To leave my job because of infertility?

[trying2022]

After 3 failed transfers where I've never even seen a hint of a BFP, I am starting to consider leaving the IVF world behind and moving on with my life.

I work in a job where I'm working with kids all day, and a job where a lot of my colleagues are currently very pregnant. I have been doing a lot of soul searching, and I just know that returning back to work after everything would absolutely ruin me, and I just can't face it anymore. I would like to leave my job and find something where I could WFH, or do something entirely different.

Has anyone else been in the same situation? Or felt the same? I don't know if it's just me making a rash decision, or whether this is a good idea. I also can't think of any jobs that I could do from home either! My perfect job would be something where I could have a dog, but also I have to be sensible from a financial point of view.

@trying2022 Hi! I am in a similar situation. A colleague is pregnant, many already have kids, another one is trying IVF for the last 7 years so extremely down all the time. Right now this job is like a nightmare for me...

However, this job gives me financial stability which I definitely need if I need to go down the IVF route again. Financial stability is also important for my mental health. I totally understand your decision. I feel the same way. I also don't want to get stuck in this job for the sake of IVF... If I wasn't in the middle of FET, I would also be looking for a new job.

Since you decided not to go down to IVF road again, I would say just from the general financial stability pov, I would recommend to wait until you find something fitting you perfectly. I live in Germany, I don't know the insurance/employment rules in the UK (assuming you live in there?). Would it be possible for you to get a long sick leave and get paid by the insurance meanwhile? A few months might give you some time to breathe and look for a new job... Good luck with everything 🍀🙏

I think leaving could be wise.

Some dog walkers make a lot of money!

I think there’s no issue in leaving a job that focuses on children. But I would try retrain first do you have good job prospects - I don’t mean a new degree but even a course or secretarial/admin thing.

I would further explore wanting a job to work from home as I’d worry this is shutting yourself away which I don’t think would be good for you. You might make new friends/ new social activities/ sense of purpose from working in an office for example.

@AliceAbsolum how are you getting on? I was on the TMI April thread with you back in the day (I’ve name changed since). Are you planning a transfer?

@DrivelandNonsense Hi. Yes 4th transfer in Cyprus in March. Got 4 in the freezer so might as well use them.... I'm ambivalent as you can see!
The tmi thread was good. Lots of bfp s

@AliceAbsolum you have been through a lot so it’s not surprising! Wishing you lots of luck in your FET! I think we were among the few who didn’t get a BFP on that thread. I finally got one in November after 6 rounds of IVF. Hopefully you will get yours too with this transfer 🤞🤞

@Cayandsimit thanks for your reply. What you've said totally makes sense, my current job provides financial stability which is important if we did want to explore IVF again in the future. I'm 99% sure we'll give up but there's always that 'what if'. Unfortunately I can't take time off, I've already asked for a 6 month time period off but it was rejected.

@AliceAbsolum I would absolutely love to be a dog walker! I'm going to google how to become one!

Yep l can see why you might want to do that. Nothing worse then it being rammed up into your face most days. An old work colleague was trying to get to me to go and work on a perinatal team with her. FFS l struggle to think of anything worse

Lots of vibes @AliceAbsolum we have been on a few different threads -you won’t know me as I’ve had a few name changes along the way

I wouldn't make a life-changing decision while grieving... Would you consider counselling to help you navigate those feelings and if needed to help you make the change you need in your career?