Stressful work - IVF. Take sickness in 2WW?

[excitedemmi]

Hi all,

I have a frozen embryo transfer coming up in March. My work are absolute arseholes and there is lots of stress - working late, everything's urgent, always finding more work, not a supportive environment etc... and this is just an office job (accountancy), we're not surgeons or anything!

I am wondering whether to take time off sick for the 2ww. Like should I tell them I have a medical procedure booked and let them know I'm taking sick leave? Should I say I'm unwell at the time and take time off? Should I have the transfer and see how I feel? Just want to make sure I'm giving this embryo the best chance possible. I'm not worried about promotions and that... and I think I would like it off so that I know I am not putting additional stress on my body, but I'm worried they'll make my life harder at work?

Ask your clinic can they provide you with a sick note for the TWW. If they won’t ask your GP to sign you off on stress leave. Definitely don’t work if it’s so stressful. Sounds like you could do with the break anyway.

Thanks @Anotherviewtoyou. H

My other thought is that I tell them I'm doing IVF as from a legal perspective they would have to consider me as pregnant from transfer (www.acas.org.uk/managing-your-employees-maternity-leave-and-pay/if-theyre-having-ivf-treatment) and I would be protected from them being difficult about my sickness. Or am I overthinking this? And just need to start with the basics of whether to take it off or not. Which, it's probably a good idea to take off.

I tnink it could then be difficult for you having to explain if it didn’t work. It could be better to get signed off on medical leave and then it’s your own business. Just something to consider.

That's a good point. Think I'll keep my cards close to my chest. They don't need all the detail!

I was signed off during my treatment. In the end l had 3 weeks off which was so helpful. It meant that l didn't stress about work and could concentrate on the cycle, transfer and the 2 week wait. I could also take things easy rather than worrying about work! I would definitely recommend it! The doctors said they would give me as long as l needed. Good luck with your treatment!

Hi @excitedemmi I’m an accountant too and can sympathise with the everythings so urgent until I find something else to focus/complain about and then I want a new report on that 😂

I had the same concerns. My manager was really great about going through IVF and supporting with time off for appointments but I knew if I was in working, the expectation would be that I was full working. My advice is take as much time off as you can.
I ended up having my EC on a Monday, had Mon and Tuesday off sick to recover. Went back into work and then had my ET on Saturday so got a chance to relax over weekend. I was then in work Monday/ Tuesday and then was off Weds- Mon (pre planned trip away to coast) and honestly for me it was the best of giving me stuff to do to keep time passing a bit but then when I was testing, I was away and relaxed and had my own space to grieve if I needed to.

I think the legal protection/work view is something to consider. I am fortunate that my manager is a mum of two and her sister went through IVF about 3 months before me so she was supportive (tho didn’t know that until I said) but we were also going through a buy out and she put all my sick leave down and pregnancy related so as much as possible it was legally protected. I was also newly promoted (

I did lots of fets last year and didn't take any time off for any of them. They all failed, they probably would have even if I had rested. But after the last one I came home and got into bed. Told my husband he was on childcare duty. I spent most of the next day in bed too. Just chilling the f out. It worked. Prob coincidence but fet and particularly failed fets are hard going so if you can I think it makes sense to book some time off somehow. Could you use holiday? Or do your work give time off for ivf appointments? Lots do these days.

At present, the UK government have extended sick self certification from 7 days to 28 days where you don't need a sick note to be off work until it's more than 28 days. This is a temporary thing (covid) but might be around for a couple of months.