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Original poster

When to give up?

11 replies

mrsgtobe97 · 04/04/2022 10:08

Hi everyone,

We haven't had an easy road as many of you can probably relate, our story goes as follows

December 2019 - come off pill
March 2020 - started trying, however only got 4 periods the whole of 2020 and had no clue what was going on
April 2021 - referral to the fertility clinic & advised to lose 10kg before they'd speak to me
Kept trying and failing
February 2022 - finally lost the weight and had an internal ultrasound, told I had PCOS and started ovulation induction
March 2022 - period has come so first month of that has failed and another month down the line

I just don't know how much longer I can push myself through this, and I'm not sure I want to. We have another 5 rounds of ovulation induction and then it will be IVF which I'll need to lose some more weight for which will take extra time as I put on a bit again with all the stress. I just don't know what to do, how do you know when to call it quits? I dont think I could take realistically another 1.5 years of TTC and potentially IVF

OP posts:
TheDaydreamBelievers · 04/04/2022 10:50

We have a very similar timeline! Also trying since march 2020. Also ovulation disorder with about 3-5 periods a year Now on letrozole (first round). Took a long time to get here as we had a misscarriage in Nov 2020 at 12 weeks (restarts the clock to wait for fertility referral).

At the moment I feel fine to keep on going, but its okay for us all to have a unique point that we say "this is enough, enough now"

WaltzedIntoIt · 04/04/2022 12:24

I think everyone is different and you need to trust yourself in terms of how much you can take emotionally, physically and financially.

For us started TTC in 2017, took 6 rounds of IVF - first round in 2019. Finally got pregnant December 2021. So 5 years to get pregnant.

seven201 · 04/04/2022 13:23

I think only you and your partner can decide this. I've been trying for dc2 for over 4 years now and I feel like I've reached the point where I can't give up because there's always something new that could be 'the answer'. I've had one early mc, ovulation induction (was ovulating anyway), surgery to unblock a Fallopian tube (that turned out to not be blocked), 5 failed ivf transfers, lots of extra invasive tests, surgery to remove a big adhesion, 2 early mc since that surgery (natural not ivf), and have recently discovered I have immune issues so am now being treated for that. When I told a friend I'd just had an immune diagnosis she said "so you're giving up now then?" And it really surprised me. I want to keep fighting. The only thing that would stop me is being too old (I'm nearly 40 and I didn't want to be an older mother so this is a big issue for me) or running out of money.

There is no shame in giving up. Everyone is different. I know a few women who just didn't want to do it anymore so they could get on with their life.

Also, you can decide to stop and change your mind later if you want. Counselling may be a good idea.

Diditreallylookawful · 04/04/2022 14:29

I sympathise, I truly do. Only you will know when it's time to stop, as everyone is different. Your partner might have different views to you too, and that's perfectly OK. It took 8 years for our one and only BFP. Our DC is now a teenager. I said when we started that last round of IVF that I couldn't take any more treatment. We ran out of money, patience and energy. That said I could never have rested until I thought we'd done everything in our power to succeed. There's no shame WHATSOEVER in stopping. I just didn't want to regret giving up earlier than I had to. Sending hugs .. I know how awful it is.

Scirocco · 04/04/2022 14:46

I think only you will know when you want to stop trying and what steps you're willing or able to take in your journey. Everyone's experiences will be different.

We spent 7 years trying, and our little one arrived just a couple of months after the 8 year mark.

Original poster
mrsgtobe97 · 04/04/2022 15:09

Thanks everyone, I fully appreciate it is very unique to everyone. I don't think I could personally keep going past the 3 year mark which will be coming up next March. I spoke to my partner and we are going to see through the next 5 cycles of ovulation induction and then after that's done we will give up naturally (as it is obviously just not working). I don't think I will be emotionally ready for IVF straight away, and I would also need to lose weight probably too, so we will re-evaluate our plan start of September ish. Least then we know we have tried as much as we can

OP posts:
Original poster
mrsgtobe97 · 29/04/2022 19:28

We kept going and I'm so glad we did ❤️

When to give up?
OP posts:
SerendipitySunshine · 30/04/2022 06:11

Congratulations!

Original poster
mrsgtobe97 · 30/04/2022 07:26

SerendipitySunshine · 30/04/2022 06:11

Congratulations!

Thank you so much ❤️

OP posts:
gianaInfertilitySucks · 30/04/2022 17:43

Hi there and congratulations!! Our stories are very similar, I came off the pill 2 months before you and have been trying since then without any luck. Maybe this is the time that I get a BFP too ☺ Oh thanks @mrsgtobe97 I needed the motivation today 😊

Original poster
mrsgtobe97 · 30/04/2022 17:47

gianaInfertilitySucks · 30/04/2022 17:43

Hi there and congratulations!! Our stories are very similar, I came off the pill 2 months before you and have been trying since then without any luck. Maybe this is the time that I get a BFP too ☺ Oh thanks @mrsgtobe97 I needed the motivation today 😊

Aw thank you so much. Your time is coming, it might not feel like it but when it happens it makes all the hard times disappear ❤️

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