ERA/EMMA/ALICE Testing Thread 3

[Janefx40]

Hello all,

This is a continuation of the ERA/EMMA/ALICE Testing thread.

New posters are welcome. On here you will find a group of women who are either doing these tests or have done them already and are further on the journey

This is the friendliest and most supportive group so feel free to join and post

Xxx

@Janefx40 oh good, I'm pleased to hear that. I know the Google rabbit hole well!

It's only meant to be a mini review, as I had one in December. We're not able to email consultants. Depending on the scan results I might just request they decide my treatment plan amongst themselves and just book my next FET in to speed it up. Or maybe I'll get a nice nurse who will agree to asking a dr to just give me a quick 5 min call. I do find the delays and limited contact options at my clinic infuriating!

@VenusStarr sending you lots of hugs, I hope the results come back quickly. I hope the phased return is going well. And well done on the yoga, that sounds great, I hope it's relaxing.

I haven't met with my specialist yet, maybe I'll book for the end of January. Just trying to get these extra tests sorted so I can have a productive meeting with her. But I already know what I want to push for, an unmedicated cycle, maybe even without progesterone and with hcg instead.
The Karyotype take 2 weeks so they will hopefully be back from this coming Monday. I need to decide whether to ask for an unmedicated ERA EMMA ALICE.

@seven201 I think mid cycle you just need to know how the lining looks and whether you've ovulated/about to ovulate.

@Janefx40 oh wow transfer next week, not long to go!

Thank you @seven201 they said 12 weeks for the results, my last one we tested took 10 but that was with me nagging and calling. I've surprised myself by not chasing yet, I'm scared to get them I think. I also think I need the break. We're not ttc naturally, so I've come off all my meds for now.
Sorry you're in a bit of limbo. 6 weeks is a long wait, is your clinic very busy? I booked a review with our ivf doctor last week and they offered me this Monday, but we've pushed it back to the end of the month.

I'm glad you're feeling reassured with timings @Janefx40 🤞 for Monday.

Thank you @Gardenlady543 I'm finding the yoga a challenge but just trying to keep turning up even if I'm not very good :)
I'm glad you've got a plan in mind, I hope when you meet your specialist she will support you.

I'm overdue my smear, so booked it for next week, but then read something that said you should wait 3 months after a miscarriage as it can affect the result, so the nurse is going to call me back tomorrow to check. I kind of wanted it out the way so if and when we get the go ahead to ttc, we can just go for it. Dreading it though xx

@VenusStarr you definitely don't need to be good to get something out of yoga, so much is down to the breathing. There are certain poses I don't do, e.g I rarely invert, I also try to take it easy when having treatment, so I can often be found in child's pose while everyone else in the class have trembling arms as they're trying to stay in plank for as long as possible.

I think most smears look for HPV as the initial test so not sure the miscarriage will have much of an impact. It's worth seeing what the nurse thinks though. I had mine at the end of an unsuccessful FET a few months ago, it's so tough scheduling this stuff in.

@Gardenlady543 I'm glad you have a plan in mind. Fingers crossed the tests come back soon.

@VenusStarr I completely get the not wanting to chase thing. It's mad how sometimes you are a mad chasing twice a day person and the next month going with the rather not know approach. You just have to go with whatever you feel I think.

I'm fine. Was just having a moan. My clinic just always has long waits for everything and after 2 years of it I'm grumpy. If I need a new egg collection round then I'll go somewhere without big waits.

After I had my dd I tried to go for a smear 6 weeks after and was told to come back in another 6 weeks I think.

The surgery have just called to push my smear back as it needs to be 12 weeks @seven201. I'm not sure why, like you said @Gardenlady543 it's not related to hpv. I hope we'll have our results by then and have an appointment with my immunologist to discuss next steps. I feel surprisingly calm about not trying at the moment.

I don't blame you for feeling grumpy at delays and waits @seven201 there's so much waiting.

