Losing weight for IVF

[Hol87]

Starting a new thread for people trying to lose weight for IVF :)

@Hol87hello! Hope you don’t mind me joining? I have been ttc for just over a year, and have just started the process of having tests. I am not ovulating. This could be due to the recent 3 stone weight gain, so I’m in the process of trying losing weight. I’m at the early stages of the process, so not sure what the next options may be, but currently waiting for tests for both myself and husband!

Hi, I am also losing weight for fertility/ potential ICSI/IVF reasons. Have you been told a particular BMI to aim for?

Hi all, hope you don't mind me joining. DP and I have been ttc for 2 years. He's recently been diagnosed with azoospermia (no sperm) so going for ICSI either with Surgical sperm retrieval or donor sperm. Since the news DP is azoospermic, the weight has just piled on, from just feeling down and eating rubbish! I'd like to lose 2 stone before I start ivf.

Hello, I would like to join. Not necessarily sure it will be IVF but about to start with NHS fertility clinics. Need to lose a couple of stone.

Nice to connect with others in a similar position. I am 33 years old. My partner and I have been TTC for two years with no pregnancy at all during that time. I have irregular periods (6 weeks to 3 months) and a shorter luteal period (typically around 10 days). I've had a private assessment which could not find any reason for my issues, bloods taken during my period were normal and ovaries appeared fine. We made a referral through our GP in August and heard back at the end of November that they would not continue with the referral because of my weight. My current BMI is 35, I have lost almost 3 stone and I have about another 3 stone to lose. I am heartbroken and emotionally shattered. To add to the complications, due to issues with my husband, we are relying on home insemination. I have almost given up hope and not even bothering to take tests anymore as it just sets me up for disappointment. I feel so guilty that our failure to conceive is my fault but getting to the weight I need to be seems impossible. Looking forward to hearing everyone else's experiences. Sending hope and love to you all x

@clhsgirl not that it helps at all but I could have written your post with the exception that we've got a few more answers than you do.
I'm 31, been TTC 2.5 years - through self insemination due to issues with DH 'finishing'. I know loads of people who have conceived this way (through a thread on MN) so I know it works. I've got PCOS so cycles range from 4 weeks to 2 months+. DH has got male factor issues, terrible morphology and just about everything else. I've lost 3 stone so far, BMI at 37. I've got another 3-4 stone to lose. GP won't do fertility referral until I'm below BMI 35 and I'm 12ish pounds away from that and IVF not an option until below 30. Feel exactly the same as you I suppose with the exception that I found out middle of last year that it isn't just 'my fault'. It absolutely isn't anyone's fault, so try hard not to blame yourself. It's so hard. What was your BMI when they refused to continue with your referral if you don't mind me asking?

@WeightlossKin Thank you so much for your reply, I can't believe how similar our stories are. As horrible as it is that we're both in this position, it is good to know you're not alone. Our saving grace is that my husband's sperm are in good condition, he had hodgkins lymphoma in his early twenties so for a while we didn't know if the cancer or chemo would have affected that and thank God it's okay. My BMI was between 37 and 38 at the time of my referral. I was told to return when it was at 35 but after the rejection I changed CCGs (had meant to change doctors for a couple of years since we moved) as the new one offers 2 cycles of ivf instead of one. I've since found out that I need a BMI of 30 for 6 months before being assessed although I will make an appointment with my GP soon to verify this as I'm only going off information that a friend of mine found.

How did you change CCG @clhsgirl, did you move house?

It's interesting that you need a certain BMI for a number of months, yikes!

Oh that must be such a relief with that history @clhsgirl at least there are no sperm worries for you both - there's only so much in life that people can go through and it's already a bit stacked against us with everything else! My husband is on medication that can cause fertility issues so we should have been prepared for our outcome really! That's fab that your new ccg offers more chances. I'd definitely check that six months at BMI 30 though, I've literally never heard anywhere else that says that? That would be slightly unfair 🙁 MAYBE I could see the logic in being in and around 30 for six months prior to IVF (but not really) but not before even being assessed? What would the point be I wonder!

Sorry, didn't mean to ignore everyone else! I'm on another weight loss IVF thread so didn't want to double up but can't help myself obviously 😂

@Decaffe I think I've said in my lengthy replies but I need BMI 35 before my GP can do a referral and below 30 to qualify for NHS IVF.

