What is it with all the photo shoots and why send them to me?!

[NorthSouthcatlady]

I woke up this morning to a photo shoot of a friends newish nephew and very new niece. Yeah thanks. I’m literally a few weeks into the final transfer, from our 2nd cycle of IVF failing. Today l have the 2nd round interview for a job l quite want. A few months back l was going to a wedding, friend 2 takes it upon herself to send us a photo shoot of her 2 children as l was getting ready. Both friends knew we have fertility problems and that IVF is getting us nowhere. Genuinely perplexed about why people think l want to see these photo shoots under these circumstances. They always seem to do them on significant days. Friend 1 lm resisting the urge to text back a smart arse reply, along the lines of l wish that was what 5 minutes of trying looked like for me! Her SIL thought she had fertility issues as they didn’t conceive in 2 minutes . Friend 2 l haven’t bothered to speak to since

OMG I feel your pain on this. My first round of IVF ended in miscarriage and in the aftermath my SIL & BIL bombarded me with photos of their kids! Even one with our other niece and nephew of “All four cousins together” 😡.

The only thing I can assume is, as they know you want kids people think you will ‘like’ seeing pics of other peoples.
I’ve since realised that no matter how much you explain to people how difficult IVF is, some of them just never actually get it and tbh I’ve given up trying now with certain people.

Depending on your relationship, you could reply and try to explain how hurtful you find it but I totally agree that a bit of bloody common sense wouldn’t go amiss with people like this!

Good luck for you job interview today and your transfer!

Something similar happened to me. My friend kept showing baby pics of people I didn't care about or even know. After my failed second transfer I told her I don't want to see or hear anything related to babies. I honestly don't understand why on earth would you do that especially when you know what the other person is going through.
Perhaps you could tell her to stop because it hurts.
Good luck with everything! 🍀

@RiverRiot that sounds super unhelpful and tactless by your SIL and BIL. With fertility issues it feels like people can say what they like and if you challenge them you’re being touchy / sensitive etc

Transfer failed and freezer is now empty. Let’s see how the interview goes, l am doing a presentation so l need all the luck!

Oh I’m so sorry @NorthSouthcatlady! I read it as you were having your transfer. That’s so bloody tough.

Yep people do say the most ridiculous and hurtful things to us infertiles, I mean I have such a long list now it’s a joke. Part of the reason I’ve backed away from people who refuse to at least try and understand.

Sending all the luck with the job and I wish you absolutely every success in your journey going forward.

I totally understand your anger. I hate when people rubbing their kids to other people's faces... I hate it even when I was much younger and single. Why would I need 10000 pictures of random babies on my phone like a pedo 🙄

One friend of mine asked me this year while burping his baby "Do you guys wanna have kids?" I really wanted to scream to his face!!
I am now 35, DH is 36. We have been happily together for 5 years. No financial issues. Get a hint m.ron! Clearly we cannot have kids!

I shared our ICSI journey only with close friends and family so far and they are very understanding. I cannot even imagine how you feel! Sharing this with friends/family and receiving baby pictures all the time. I think it is very insensitive. No wonder we are getting so antisocial day by day... I find relief only in this forum honestly...