Reaching out to see if anyone else has faced this dilemma…and for some words of strength if anyone has been through this.
I was diagnosed with premature ovarian failure a year and a half ago at 28yo. Life became very hectic for other reasons after this diagnosis, and my husband and I have only just been able to settle down in a more permanent home and start visiting the doctor again. I recently turned 30, husband is 34. We’ve been told that right now, with my condition, we have a 5% chance of achieving pregnancy naturally. We would have to start trying to conceive NOW as my hormone levels are dropping fast. I have been told that my best option is to either freeze eggs or embryos for later use, and this needs to be done within the next 6 months as my ovarian reserve is already so low.
I had only just started entertaining the idea of having a child when I was given the diagnosis, I thought I still had years to think about having kids. The thing that is making this decision so difficult right now is that I'm emetophobic. I’m better than I used to be, but I have a deep fear that I won’t make it through a pregnancy with morning sickness or nausea, or that my phobia will get the best of me and I might ‘ruin’ a child with my anxiety. I hate the thought of not being able to help a sick child, or of making a little child feel guilty or afraid of being sick. I am terrified that my emetophobia means that I am not fit to be a mother regardless of what I might want, and my hormone problems are nature’s way of taking this option away from me. The thing is, I cannot shake from my head the image of this lovely little person that we could bring into the world. My husband and I have a wonderful, close relationship. He would be an incredible father, and I know we both have so much love to give. It makes me so sad that my phobia could take this opportunity away from us...