Anyone want to have a moan about just being in this crappy situation still? I just stumbled across a thread called something like pregnant after ivf and opened it thinking it might be encouraging. Admittedly I didn't read for very long, but there seemed to be lots of women saying pregnant after second ivf, pregnant after 1st ivf, pregnant on 3rd transfer after a chemical and negative etc. And it just made me think back to two years ago when I was doing my first egg collection and hoping I'd be pregnant soon and that ivf would be the answer. It just all seems so unfair . I do know that their pregnancies won't all be successful, and I do hope they are for them. I know and appreciate how incredibly lucky I am to already have a dc, but that thread really punched me in the gut today.

Anyone want a moan? Anyone had a really annoying friend who wasn't really trying announce a pregnancy recently? Or a super insensitive comment? Let it out!

@seven201 it can be hard when we're stuck and others seem to just sail through it all. I still find it quite bizarre that some people can just have sex and get pregnant!! It's so far away from my own life that it doesn't even compute!

The worst one I had was someone who knew we'd miscarried our second child and that we were doing IVF who sent a film of their 1 year old in a t-shirt that said on the back "Big Sister in Jan 2022". I honestly felt like it slapped me in the face. It was just the sheer insensitivity of it.

Then on the other hand I had a friend yesterday send a very kind message telling me she was pregnant but being very sensitive about how that might make me feel. Which was kind but also made me cry!! So I guess they can't win

X

@Janefx40 it is bizarre. The two ends of the spectrum of unwanted pregnancies through to women who can try forever and still never get there. Its insane. Things should be jiggled around until everyone who wants a baby gets one. It's the whole not knowing what will happen thing that really screws with my mind.

Gosh your friend is so insensitive!! Urgh. I do agree, even when friends are sensitive, whatever they say is going to hurt, but at least they tried.

I have a friend who used to go on about how her sister just needed to relax and that's why she's not getting pregnant. This was throughout all my investigations and then some of my ivf. She's only stopped since the adhesion surgery. I don't know why I never fully challenged her on her bollocks and never knew if it was partially aimed at me. She was a right mess when she was trying for her first child and had clomid, but 2 and 3 were happy accidents .

@seven201 I am joining the "moaning party" and I can totally relate to how you feel.
This is my freaking 4th year TTC, with 2 failed FETs (chemical&BFN) plus countless months of trying naturally and failing (including this month because hey AF is about to come).
During those years I heard almost everything. I hate the phrase "Relax and it will happen". It makes my blood boils. Or " I know someone who got pregnant after they stopped trying". It just makes crazy.
A few months back during a dinner in 4 my good friend who knows my story told us laughing " I am 7 days late". It was like a slap on my face. I felt horrible for weeks, I was shocked by her lack of sensitivity and that's when I swore to myself that I wouldn't share anything to her in the future. Anyway, she wasn't pregnant after all.
I kept the most shocking comment last. My MIL (not knowing our issues, but it doesn't matter) told me: " when are you going to have kids? By the time you have them, they will start calling you grandma and grandpa. (I am soon to be 39). I was in total shock. I felt sick for weeks. It was the meanest thing ever...
Sometimes I am asking myself how I have managed to keep myself sane or for how long I will the strength to do this.

@Yuliaaa ugh I hate the agist thing too. It's not like most of us want to be old Mums...I think that people who haven't struggled just don't even think of infertility as an option.

My brother and his wife conceived relatively easily but they did have an early miscarriage first. He once said that in one way he was glad because it had made him more aware of the fragility of it all and that some people struggle. He said his friends who conceived straight away just didn't get it when other struggled. He's nice, my brother !

@Yuliaaa sorry to hear the crap you've had to put up with. I've done four years of it too, the new year means going into the 5th year ttc, which feels crap! I'm 39 1/2, so will be 40 minimum by the time a baby may arrive. I wanted kids late 20s/early 30s, but waited a bit for dh to be ready.

@Janefx40 you do have a good brother!

Lately I keep having people tell me everything happens for a reason. WTF.

Can I join in the moaning and unfairness of it all? 5 and half years trying to conceive #2.

5 failed ivf cycles, 10 embryos transferred, 2 of those donor egg transfers thinking that would be answer. Nope it wasn't. Tens of Thousands spent on failed treatment, tried clinics abroad and in the UK. Been to a sperm specialist, spent thousands on immunes treatment hoping that would solve the issue. BIG FAT NO.

