Pregnancy - Successful Stories at 44

[Icamehere4love]

Hi there I’m looking for hope and support 🙏
I’m 44 and never been on the baby train as I’ve never felt ready or with the right person.
So now is my time but of course my age is the biggest challenge. It looks like IVF/ICSI is our first step. We would like to try with my eggs first….

Anyone going through the same?
Anyone have hopefully stories they can share?
I am a thinker and so relaxing and having faith and being calm is my priority and I think will be my biggest challenge.
We tried for about 6 months but not on it all the time, it feels harder to when you’re trying!!

I’d love to hear great stories of hope and some tips to help 🙏

My fsh levels were 8 pmol which I’ve been told is encouraging……
I’m scared for the road ahead

I think the most important thing is to be realistic....have you spoken to clinics about using your own eggs...most won't treat women with their own eggs over 43 as the success rate really is very low - the same chance as trying naturally really. You also need to have a decent IVF fund and prepare for multiple rounds as it will likely be that you only get a couple of eggs each time. Use of donors is very personal and wasn't a route I was prepared to go down so I can't help on that front unfortunately x

@Icamehere4love I am trying naturally after IVF and I am over 40. Unfortunately due to egg quality each month counts this side of 40 so the best advice would probably be to get started as soon as you are able x

@snowdropsanddaffodils

I think the most important thing is to be realistic....have you spoken to clinics about using your own eggs...most won't treat women with their own eggs over 43 as the success rate really is very low - the same chance as trying naturally really. You also need to have a decent IVF fund and prepare for multiple rounds as it will likely be that you only get a couple of eggs each time. Use of donors is very personal and wasn't a route I was prepared to go down so I can't help on that front unfortunately x

Thanks for your reply. I've done all the research and spoken to doctors and my friend who is an embryologist. I know the statistics and I also know that being positive and relaxed is a big part of it. I know there are women that have been really lucky and I'd love to hear from them to help with my perspective as like you said in black and white my chances don't look good x

[quote TTCafterIVF]@Icamehere4love I am trying naturally after IVF and I am over 40. Unfortunately due to egg quality each month counts this side of 40 so the best advice would probably be to get started as soon as you are able x[/quote]
Maybe we can be the lucky ones?
I wish you all the best ❤️

My mum had my youngest brother naturally at like 43. Though I imagine with 3 children over the age of 10, she would've been fine if she had no more so different scenario. I think as you say, a lot harder when actually trying.

I would say hope for the best, prepare for the worst. What alternative avenues are you willing to go down if it doesn't work?

Most people ten years younger are unsuccessful with IVF. It helps to be positive, but important to keep perspective. IVF is incredibly expensive as you will undoubtedly know.

But if money is no problem then go for it, if like others it'll sting, then really reflect.

Best of luck

@BabyOnBoard90

My mum had my youngest brother naturally at like 43. Though I imagine with 3 children over the age of 10, she would've been fine if she had no more so different scenario. I think as you say, a lot harder when actually trying.

I would say hope for the best, prepare for the worst. What alternative avenues are you willing to go down if it doesn't work?

Most people ten years younger are unsuccessful with IVF. It helps to be positive, but important to keep perspective. IVF is incredibly expensive as you will undoubtedly know.

But if money is no problem then go for it, if like others it'll sting, then really reflect.

Best of luck

Thank you 🙏

I know the statistics and I also know that being positive and relaxed is a big part of it.

The opposite actually: there’s plenty of research that stress levels have no impact on IVF outcomes. All the positivity in the world unfortunately can’t defy Mother Nature.

As others have said, get going now and plan for a number of cycles with PGT-A testing to find a euploid embryo. There’s a lady at my clinic who just achieved a live birth at 43. She had 3 rounds & achieved one euploid embryo (of 8 tested) which was successful.

Hey! I'm over 40 and doing IVF at the moment (round 2). If I had been more knowledgeable starting out, I'm certain I would have made different choices. In retrospect (and if I had the money) I think I would have done 3 back to back embryo banking rounds with PGT testing. That way you are only transfering euploid embryos and aren't wasting months on embryos that would never work. That being said, it's quite a financial commitment.

There was one poster on here several months ago who was sucessful with her own eggs at 45! You just never know, if you are realistic, and have the funds then go for it! You only have 1 life.

@Bryterlayter1

Hey! I'm over 40 and doing IVF at the moment (round 2). If I had been more knowledgeable starting out, I'm certain I would have made different choices. In retrospect (and if I had the money) I think I would have done 3 back to back embryo banking rounds with PGT testing. That way you are only transfering euploid embryos and aren't wasting months on embryos that would never work. That being said, it's quite a financial commitment.

There was one poster on here several months ago who was sucessful with her own eggs at 45! You just never know, if you are realistic, and have the funds then go for it! You only have 1 life.

Thank you I wish you all the luck. It's a minefield isn't it? I personally have to have faith that whatever the outcome is, it is meant to be this way. I am open to adopt but my partner isn't atm. We are uncomfortable with donor eggs but who knows if that will change if things don't work out. Z

I wish you luck, I came here.

