How long did you wait/try before starting IVF for a sibling (after IVF for the first)

[mouse1234567]

Hi all,
I am so grateful to say I had a baby in June 2020 after our second frozen transfer. I have endometriosis and my cycles vary in length a bit (I’m a bit polycystic -though I do seem to ovulate) so I suppose there is a small possibility I could get pregnant naturally-though obviously it didn’t happen the first time round. You hear about these miracle natural second babies, so I do think we need to try for a little while naturally-but I’m not very patient, we are getting older and are fortunate to have frozen embryos waiting.

We did actually do a transfer for a sibling in august this year -which was successful but then I had a late first trimester miscarriage. I felt we rushed into it a bit and prob should have tried naturally for longer so that is what we are doing now.

Really just wondered what other people did? How long the waited?! Or perhaps if they were one of the ones who got a natural second pregnancy?! I know it’s very personal but I am trying to work out when we call it quits and do our next frozen transfer and always find it interesting to hear from others in similar positions.

Thanks everyone!!

I guess it depends on a few factors? How old you are? How many embryos you have frozen and what quality they are? How big a gap you'd like? Would you be looking at doing more egg collections etc? I know loads of people who had naturally conceived babies either after a failed IVF transfer or after their first child being IVF so it is really really common

My first was an ICSI baby, conceived on my second fresh cycle- I didn’t have embryos from either cycle to freeze, so none in the freezer. We TTC for 4 years in total.

We tried naturally during lockdown (and on the waiting list for the clinic again) when DD was 2.5, and I conceived fraternal twins aged 40 within a couple of cycles. So I suppose we are one of those success stories. Both boys are healthy and good weights for twins.

We had motility issues on DH’s side and I was a poor responder to stims. So there was a chance of conceiving naturally, albeit small given our history and age.

The age gap of mine is 3 years 4 months which I think is a good gap.

We've been thinking about this after having our first via IVF in August. We don't have any embryos on ice so have decided to do a freeze all cycle next year to hopefully create some embryos while I'm still 'young' 😂 we don't think we'll want to try for a sibling for 2-3 years and have agreed we will try naturally for 6 months first before doing an FET (assuming we are able to get some embryos to freeze). I've found it helpful having a plan even at this early stage. The only thing I feel unsure about is the prospect of having embryos we don't use if by some miracle we conceive naturally, but I guess this would be the same if we had multiple embryos and it worked first go so I will just have to get over it!

We also have DS born in June 2020 from our first IVF cycle. We used contraception until he turned one but haven’t since. We’re really on the fence about having another so we’re leaving it up to nature for now. We have already agreed we wouldn’t do a fresh cycle but we do have 3 blasts frozen.

I had twins earlier this year and have 2 top grade blastocysts still frozen - obviously having twins is financially hard so we would need to wait until any maternity leave worked with them getting 30 hours childcare - we wouldn't do anymore egg collections, I did 5 in 18 months and can't face anymore. I dont think my DH is on board with doing another transfer (we have an older child as well as the twins) but I feel very attached to the 2 we have frozen (had many miscarriages and ectopics before the twins) so I'd like to give them a chance - even if they don't work at least I've given them a chance - I just can't destroy them. I wouldn't want to be doing a transfer any older than aged 40 though - just a personal preference really

I also had DS in June 2020, first FET. I had 9 blasts remaining. For many reasons, I decided 2 years was a good age gap and that's what we aimed for. I'm 10+1 now and due July 2022.

We didn't even try naturally. I breastfed (still am actually, a point I had to lie to my clinic about!) so my periods didn't come back for ages, so we didnt have long to try with time running out to get the age gap I wanted. We just went straight for a FET.

I would also feel terrible about the frosties we have if I just abandoned them, though that's extremely likely anyway 😔. I know it's a good problem to have but it's not pleasant to think about at all.

Finally, my embryos were created when I'd just turned 36. I'm 38 now. I know that's not too old at all, but the chances of chromosomal issues have increased, so that's a factor too.

We have thought about having a third with another 2 year age gap (so I'd be 40), but whilst we haven't ruled it out entirely, I think pregnancy is really hard on me physically so I'm not sure I can do it again.

Thanks everyone for your replies -it’s really interesting reading them all. It highlights to me that it’s so personal for everyone and depends on so many factors! I have a meeting with our consultant in a few weeks and will ask him what he think a fair time for trying naturally is. I just get so impatient and know it’s so unlikely to work, but of course it would save a lot of money and stress if we were one of the lucky ones who managed it! I feel like I have to give it a bit of a chance but let’s see how long I last! Trying to conceive again just feels a bit like going back there to that horrible place of stress doesn’t it!! Good luck everyone!

@mouse1234567 I know what you mean about returning to ttc again. When my mums group started announcing their second pregnancies it brought back those old feelings. I’d felt like a normal mum for a while and then it was back to feeling infertile.

There were 3 reasons we tried naturally- firstly, clinics had only just reopened after the lockdown and there were long waiting lists. Secondly, we had a chance of natural conception. Thirdly, I had no embryos in the freezer so it would have meant going through all the injections/appointments/egg retrieval all over again.

I don’t know what decision I’d have made if I had embryos in the freezer and no delays to treatment.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

DD was born March 19 after 5 years TTC and a round of IVF. We didn't use contraception after her birth as didn't think we needed to. I wanted to do a FET just after her 1st birthday but lockdown delayed us. I had a baseline scan booked for Oct 2020 to get the ball rolling for a FET and my period was late and I was worried I'd have to cancel the scan as it needed to be on a certain day of my cycle so I took a pregnancy test as sods law whenever you POAS you always start your period within a day but to my great surprise the test was a BFP and DS was born in June. The age gap is a great one if you pay for childcare as by the time DS starts DD will get her 30 free hours.

I did Ivf due to low ovarian reserve so a different reason to you. It worked first time so we were very lucky. After ds was born I didn’t bother with contraception but it periods didn’t come back for 8 months anyway due to breastfeeding. As soon as I had my first period I thought we’d better start trying properly. I presumed it would take years to conceive again and had already started looking into ivf.

4 weeks later I had no period - I presumed it waac something to do with my cycles stabilising after breastfeeding. I decided to do a test for a laugh really - but the second live was immediate and strong.

There are 16 months between by two boys so clearly it’s possible. Good luck.

“Second line” sorry so many typos!

Trying naturally after having a baby in summer (after 5 years TTC and multiple IVFs) although highly unlikely with almost non existent egg reserve. No frosties either so not worth doing more IVF. Some of these stories give me a little hope though

2 years. DC now 7. Still waiting for number 2 to arrive 😢

Started in March following baby born previous June. Was earlier than we felt we might wait but we then had 5 failed transfers, had to do a new round of stims (and I was 2 years older than the previous round). We were glad we hadn't waited any longer. Eventually a transfer worked and I'm now pregnant, due date will be 24-25 months after dc1 which is a very "normal" / planned looking age gap that conceals the relatively difficult time we had conceiving the second.