feeling disheartened in our TWW

[stilltryingTC]

Hi all, looking for some positive support please.
I’m on day 4 of our TWW (3rd cycle of IVF) and I’m feeling disheartened. I want to be positive for this embryo but I just can’t believe it’s going to work and now I’m feeling really guilty about not being more optimistic. Like my pessimism is letting everyone down and will negatively impact implantation.
Have you had a similar experience and did it end in success? Would love to hear your positive stories please!

Hi @stilltryingTC, not much experience here as only on our first cycle and also in the TWW.
But just wanted to say I'm feeling the same. People are telling me positive thinking but it’s really hard and I don’t want to get my hopes up! You can’t help feeling the way do, sounds like you’ve been through some tough times to! Sending positive vibes that this will be your cycle!! X

Thanks for the message @popcornbella The TWW is such a rollercoaster. Some days I feel really excited and like the whole thing is a miracle. Other days… it’s hard to be positive at all. Really good luck to you xxx

I was third time lucky - and for the first time I had some bleeding about 10 days into the TWW too. I was utterly convinced that it hadn't worked, so much so that I cancelled our trip to the hospital for a blood test and opted for a HPK. I now wish I'd gone to the hospital (hindsight is a great thing), but I couldn't bear to see all the disappointed faces yet again ... instead of which I did my test alone and started hyperventilating when it was positive.

Until you do the test you never know. I understand how dreadful it is, truly I do. Fingers crossed.

The TWW is so hard, personally I think you just need to let yourself feel whatever you feel, at the end of the day it's down to science and luck and really your feelings aren't going to impact on whether an embryo implants or not. We had 4 rounds and I was so fed up with people telling me to be positive, it felt impossible after all we'd known was years of disappointment and setbacks! Remember that the hormones will be having a huge impact on your emotions too. On our 4th round I was really just going through the motions not expecting it to work, incredibly it did work despite my complete lack of positivity! We've recently had another round to try for a sibling and I'd say I was far more positive this time around, although the meds definitely made me feel down at times, but it didn't work. Which further adds to my theory that mindset makes no difference to the outcome! Wishing you lots of luck, it's such a tough journey and I don't think people can really understand if they haven't experienced it themselves x

Hi Op, I'm the most pessimistic person in the world, my glass is always half empty.

I only tested early because I was desperate for a glass of wine. It worked the first time for us and I just couldn't believe it.

I knew about the statistics that we need at least 3 rounds but it just shows that it can happen when all the symptoms are the same as pms.

Don't punish yourself for being negative just try distract yourself somehow if possible. Good luck X

Thanks @Womblesaremyfavouritefood I know you’re right, science and luck! I just really needed to be reminded!!

@Angeldelight21 i can definitely relate to needing that glass of wine! Thanks for the reassurance

I'm sure this is just a self protective mechanism to try and soften the potential disappointment. I was exactly the same, was sure it hadn't worked, just had 'a feeling' then felt guilty as though I might control the outcome through postive thinking (you can't)! I kept trying to dampen everyone's excitement because I felt terrible that others still thought it might work when I just knew for sure it hadn't. I got a positive!