I'm 37 with new pcos diagnosis and no luck getting pregnant naturally. Realistically is it time I accepted that my hopes of a baby is unrealistic?

[KBMG]

I'm 38. My partner 42 neither of us have had children. I was pregnant at 26 years old but had a miscarriage at 15 weeks. I'm the proud auntie of 7 gorgeous nieces and nephews and he's a brilliant uncle. He'd be the most perfect father but it's just not happening for us. We have been trying without any luck for a long time. My period now is on a 24 day cycle and lasts only for three days. I so wish I'd never left it so late but it took me that long to meet my partner.

My dr just called to say my hormone blood test strongly indicates pcos and organised a scan to confirm. I looked up the symptoms. It explains the hair growth on my neck and chin that I've been trying to hide and mortified about. I have been shaving and waxing. I no longer feel like a woman.

Next step is ovulation test and a scan and seminal fluid test for my partner then we can see if we can be referred for ivf. I read about long waiting lists and less than 20% chance. My sisters are excited saying they think I'll have twins and they've no doubt it'll happen for us. And one sister compared it to the six months it took her to get pregnant with her third. I know they're trying to cheer me up and make me feel positive and be encouraging but I'm scared to be optimistic.

I'm scared I'm too old and with pcos diagnosis I think my chances are too low. I'll obviously continue to try. But I feel depressed and negative. I think it's self protection in a way. Am I being too negative or just realistic? Has anyone been my age with pcos and conceived? Our ccg will fund only one round and we can't afford to pay private. I feel like I'm grieving already. Am I being negative or realistic. Does anyone know if we have a good chance? I can't stand anymore blind false hope like I had before but don't want to be so negative and depressed as I haven't given up. My head is just a mess. I'm not even sure what I'm asking. I've never wanted something so much in my life. Is it normal I feel heartbroken already? x

I'd been diagnosed with PCOS and now I'm 20 weeks pregnant with my first/likely only baby at age 40 - I won't lie and say it might not be a long and difficult road but can happen. I started the process when I was only slightly younger than you and it's taken almost 3 years and multiple failed IUI's and 2 cycles of IVF to get this far (and I still can't really believe I finally got lucky and am terrified of loss, hence why I'm not sleeping well and still checking the infertility board!).

Assuming your husbands sperm test is okay, how good your chances are of IVF succeeding won't just depend on your age and the PCOS - they will do other tests including AMH and FSH blood tests to try to determine your egg reserve/quality. You could be lucky and get above average results for your age, which might mean IVF stands a good chance of working with the right medication protocol. I got below average results for mine which could also be why it took so long for me to conceive/get that lucky eupliod embryo - not just the PCOS or other unknown factors.

Depending on your CCG and chosen clinic sometimes you can be expedited up the IVF waiting list due your age (because statistically chances drop even further after age 40 so few CCG's will fund after that age or sometimes even younger - you need to check what the age limit is for yours).

Good luck!

Ah, sorry - missed that your CCG will only fund one round (but that at least you are eligible for funding). I would still go for it - I can't remember re: PCOS or what age they were, but there are definitely people on these boards who said they were successful on their first go at IVF. At least you will know that you tried everything you could.

Sorry to hear how difficult things have been for you OP. I think fertility treatment takes a lot out of us in many ways, but especially emotionally. I'm 18 months in and almost 36 now. I was looking back at photos from me before all this and it made me realise how much my self esteem has taken a knock with all this.

Your 20% success rate, this I think is per transfer rather than totally. If you did IVF they'd give you meds to get you to produce a lot of eggs, take and fertilize as many as they can then grow as many as they can to blastocyst stage, then transfer them back one at a time. So for each transfer you maybe have 20% chance but then you might get 3 or so transfers per collection. And you can obviously keep going. I've been looking at this calculator: w3.abdn.ac.uk/clsm/SARTIVF/tool/ivf1. You'll probably find your chances are a lot higher than 20%

With PCOS your certainly not alone! Many people on here have it. If you do have PCOS you might not be ovulating even if you are having periods (they might have checked though of you've had your progesterone tested) and then you might be given drugs to help you ovulate or to help lengthen your cycles. I have 3 day periods too and I'm 35. But the doctor doesn't seem to be concerned. My lining is a good thickness. I think our periods can just shorten as we age. But I think it also depends how you count each day (eg, is starting AF at 9pm day one or do you count from the day after)

"Next step is ovulation test and a scan and seminal fluid test for my partner then we can see if we can be referred for ivf".

You should be referred to a subfertility unit and asap rather than having such tests done beforehand by someone like a GP. These tests can and should be repeated in any event, not just done one time.
You need a diagnosis first and foremost and both of you should be tested in tandem.

It may come to pass that you won't need IVF at all particularly if there are no male factor issues. The fertility clinicians you see may decide to try treatment options like injectible drugs, clomid and or ovarian diathermy surgery. IVF should only be tried when all other treatment options have failed. IVF and PCOS can be uneasy bedfellows because of the risks of ovarian hyperstimulation.

Have a read of Verity's website as well:-

www.verity-pcos.org.uk/