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Infertility

Our Infertility Support forum is a space to connect with others in the same position, discuss causes, treatment and IVF, and share infertility stories of hope and success.

Life can be so cruel…

4 replies

Notyourfault · 08/04/2022 15:47

I will try and keep this short. I am now 38 and after years of TTC, I feel we are now out of options.
After conceiving naturally very quickly with DH, we were devastated when it ended in MMC at 12wk scan.
We then realised although we hadn’t discussed previously, we now wanted a baby more than anything the world. After a break to deal with our loss, we actively tried to conceive again and I mean tried all the tricks in the book but nothing happened.
We started our IVF journey and it turned out to be pretty smooth- good health generally, good egg reserve and no sperm issues. We opted for freeze all cycle and got 7 blasts. After transferring our first embryo, we were delighted it had worked and got pregnant on first attempt.
I had some early bleeding but that settled down after 12 weeks and things progressed ok until at 28 weeks when they suspected I was starting to develop preeclampsia. After what I am told was a very difficult 3 days,
our little Angel was delivered via c-section and bubba was moved to the NICU. He was very tiny but a little fighter.
The had difficulty in controlling the bleeding after C-section and I woke up in ICU 7 days later to be told I’d been given a hysterectomy.
I went a saw my Angel and 2 weeks later was told he had a condition that needed surgery but because he was still small they would wait. To cut a long and horrifying story short, the surgery was done later down the line and we lost our little bundle of joy. I don’t know what to do with myself anymore, I feel like a part of me is missing.

We are both getting help, but nothing really helps. IYGWIM.

We are broken but have 6 good embryos left and not sure what to do.

OP posts:
FlyOnTheWall89 · 08/04/2022 18:06

I am so so sorry @Notyourfault. There are no words. Life is unfair and everyone's journey is so different and some are so lucky. You did everything right and nothing is your fault.

I should think healing is a long long way off, but once you feel okayish, you should consider a surrogate definitely. I have no idea about the pathway to this, but I'm sure someone on here does know. Nothing will replace your little boy. Perhaps one day you'll be able to tell one of those 6 blasts about him. Hugs 100 times over.

twinsetandpearl · 08/04/2022 20:20

I'm so so sorry

I know 3 ladies/couples that used surrogates but they were family members - sisters/SIL it was still a tricky path to navigate but they were successful x

Ifitistobesaid · 08/04/2022 23:12

I’m so sorry for all you’ve been through and the loss of your little boy. There’s Facebook groups for surrogacy, don’t know the names but think surrogacy UK is one. You could ask some questions there. Hope you hold one of those 6 embryos in your arms one day x

gianaInfertilitySucks · 30/04/2022 19:29

I am so sorry, what you're going through is an unimaginable kind of pain.

Sending lots of love and prayers your way x

Take some time to heal and then continue with the next transfer

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