Just about to take out a £20,000 loan to have a last ditch attempt at ivf / donor egg abroad with expensive immune treatment to support it. The clinic guarantees you a child or your money back. This has to be the last attempt.

Started this shite when DC has just turned 2. They'll be 8 this year.

Ah @greendress789 that is rough. I just hope we all get there in the end and make it worth it. We have spent so much money. At the beginning I thought it was worth it because if it didn't work at least I'd know we'd done everything we could. But at this point, I'm a bit terrified of having spent what we have and coming out with nothing.

Btw I'm aware there are a few of us on here who do have a DC already.

For those who don't have DC already, I do understand how different that is. I can remember only too well doing IVF for our first and I know I always felt a bit distanced from women who already had a child.

So just want to acknowledge that and say that I know it is doubly hard doing this all for your first and send a bit of extra love xxx

❤️ @Janefx40 thank you. It's a hard place to be.

@greendress789 I hope your new clinic is the one. I just had a missed miscarriage with full immune treatment, do you have a diagnosis? I've got overactive nk cells in pregnancy and was hopeful that we'd cracked it but the baby stopped growing at the sane point as a previous loss on no treatment, so feeling a bit lost.

The money we've had to spend to either get answers or to just have a chance of a baby is really unfair. I'm trying not to think about it too much.

I'm sorry @Yuliaaa we're 4 years ttc too ❤️ I hate the 'relax' advice. If I relax and get pregnant, I'm likely facing another miscarriage. It feels really isolating.

The unfairness of it all is heartbreaking xx

@greendress789 you definitely meet the criteria of being allowed to moan, a lot! While friends are spending their money on home improvements and holidays, your loan is going on yet more ivf. Totally unfair! I hope the donor and extra support is 'the one'. The decision to stop is an impossible one I think.

Transfer day!!!! I hope. So nervous that the embryo won't defrost - what if neither of them do and then it's all for nothing. I think I could cope with a BFN better than that....aarrrggh

Taking my diclofenac at 11 am then driving to London. Transfer not til 1pm but I want to get there early to drink water. Would be too uncomfy travelling with a full bladder

Eeeeeekkk

Oh and tested my trigger last night and this morning - just so I know where I was up to at the point of transfer. Very confusing. Last night with no hold was waaaay darker than this morning with FMU. I know it reduces over a further 12 hours but think that is a bit extreme.

@Janefx40 Good luck! I pray the embryo defrosts nicely and the transfer goes smoothly! Hugs!🍀

The very best of luck today and for the TWW @Janefx40 I hope the transfer goes smoothly. Will be keeping everything crossed for you.

Hope everyone else is doing ok xx

@Janefx40 eeek! Thinking of you and your little embryo today. I hope all goes smoothly.

Lots of love today @Janefx40 ❤️

I have had a surprise positive pregnancy test this morning. The line is definitely there but it's not dark. My period was due yesterday. I am feeling overwhelmed and not excited. Just expecting it to go like last time I guess.

Short summary of me for those who are new: naturally conceived dd 5 1/2 years ago, natural pregnancy 4 years ago - miscarriage just before 6 weeks. Clomid etc, surgery, 5 rounds of bfn ivf, generally lots of tests and drugs, surgery to remove big adhesion, pregnant month after - miscarriage just before 6 weeks, 2 months later this positive pregnancy test. Agh. If this one ends in a mc I think I'll try and see someone about recurrent miscarriage, as it will have been 3.

I think I will do a cyclogest now. Not sure if I should do 1 a day or 2 a day (I have 2 for ivf plus lentogest injections). Have just taken a blood sample (bought 2 in the Black Friday deals!) so I can monitor a bit.

Sorry for the rambling. It's helping me get my head straight.

@seven201 wow I'm so pleased for you. I totally understand why you are apprehensive but it's one more positive step forward Sending you lots of good wishes! I was always on 2 cyclogest even for natural cycles, also 75mg of aspirin which you may want to consider if you aren't taking that at the mo. Do some googling but there's lots of research around how it may reduce risk of mc. Happy news for a Monday :-) xxx