Planning life around IVF

[tpeas]

We're on the NHS waiting list for IVF/ICSI. So far all we have is a month as an approx. starting date. Unfortunately, that month we have been invited to two weddings and I have a conference for work. Obviously, I would prioritise the IVF if it clashes, but was wondering how those of you who have been through this already have dealt with this in terms of practicalities. I feel like I can't commit to anything with any certainty, and I need to start organising (or not!) these things which cost money, so it's tricky to know whether I can book anything. Thanks

This is basically my life for the past 4 years. I have to accept I can't plan really, until this is over. I just focus on what's in my control, don't completely stop doing things, and accept that some things I will need to cancel and miss out on.
It's another challenge of infertility that no one tells you about.

Totally understand, it's really difficult. Even once you've started IVF the dates that each thing happens is variable. It just adds another layer of stress!

I've just gone through an IVF cycle, we'd waited a year pretty much to the day because of Covid since being referred. Another 9 months to get to referral but we'll not mention that bit!! It's been a slog, and constantly thinking about what stage you will be at is really hard. Whatever makes you feel comfortable and in control is key, even if it means being a hermit for 6 months. I couldn't focus on life after IVF while I was waiting on it and experiencing it, so I understand! Timeline of it all can vary loads, but if it helps I was on a short protocol so from bloods to finishing drugs I was pretty much bang on 2 months. Good luck!

Thanks for all your replies. @AliceAbsolum sorry it's been such a long road for you. As someone who likes to plan in advance, I guess I'll have to be a bit more flexible, but then that has an extra financial hit. @wholemeal121 that's another concern - even if I knew dates with more clarity it still doesn't mean I'll be able to commit to things around it. @xana99, it's extra annoying with Covid as I feel I've been a hermit enough the last couple of years so really looking forward to social stuff - but not if it comes at such an inconvenient time. Think I'll just have to see what happens in a few months and go with the flow, even if it's a bit of a financial hit.

If that's the month you'll start treatment, depending on how it's done it might not have that much of an impact.

My starting treatment months was actually the months period, and on day 20 (?) After the start of that period I started a nasal spray to down regulate. So the impact was actually the following month.

But it's all so uncertain and hard to plan things around which makes it more stressful. Luckily for me our two cycles were during COVID-19 restrictions so not much going on anyway!

In a similar situation too! I like a clear plan too, so the 'flexible' dates of IVF really stress me out. Haven't found any solution yet

@tpeas it's really hard. I found the inability to plan my life harder than the physical part of drugs etc. My husband was great, but he didn't fully get it so kept making plans for stuff! I had to say to him very firmly to stop, as I didn't have the headspace for other people/social events at that time. We have had a positive result so I'm finally starting to relax a bit and enjoy life again. For a control freak like me it was maddening, but you just have to trust in the clinic and accept that you are on their schedule for now! Very best of luck to you 🤞🏻🍍