clinic (CRGW) have recommended IUI or IVF Lite but I am unsure what to go with. The success rates with IUI worry me and although IVF has a greater expense, is it worth going for this first as last to save "wasting" money?

Any experiences/advice on the success rates for first time IVF with PCOS please?

I was always just eager to get going. But! It was not as bad as I thought it was going to be. Lots of people find it a bit stressful but get a baby at the end.

@Cookiechoc I was scared first cycle in March 2nd ( I'm in 2ww)
I am absolutely petrified of needles- first cycle was shorty protocol so I didn't have Burserelin- 2nd one I did.

I was a little emotional watching TV programmes and I was grouchy as if on my periods. I was horrible to OH just before he Injected me but that was fear.
I've had points where I thought I can't do this but then thinking of a future without having of tried I could not bear. It's tough but it's manageable. I knew as soon as the last cycle ended badly I'll do it a thousand times and was much more relaxed going o to it the second time even though there were more injections. Threads on here helped me get through it- ladies at the same stage as me ladies who had been through it before giving me advice and tips it was invaluable.

My OTD is Monday and I've got a BFP atm- scared and excited hoping it will still be there Monday.

Any questions just ask x

I had all these feelings before starting despite months earlier being desperate to start. I think it is normal. Even now in the thick of it I wonder why and if I should be putting my body through all of this for a chance and not even a guarantee. I have a package for 3 cycles and honestly I'm not sure I would go again. RIP my money.

My best advice is break it down into chunks and focus on putting one foot in front of the other. Nothing more nothing less than is all you are required to do. You got this!

@Cookiechoc good luck, it's definitely nerve wrecking when you start with, once you start I don't think it'll be as bad as you think, lots of us have been through this and can answer any questions. I agree take it one day at a time xx

Ah... I keep forgetting. I'm going private so it's quite different.. can't hurt to ask!