Using an egg donor

[LovesFood1987]

I have recently had results showing low AMH and high FSH (I'm 31, was 27 when we started trying for our family).

We've been told to consider our options including donor eggs.

Initially in my mind it was an instant no but I have slowly come round to the idea as possibly our only hope 😢

Does anyone have any thoughts/experience on donor eggs? I have no idea what to think atm tbh!

Hi @LovesFood1987 sorry you are having such a tough time. Other people with better experience will be along soon I’m sure, however I thought I would share our experience.

I have had five fresh rounds of IVF (and more transfers on top). Never got last 7 weeks of pregnancy. We therefore decided my wife would try instead. I was apprehensive as to how I would feel about a child that was not biologically mine, if I’m honest. Anyway, it worked first time and our daughter is now four months old. I could not love her more, and the fact that we are not biologically related is honestly totally irrelevant.

Of course there is the other issue of the biological connection for the child - in our situation it’s donor sperm with my wife’s egg, so we have similar questions to navigate in the future. I think it’s important to be clear what you would share, say etc with your child before you get into it, to be sure you set yourself up for success (eg a donor who is willing to be contacted v going overseas and using an anonymous one). I have very strong views on this but realise others feel differently so it’s important to explore.

Wishing you lots of luck.

Personally for me you haven't tried IVF yet so you don't actually know how successful or
Not it will be? Lots of women with low AMH conceive with their own eggs. Have a look at clinics that specialise in low AMH like Create - if you don't try you don't know? I personally find it a bit unethical how clinics jump to donor eggs - however in fairness and being completely open I have personal moral and ethical objections to use of donors so that does affect the advice I would give

Will you get funding for NHS rounds? (with own eggs) If so, I’d be inclined to try your own eggs first. I’ve no issue with donor eggs, but think I’d like a couple goes with my own just to see how I respond, if finances permit, as I know donor eggs are expensive, so saving up for them will be a factor.

I am currently in the 2ww with a donor egg. I had a grade A embryo transfered last Wednesday and have 2 more frozen. I also have low AMH. We did try IVF first but I had a really poor response. Which led to no embryos to transfer. Like the previous poster said you never know how you will respond until you try. And I am happy we did try first.

But I can honestly say I am so happy with our choice to go the donor route now. And hoping its works for us. If you have any questions I am happy to try to answer

@LovesFood1987 I also have low AMH and am thinking about donor eggs, if you have Instagram check out @definingmum she has 3 girls who are egg donor conceived and she posts lots of interesting content about it. She also started a Donor parent platform called Paths to Parenthub that might be of use.

I think low AMH on its own might not automatically mean donor eggs, especially as your so young, but high FSH could be tricky. My AMH was too low to qualify for NHS IVF funding, we did IVF and got 1 blast which failed to implant, we then found out my husband has high DNA frag so we're investigating this now. Worth getting the sperm fully checked before you go down the donor egg route x

Depending upon your results, it might be worthwhile to have a consultation with a clinic specialising in working with women with low AMH. They could advise whether they think it might be worth trying with your own eggs first.

Donor conception can be a big thing to get your head round, and I think everyone has to make their own decision about whether it's right for their family. There's a separate board on Donor Conception so people there might be able to answer questions and help you come to a decision.

I think a lot of doctors jump to donor eggs for low amh. My amh is very low ( have three follicles) had ivf and now in third trimester. Try everything with your own eggs first, money permitting