@Decaffe Yes we moved house two years ago but never got around to changing GPs before covid hit. When I found out that the CCG for our new area offered 2 cycles instead of 1 it seemed like the best thing to do. Just gotta get to the point where we can make it happen.

@WeightlossKin I agree, it seems really unfair. The 6 months before ivf thing is definitely true as I've read that myself. I didn't have the heart to check the document my friend sent me regarding the BMI of 30 before assessment though so will definitely check that with the GP.

@clhsgirl that just feels SO mean. I wonder what their justification is for that. I want to see the science based evidence for that decision they've made. 🙁 I'm sorry. It's like you have to prove you deserve it or something. I hate it.

@WeightlossKin and @Decaffe How are you guys doing?

I'm getting there slowly! Hoping to be at referral weight by the end of February but that would rely on me losing 2lb for the next three weeks 🤞🤞 I've been really stressed and upset about baby announcements this week but have bounced back.
How are you getting on @clhsgirl? Thank you for checking in.
Hope everyone else is getting on okay too.

@WeightlossKin My loss has slowed and gone back the other way the last week because I decided to let go for my birthday. We've also been dealing with a few baby announcements too, so hard when you want to be so happy for those around you but have to hide the pain. I've started becoming more vocal about what we're going through (obviously not all the details) so friends and family are becoming aware and finding this helpful. I ovulated at the beginning of last week and we gave it a good shot around that time... but not feeling that hopeful to be honest. I have in my head that I'll 'just know' when it happens but feeling the same as every other time. Took a test yesterday (stupid) which if course was negative, no more tests now for this cycle! How wonderful that you're so close! I'm rooting for you! 🥰

Happy belated birthday!! 🎈🎂

My weight loss stalled for 10 weeks @clhsgirl but is on the move again now (touch wood).
A little gain around your birthday is to be expected and isn't the end of the world 😊 try to keep going and not let the slowed weight loss throw your motivation off. It's so hard to stay on track when you're not seeing the results you deserve.
Pregnancy announcements are the hardest. I've stopped hiding my pain almost entirely to be honest, I've lost the strength to do that. I hope you find comfort in telling a few people what's going on and that they're supportive.
Fingers crossed for your tww, or what's left of it. I really don't believe you can wake up and just know one day... But only because I've been so convinced I've been pregnant so many cycles before and I just don't believe I'll ever feel pregnant even when I am 😂
I'm rooting for you too, how has your week been so far? Have you managed to get back on track since your birthday?

@WeightlossKin Thank you for your words, I needed them. Yesterday I hit an all-time low, woke up to my period (10-11dpo, I'm trying to lengthen my luteal as I'm sure this is part of the issue) managed to get through the day, collapsed at home and received a lovely whatsapp message whatsapp from my SIL with the first image of my new niece or nephew. I knew it was coming but the timing wasn't great. I'm so excited to be an auntie and so happy for my SIL and BIL as it took them three rounds of NHS IVF to get there, but seeing that little bean on the screen hurt nonetheless. Not going to lie, I felt like saying to my husband that I wanted to pack it all in last night. It feels like an insurmountable challenge and I'm so tired... but I woke up today and have squashed the pain away somewhere deep inside so it can't get at me for now. That being said, I'm not going to a family event today as I know they'll be announcing and that's just a step too far at the moment for me.

Haven't yet managed to get back on track after the birthday... in fact I've well an truly fallen off the wagon but luckily the scales haven't swayed too far all things considered. I'm a teacher and off school this week for half term so this week is going to be a complete reset!

My heart really goes out to you. I know exactly how you feel. That voice that says it's something you can't achieve and you'll never get to. It creeps in for me too , I have been saying to my husband all day that I don't want to weigh myself tomorrow as I'm sure I've not lost anything and what does it matter anyway?! But it's all about not giving in to that voice and shaking it off as much as you can. It's so hard with the addition of not being able to try 'traditionally'.
What have you been trying to lengthen your luteal phase?

Ugh I bet that was heartbreaking to see that's WhatsApp. Really positive that they've successfully had an IVF baby and they've been through that pain to get there. That's what we're aiming for and might be possible to reframe beautiful nephew into some extra motivation and inspiration?

Well done for deciding not to go to your family event and giving your heart a bit of protection. I've got a baby shower to go to today and wish I'd managed to do the same for myself. It's so hard.

It's never too late to pick yourself up and get back on the wagon 😊 the sooner you do that the more positive you'll feel ❤️ and it's great you've got a bit of a week off ahead to give you chance to do that.