NHS - IVF delay possible?

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Hi all,

After completing all the tests going, and losing our paperwork twice, me and my future DH are finally due to have our consultation at the fertility clinic on November 16th! Please bear with me while I give you some background on this.

We started TTC after Christmas 2020 and after some research on the cryptorchidism surgery my partner had as a child I realised he needed to get a sperm test ASAP. He went on to have this in April due to difficulties getting GP appointments and it took until May to get the results, then a repeat test for June results.
He has a very low sperm count and low motility but normal form and have been told he will need "assistance" for us to conceive.
At the time of my laparoscopy and excision surgery in Jan 2019, I was confirmed to have stage 3 endometriosis with lesions, fibroids and complex dermoid cysts. These were all removed (except fibroids) but have continued to suffer as us endo warriors do. I was devastated when I was referred for this surgery in September 2018 because I knew the implications it could have on pregnancy and I was already so wanting a child and would get so broody it would bring me to tears.

We booked our original wedding date just before the pandemic started for April 2021, and in Christmas 2020 decided to postpone this until October 2022 as this was the only postponement date available in the school holidays (my partner is a teacher). Our wedding (although it won't be huge 70 guests and around 10 children) and future marriage is something also really important to us both after being together for most of 12+ years now, many of which we lived 200+ miles apart. We have been in the same city now for almost 4 years and have made a home together, waiting and ready for our next chapter together as husband and wife/daddy and mummy.

With our NHS consultation coming up, I was looking into timelines for consultation to end of IVF cycle. I obviously don't know for sure yet, but I assume (and hope) that we will be offered ICSI and IVF. If the timeline is straightforward from the November consultation, and we were fortunate enough to be successful first time round, baby would potentially be due Sep/Oct 2022.

I know to many this doesn't sound like an issue. The important thing is reaching that successful conception and completely understand the natural response is we just go with it and make it work if that's the case and that we would finally have our desperately wanted child, but I am so nervous about any complications and affect on the wedding as we are contractually unable to make any further changes to the date and we would lose thousands of pounds which we will have been saving for by ourselves for a few years.

I was wondering if it is possible in your experience to have any control over when you start the IVF cycle once you are in the system? Even if it was just by a month or two?
Or, if you have ended up in a similar situation and delivered near to your wedding date?

Any sharing of experience or advice would be really appreciated.

Much love to all going through infertility. The word HOPE has never meant more.

I just want to add that I had a dye test during surgery in 2019 and my tubes were clear.
I reduced caffeine and alcohol to the point I barely ever have them, been taking supplements since November 2020 and haven't smoked ( I used to be on and off and never a heavy smoker) for over a year when I picked up the habit again during lockdown due to stress.
I have been tracking my periods for years and have been tracking my temperature and ovulation since January 2021.
If there is anything else anyone thinks I need to be doing or any questions I should ask at the consultation please tell me! I am trying to be as prepared as possible.

Oh! And the reason we delayed ttc was because it took a year to recover from surgery, I started a new job and wanted to pass probation for job security and mat leave for any babies which was 1 year to complete for my role.
So timeline is:
+Sep 2018 referred for laparoscopy
+Jan 2019 lap and excision - stage 3 endo confirmed
+Dec 2019 - started new job with 1 year probation to complete
+Start of 2020 - booked wedding
+Nov 2020 - started ttc supplements
+Dec 2020 - passed probation
+Dec 2020 - postponed wedding
+Jan 2021 - started ttc
+April 2021 - first semen analysis and original wedding date
+May 2021 - Second semen analysis
+June 2021 - Completed everything for fertility referral
+Nov 2021 - first consultation at fertility clinic
+Oct 2022 - Postponed wedding date

For some reason the app version has changed the emojis I put on my original post (flowers and bear) to two gin bottles? Is this a glitch with the app?

We have spent the last year jumping through the NHS loops to get an ivf referral. We're finally at the stage where the clinic have told us to call them on the first day of my cycle in January.

We have a holiday booked at the end of Jan which has been moved back from 2020 due to covid, so they have agreed that we can call when my Feb cycle starts instead 😊
Once you're referred to a clinic, you deal directly with them and (in our experience) they are quite relaxed about when you start treatment.

I had in my head when we were referred in August with no wait times, that we could get started in October/November but it's taken a little longer than I thought so you might find you have a small delay to getting started. Added to that if you need a freeze all cycle then that adds another couple of months on to the process meaning you'd be a few months pregnant for the wedding but not nearing 9 months.

So many variables that affect how far along you'd be by the wedding, it's hard work having no control over it! Congratulations though, hopefully by 2023 you'll be mummy and wife 😊

Firstly and most importantly, I see flowers and a Teddy 😂

Delaying would be fine IME based on my clinic. I'd be surprised if that's an issue, but I'm sure you'll ask at your consultation and get a concrete answer.

I know you've said you've completed everything - does this include a scan to check your ovaries and womb, AFC, and had a blood test? Even if everything is done, with an initial consultation in November, treatment would have to move very quickly for you to be due by your wedding date, so it may not be an issue. Would you mind being quite pregnant for your wedding?

Yes you do have control over when you start once you are in the system.

Once you've had all the assessments you need and are approved for treatment, there is a time frame you have to start within - 6 months or a year I think - possibly depending on the clinic.

So don't worry, just carry on with your assessments. They are quite understanding about having to work this around your life. But you wouldn't be able to delay it for years, because by then the assessments would be outdated and need doing again.

Good luck, we've had similar wedding/ IVF/ Covid woes and it's not fun!

I see flowers and a bear as well 😂😂🤣
Unfortunetely we have no control over ttc journey... Good luck!