Not me personally, but I am friends with someone who had twins aged 45 via IVF (may have been 44 when conceived). I'm sure you already know the odds so I would definitely encourage you to have an idea what you'll do if it doesn’t work, but it is possible if you're willing to spend the money and give it a try.

@Oimyerda

I wish you luck, I came here.

Thanks so much x

@Holskey

Not me personally, but I am friends with someone who had twins aged 45 via IVF (may have been 44 when conceived). I'm sure you already know the odds so I would definitely encourage you to have an idea what you'll do if it doesn’t work, but it is possible if you're willing to spend the money and give it a try.

Thank you for sharing. I am more on the side it's not going to work because of the stats but these stories do give me hope and that's why I posted in the first place. Thanks again xxx

@Icamehere4love, glad to see someone has same age with me here to start IVF, I like your positive mindset, yes, we should try our best when we still can, at least no regret. Best of luck for us!

@Icamehere4love really exciting to be embarking on this journey. It can be hard but if you want a baby then it's important to explore whether you can. Best case scenario you have a baby, worst case you know you tried your best.

Totally agree with @Porridgeislife if you feel positive that is wonderful but don't worry if you feel stressed. Everyone doing IVF is stressed so it won't hurt.

I am nearly 45 and have been doing IVF with my own eggs. We already have a DD born when I was nearly 42 from our second round of ICSI.

We've been down a very long road since then but ultimately decided to do embryo banking and testing. We got 2 euploids aged 44 out of 4 blastocysts which sounds great but it really is only half the battle. We've just had a chemical with our first euploid embryo and am preparing gradually to transfer the final one before we stop. Sorry - you wanted stories of hope!! We got the euploids...just not the pregnancy as yet!

I'm happy to answer any questions you may have. In total we've done 3 fresh cycles, 3 banking rounds, 2 FETs. I've had every result going: BFN, chemical, miscarriage and live birth.

It's great that your FSH is relatively low as this increases your chances of responding to IVF drugs.

One thing I would really stress is that all IVF clinics are NOT equal especially when it comes to treating older women or complex cases. There are only a handful of clinics I would go to at this age. Every consultant sounds good when you talk to them but they all have their limits.

Best of luck and get in touch any time if you'd like to pick my brains. I've been in this game and around these board a long time xxx

[quote ringofrain]@Icamehere4love, glad to see someone has same age with me here to start IVF, I like your positive mindset, yes, we should try our best when we still can, at least no regret. Best of luck for us![/quote]
Yes good luck to us!
Thank you for your words xxx

[quote Janefx40]@Icamehere4love really exciting to be embarking on this journey. It can be hard but if you want a baby then it's important to explore whether you can. Best case scenario you have a baby, worst case you know you tried your best.

Totally agree with @Porridgeislife if you feel positive that is wonderful but don't worry if you feel stressed. Everyone doing IVF is stressed so it won't hurt.

I am nearly 45 and have been doing IVF with my own eggs. We already have a DD born when I was nearly 42 from our second round of ICSI.

We've been down a very long road since then but ultimately decided to do embryo banking and testing. We got 2 euploids aged 44 out of 4 blastocysts which sounds great but it really is only half the battle. We've just had a chemical with our first euploid embryo and am preparing gradually to transfer the final one before we stop. Sorry - you wanted stories of hope!! We got the euploids...just not the pregnancy as yet!

I'm happy to answer any questions you may have. In total we've done 3 fresh cycles, 3 banking rounds, 2 FETs. I've had every result going: BFN, chemical, miscarriage and live birth.

It's great that your FSH is relatively low as this increases your chances of responding to IVF drugs.

One thing I would really stress is that all IVF clinics are NOT equal especially when it comes to treating older women or complex cases. There are only a handful of clinics I would go to at this age. Every consultant sounds good when you talk to them but they all have their limits.

Best of luck and get in touch any time if you'd like to pick my brains. I've been in this game and around these board a long time xxx

[/quote]
Thank you so very much for such a detailed
Helpful post!
I don't know what half the words mean and had to Google them, very very new to it all.
I am lucky to have a friend who is an embryologist and he has said it to me straight. We're going for tests next week for my bloods again (I had them July last year so just getting some updated results) and quality on my partners side.
I live in Shropshire so will either use Shropshire and mid wales fertility centre or go to Cardiff or Bristol with crwg. We will start asap and keep everything crossed!

Thanks again and I would love to reach out for more advise ....not sure how I private message on here though 🙈

I have everything crossed for you too, it's great to hear you had a your daughter ❤️❤️❤️

@Icamehere4love
Hi there,
I'm 42 and started my 1st round of ivf icsi in December.
I have a AMH of 7 which I think is pretty normal for my age.
We where told that we would be lucky in a cycle if we had anything left over to freeze. They where actually a bit negative I thought. I guess they don't want to give you false hope.
So when it came to egg collection we had 8 eggs only 7 where injected and 5 fertilised.
We had 2 that made it to day 5 blastocyst and they left the other 3 to continue until day 6 as they still weren't quite ready.
We were lucky to have 2 embryos transferred and now have two little Frosties.
I am now 8 weeks pregnant, it's still early days so not completely out of the danger zone yet.

