Infertility vs wedding

[2021cath]

Hi

I'm looking for some advice, words of wisdom or people who have been through similar.

Me and my partner have recently been referred for fertility investigations so waiting for our initial appointment.

We are in a quandary as we were meant to get married in 2020 but the pandemic hit fast forward we are now unsure with the fertility aspect looming whether to proceed with the wedding for March 2022 or postpone again with our referral going in and so many unknowns with if we'll get pregnant but then we've paused our wedding for so long.

Any help or guidance would be so appreciated.

I guess the biggest question is if you are having to pay for IVF or eligible on the NHS so is there a financial aspect?

Also your age?

Wait list are very long in some areas so you may not get an appointment until after March 2022 and then then can be several months of scans, tests etc before you even get on the wait list (this is NHS by the way)

Given that the weddings only March I'd do that fjrst. Honestly fertility treatment is all consuming - enjoy your wedding first before jumping into fertility

I agree if it's NHS you're unlikely to be starting any treatment before March, often for the initial appointment there will be a wait and then there are generally quite a few tests that need to be done first that you will also need to wait for. Might be worth checking the waiting list times wherever you've been referred.
If it's private obviously a wedding and fertility treatment will both affect finances but you will know better than us about your financial situation! X

Thank you, age 34 nearing 35 in March. Wedding will be March- April depending on registra.

We are nhs referred told us about 6 weeks for a telephone appointment then they'll decide what to do treatment plan wise we have no idea what to expect as it's our first.

Had initial bloods at doctors but that's all at the moment x

I wouldn't postpone the wedding. Enjoy it! I wouldn't postpone your ivf at this stage either. You'll get to a stage where you've done all the tests, filled in the forms, and you're ready to call them on day 1 of your cycle to begin properly. If at that stage you need an extra month, you can always say so, but as PPs have said, that may not be necessary at all.

I would carry on with both and see what happens. Life is short and nothing is guaranteed. If you end up pregnant for your wedding what a lovely gift, if you don’t you will be well underway with your fertility journey and can enjoy your wedding not pregnant.

Just go with the flow and see what happens.

Thank you all so much really helped put things into perspective x

I agree to go for it. but maybe consider finances if it is going to be a big wedding. If nhs fertility treatment doesnt work you may have to go private which is very expensive so leave some budget back for that x

Thank you :) yes good point I didnt think of that. We are having a small wedding so keeping costs down luckily.

Is it quite regular that people go private after a time with nhs? I've never considered this nor whether we'd even be eligible on the NHS just kind of assumed we would. So much to learn it would seem x

NHS waiting times are just a bit rubbish, and time is precious with fertility (generally most say 35 and under is the cut off before things start changing fertility/egg quality wise so youre at a good point to get in there and get started). I’m lucky enough to be in a financial position where I have enough savings for two private cycles. I called my clinic in September and having my EC this week so pretty speedy. Money talks unfortunately.

Definitely enquire and try with the NHS first (no point paying if you can get it for free!) but they sometimes have strict criteria and make you wait a long time to get a first appointment so just be prepared and decide if youre willing to wait for the nhs (again this is finances dependent -fertility treatment is ridiculously expensive!).

As far as your wedding versus treatment, as above I’d just go for both at the same time and let the chips fall where they may! If fertility treatment has taught us anything it’s that you can’t plan these things and time is precious! Best of luck

Thank you x