Failed first attempt of IVF

[DreamOnceMore]

I’m 40 and my husband is 50. We have one son aged 4 who was conceived naturally (I was 35yrs old) within 6 months of trying. But after a few years of trying for another, we decided to try IVF.
8 eggs were retrieved and 5 were fertilized. However, only 3 were grades AA, and they were transferred.
Two days before the HCG test was due, I started bleeding/spotting. On that same day, we had to undergo quarantine because my husband was tested positive for covid, and suspected I also had it because of my symptoms. I informed our doctor of the situation and he told me not to worry too much as it might be implantation bleeding.
The day after my test was supposedly due, the bleeding was a little heavier, although I won’t say it was as heavy as my usual period. I also started having bad period-like cramps.
I continued with all my progesterones (Endometrin & Prolutex). 5 days later, I finally did the BHCG test after completing our covid quarantine.
Today I received the news that it’s negative. I felt numbed.
Thinking back on the process, I didn’t think I was mentally and emotionally prepared for the intense journey of endless needles, pains and bruises.
How do you pick yourself up to make a second attempt after a failed one?
Has anyone experienced a successful second attempt? Hope to hear some positivities here!

No positivity hear lm afraid
@DreamOnceMore We have done 2 full cycles but no success. We are meant to be doing a 3rd cycle, NICE guidelines say you should do 3 blah blah blah. Im not especially convinced, lm doing it more for my fiancé than myself. We are giving up at the end of the year, lm sick of the endless expense, disappointment, appointments, side effects etc

Hear = here

Took me 6 rounds of ivf to get pregnant. I would say if you are bleeding early that could indicate progesterone insufficiency so I would insist on a progesterone blood test the day of transfer next time.

Hi @DreamOnceMore I'm so sorry your transfer didn't work first time. I also had a 5AA transferred early this year and was completely devastated by it. I took a couple of months off IVF as I found the whole process so overwhelming and just wanted to get my head straight before trying again. We are back on a frozen transfer and I have to say they are so much easier than the stims and fresh cycle (less injections, less scans and much more straightforward). I had a frozen transfer on Monday and am in the TWW so no idea if it has been successful yet but I am definitely putting less pressure on myself and have less expectations this time round. I don't think there is any right or wrong way to cope with the stresses of IVF but for me taking a break for a couple of months and just focusing on mine and my husbands relationship has helped a lot. We have been trying for over 4 years for our first and it can be all encompassing at times so it was nice to just forget about it for a while.

I am 36 and my husband is 50 so similar in ages. We also had 4 in the freezer after first transfer (if I understand it right, you transferred one and froze 4). Have you scheduled your follow up meeting with the clinic yet? I also felt a lot better after I'd had that and new that everything was set up for as soon as I wanted to make the call.

For some people getting straight back to another cycle works though so if that feels right then go for it.

x

@GirlSYML I was also getting paranoid about my progesterone levels when I started bleeding but there was no way I could find out or do anything about it except to continue with the same dose as we were under quarantined. I think the spotting/bleeding started 2 days before the scheduled HCG test and one day after the supposed schedule, I has bad period like cramps. I have lost my confidence by then. Can’t help thinking if I could have done better 😔

@PcosSOS you are right. The stims were very intense. My body doesn’t feel like mine anymore. Not to mention the endless prodding of our lady bit through scans, egg collection and the transfer itself! It feels like my own vagina has become alien to me, and sex is like something from another planet! It makes me feel sad…
How does the frozen embryo transfer differ from the other cycle?

@PcosSOS I wish you and hubby all the best! Baby dust your way! x

Hi there! @DreamOnceMore I'm sorry you feel this way, I know after my 1st failed ivf cycle I could barely stand myself. I am 40yo and my 2nd cycle was a good one! (currently pregnant, at least up until now). Personally, I wanted my 2nd cycle to be as I dreamed it would be. I was a bit calmer, I changed a clinic, I took time off work, I had "fertility massages" and did all sorts of things. There is a light in the end of the tunnel Xxx Keeping everything crossed for you, and if you need someone to talk to, I'm here

Hi guys I'm looking for a bit of insight into how everyone managed work and IVF was your workplace supportive and how did you feel telling them what you going through? I'm working on a support and information site in my work to help people as I felt where I work there was no information and very little support. Im currently waiting to start my second cycle of IVF fingers crossed! Wishing u all well x

I just had my first transfer (FET) and got a BFN today. I knew it was unlikely to work first time, I’m 39 next month, but you hope you’ll be one of the lucky ones. It works for all these other people first time, so it feels possible. I hate the hope.

@PcosSOS I am in a similar situation to you - had my FET last Wednesday (27th April) after a failed fresh transfer in December with a 'top quality' embryo that failed. The embryo transferred this time around has the same grading (although the embryo transferred in December was hatching and this one was a fully expanded 5 day blastocyst). I have found the FET very different from the fresh transfer - I basically have had no symptoms at all during the process, other than feeling exhausted. I thought my progesterone levels would be low on the day of transfer due to the lack of symptoms but weirdly the levels were much higher this time (180 compared to 70 on the day of the transfer last time). I am trying to keep my hopes up and have held off from testing this time but it is HARD, I just keep having negative thoughts thinking it hasn't worked... how are you finding the two-week wait? I am also 36, was 35 on my first transfer, my husband is 34, we have no known issues and have a further 3 embryos in the freezer. Wishing you GOOD LUCK!

@thislittlebird sorry to hear that. I agree, the hope is so crushing.

@thislittlebird so sorry to hear that. Don’t lose hope! I had a positive outcome this time (after a failed fresh transfer in December), this was my first FET. I know it is so heartbreaking when it doesn’t work out but the reward is high.

@thislittlebird I'm sorry the first one didn't work. Hope can be a crushing feeling, sending love and hugs to you x

@IsabelHerna @EL8888 thanks!

@Whenwillithappen thanks! It's hard to get your head round them just not working. The failure is so hard and I can't imagine any of our embryos will have a different outcome. I'm not feeling very positive about it all right now, clearly lol