I'm not sure if all clinics offer packages
Or money is a issue but we used a company called access which do different programs for different age groups.
Our's was £11k for 2 fresh transfers and unlimited frozen. ( I think they know that at our age there won't be that many to freeze)
We had to pay for our meds also as that's not included.

Good luck with your journey x

[quote Pixie79]**@Icamehere4love
Hi there,
I'm 42 and started my 1st round of ivf icsi in December.
I have a AMH of 7 which I think is pretty normal for my age.
We where told that we would be lucky in a cycle if we had anything left over to freeze. They where actually a bit negative I thought. I guess they don't want to give you false hope.
So when it came to egg collection we had 8 eggs only 7 where injected and 5 fertilised.
We had 2 that made it to day 5 blastocyst and they left the other 3 to continue until day 6 as they still weren't quite ready.
We were lucky to have 2 embryos transferred and now have two little Frosties.
I am now 8 weeks pregnant, it's still early days so not completely out of the danger zone yet.

I'm not sure if all clinics offer packages
Or money is a issue but we used a company called access which do different programs for different age groups.
Our's was £11k for 2 fresh transfers and unlimited frozen. ( I think they know that at our age there won't be that many to freeze)
We had to pay for our meds also as that's not included.

Good luck with your journey x [/quote]
Thank you so much for your personal story.
I have everything crossed for you and I send love to you all :)
What an encouraging story xxx
I hope one day to be able to offer the same to others going through this.
Have a lovely Sunday xxx

@Porridgeislife

I know the statistics and I also know that being positive and relaxed is a big part of it.

The opposite actually: there’s plenty of research that stress levels have no impact on IVF outcomes. All the positivity in the world unfortunately can’t defy Mother Nature.

As others have said, get going now and plan for a number of cycles with PGT-A testing to find a euploid embryo. There’s a lady at my clinic who just achieved a live birth at 43. She had 3 rounds & achieved one euploid embryo (of 8 tested) which was successful.

Thank you for your reply. It's hard to know what to believe. I know how cortisol the stress hormone can affect the body but then I also know how women in war zones still get pregnant and have babies.
Like you said you it's all down to Mother Nature. Here's hoping she is watching over me. Thanks again for your advise x

@Icamehere4love I'm sorry I overwhelmed you with detail! I've been in this world so long that I probably forgot how much jargon there is.

The Human Fertility and Embryology Association (HFEA) is a regulatory body that assesses clinics. They have data on each individual clinic. Have a look on there and compare stats. It's quite confusing when you first search especially because there are different ways to present the stats but you'll get the hang of it. If I were you I would mostly look at stats for age 40-42 because there aren't generally enough older women to provide any data.

To send me a DM you go the Mumsnet on the website, click on your account, go to private messages and then type a new message to my username. Only if you want to. No pressure.

[quote Janefx40]@Icamehere4love I'm sorry I overwhelmed you with detail! I've been in this world so long that I probably forgot how much jargon there is.

The Human Fertility and Embryology Association (HFEA) is a regulatory body that assesses clinics. They have data on each individual clinic. Have a look on there and compare stats. It's quite confusing when you first search especially because there are different ways to present the stats but you'll get the hang of it. If I were you I would mostly look at stats for age 40-42 because there aren't generally enough older women to provide any data.

To send me a DM you go the Mumsnet on the website, click on your account, go to private messages and then type a new message to my username. Only if you want to. No pressure.

[/quote]
Thank you - I use the app normally so was scratching my head but easy from website :)

Hi there, I'm 40 and doing ivf atm, my clinic is very good success rates with 40+ yo women, but even they have said to me that REALISTICALLY we might need to try donor eggs soon.

Have you talked with your fertility expert about your options? What did your counsellor say?

I am sorry I am not trying to dishearten you, on the contrary, I am just trying to help you set more realistic goals so that you wont get disappointed.

@IsabelHerna

Hi there, I'm 40 and doing ivf atm, my clinic is very good success rates with 40+ yo women, but even they have said to me that REALISTICALLY we might need to try donor eggs soon.

Have you talked with your fertility expert about your options? What did your counsellor say?

I am sorry I am not trying to dishearten you, on the contrary, I am just trying to help you set more realistic goals so that you wont get disappointed.

Thank you. I have spoken to various ppl within the medical profession and understand the stats but I wanted to come here for the hope part to help my mental state. I understand there is no thinking it into place however I do believe that the state of mind is so important on our journeys. I am hoping that one day I will be able to share some hope for others but I also know that we cannot control these things :) Bloods done this am, sample delivery tomorrow and then we will await the scan and consultation as to our next steps. Good luck and thank you for taking the time out to reply

Good luck with it. I.turn 44 in 3 weeks and my last frozen embryo transfer just failed, the last of 6. I have a 3.5 year old daughter from the 6 and I wanted a sibling for her more than anything. I keep thinking is there anything else I can do to get a baby. I keep doing the lotto in the hope that I win money for more ivf.

I'll keep my fingers crossed for you, hopefully you'll be one of the successful cases.