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Telling your boss about IVF
8

nizo1245 · 29/07/2022 09:33

So excited to have finally reached the front of the waiting list, but I'm having a little panic about whether to tell my boss or not.

I think it would be easier - short notice appointments and having to do injections at the same time every day is definitely going to get in the way of work, so if I don't tell them it'll be a bit awkward.

BUT

I started a new job a few months ago, and I've heard from various different people that nothing stays confidential here. Apparently the HR department are the worst for spreading confidential info....

If anyone has any input or advice on how they handled it, pros/cons etc. I'd love to hear from you.

Thanks!

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PMAmostofthetime · 30/07/2022 09:20

@nizo1245 I checked and my work had an IVF policy which was great I told my one boss and that's it- it made it so much less hassle and stress free- your other option would be to take 2 weeks sick leave from the date of your first scan.

Good Luck

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PMAmostofthetime · 30/07/2022 09:21

@nizo1245 I made it clear to my boss that no one else knew not even family. So she would know I knew where the leak came from of there was one.
This is my second cycle no one knows my colleagues as they are covering me at short notice I have told I have ladies problems.

No one asks anymore then x

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LosingHopeIVF · 31/07/2022 00:01

At my previous job I was very open with my bosses about it, but I'd been there over 10 years so I felt I had a lot of equity.

I'm now under 6 months in a new role and haven't told anyone I'm having IVF, but have told my boss I'm having some medical treatment for a personal issue that I'd rather not discuss.

I said I'd be happy to provide any proof of appointments to HR, but that hasn't been necessary.

Not sure whether she suspects or not, but either way she's been incredibly supportive about me having awkwardly timed doctors appointments and taking time off at short notice. In return I work hard and always make up the time.

I potentially have a BFP now!! And am feeling nervous about telling her, but cross that bridge when I come to it...

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Agapanthus13 · 31/07/2022 07:36

@nizo1245 its a really tough one. I haven’t told my boss, I’ve worked there for over 10years and we not massive @ 50 ppl). I know them all really well but I just couldn’t bring myself to say anything as i know it wouldn’t stay confidential, and I didn’t feel I could deal with the added pressure of people knowing. We’ve now been having ivf for 2.5years and I’ve had a LOT of appointments over that time. I try to arrange my appointment first thing or lunch time but it’s not always possible and I do find myself stressing at how long I’m out of the office for- even though I always make it up. Xx

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Minamina · 01/08/2022 01:35

If news spreads quickly at your new work, and it's very important to you that people don't find out , I suggest you have a very strict conversation with your boss and express the urgency of the matter (If you're willing to risk), if not keep it vague and explain that there will be some procedures... in all honesty they don't have to know what it is youre doing exactly

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amkw · 02/08/2022 10:15

I'm in the same boat. I'm starting ICSI in September and I'm debating whether to tell my boss or not. I know they will be fine, but as you said...word does spread even unintentionally.

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nizo1245 · 02/08/2022 10:41

Thanks everyone, I really appreciate your responses and hearing your stories.

I'm leaning towards not telling them specifics. I'm sure people will speculate which will be annoying in itself, but hopefully I can minimise the risk of that with a good poker face and well rehearsed responses.

A year ago I'd have given anything to finally be at this stage, so just trying to look at the positives now and learn to ignore anything else, it's a work in progress.

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Minamina · 02/08/2022 18:28

I think that's the best way to go! It honestly could be anything! Just be super vague about it
Good luck!
xx

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