OAT sperm with 0 moving. Success stories please... heartbroken

[Gem0912]

Hi everyone

Myself and my husband have been TTC for 2 years with no success. We've recently had initial tests done and yesterday we found out my husbands sperm analysis was not good news. He has OAT sperm (where numbers, movement and morphology are below normal). Actually none of his sperm were moving and the morphology was really low. We've been told we will go onto IVF most likely with ICSI. We need to have more tests in 3 months, husband has another sperm analysis and I have more blood work and an internal scan. We are absolutely heartbroken and terrified that we're putting all of our faith into IVF which may not work and we'll be left without any options. We are hoping for a little pick me up with some success stories from people in similar scenarios if anyone would like to share or chat if you're in the same situation?

Didn't want to read and run, sorry to hear your news.
DP and I are in a similar situation. DP has just been diagnosed with azoospermia (no sperm in semen). Currently undergoing tests to find out cause and see if he can have sperm retrieval surgery. If so it will be IVF with ICSI. Depending on what type of azoospermia will decide whether nhs fund or not.
We are heartbroken too that it's probably never going to happen naturally and IVF will be difficult and potentially very expensive, so understand how you're feeling right now.
Here if you want to chat x

Hi @WhiskeyInTheJar33
Thanks for the reply! I'm sorry to hear about your struggles. I will keep everything crossed that you qualify for NHS funding.
I've stopped crying about it, I had a good couple of days and my eyes have dried up. My parents knew we were having trouble and going for tests and we told them last night that we wouldn't conceive naturally and that we were going for IVF. They both cried for us (trying to hide it) but I surprised myself by not crying. I'm going to try to be positive.
Do any of your family know?

@Gem0912 I cried for a good 48hrs! And took some time off work to process everything! Our immediate families know and close friends too. I have found talking to people helpful although a lot of them are not quite sure what to say. I can now talk about it without crying!

Also trying to stay positive. It's probably best to take one step at a time and not think too far ahead into the future. Although in the back of my mind I feel like my body clock is ticking! With IVF they talk about 35 and your eggs not being as good. I'm 33 nearly (DP 30) so just want to get going with it! What about you?

DP and I have had a good talk about all our options and are on the same page. Our relationship is much stronger since this. I hope he keeps talking and not bottle things up. He feels less of a man because of this diagnosis. How's your husband doing?

@WhiskeyInTheJar33
It's good you've got so many people to talk to. Outside of our parents only my closest friend knows. We do have a couple who we're really close with who did know we were TTC as they were also TTC from the same time as us. They fell pregnant after a year and after a little while we lied and said we'd stopped TTC for a holiday as we were getting annoyed with them. They'd felt the pain of not conceiving for a year but proceeded to bombard us with it, to the point of taking us through the app so we could see how the baby would grow etc. If they hadn't of known we were struggling it wouldn't bother me. I felt sometimes they were pushing me to see if I'd break. That's kind of put me off telling people. You don't think rationally when it hurts and I don't want to fall out with anyone over it.

I'm 31 in December so I feel your pain. I'd love more than 1 so I feel like time is ticking also.
It's good that your relationship is so strong and you have each other to rely on. My hubby is definitely feeling a lot of guilt and he said the other night "I bet you wish you'd married someone who didn't have this issue" which broke my heart. I'm gutted for him as I knew he'd feel this way. We've started to have a little chuckle about it saying how his swimmers are too lazy which is good. I would rather be married to him and have no children (if that's how it needs up) than be married to someone else with my own football team. I just remind him I didn't marry him for his sperm 😂

@Gem0912 oh that seems a little insensitive! I can see why you're put off telling people.

DP was soo similar to your husband. The first thing he said was "I wish you'd met someone else" which broke me. Before my partner I came out of a 10 year relationship with someone because they didn't want children (amongst other things) So my partner is feeling very guilty. I said to him I'd rather be with him and have no children than be with anyone else!
People are starting to ask what he wants for his birthday and Xmas, he keeps saying "new swimmers" 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

@WhiskeyInTheJar33 It is but I know they didn't do it maliciously and if we told them they'd upset us they'd be gutted. It's all about perception isn't it and what people think would upset others. It's nice having our parents know now as both sets are so supportive.
That's definitely something my husband would say. It's good to be able to laugh about it and make it more lighthearted. We've been dealt a rubbish hand but it is what it is and we've got to deal with it.
I really hope it turns out that you qualify for NHS funding. I'll keep everything crossed.
My hubby has another SA in 3 months so he's going to cut out alcohol caffeine and reduce his stress. It'll be a huge punch to the gut if it doesn't improve

Hi @Gem0912
Just thought I would pipe up... So my partners sperm analysis tests have always been abnormal, firstly very low motility abs secondly teratozoospermia (low morphology)... We still managed to conceive our DS and DD with ivf (I also have low ovarian reserve).
Moving on to today... We are going for number 3 and my partner had his sperm analysis... For the last 3 months I have fed him numerous vitamins that I researched would improve his sperm... And he had the BEST result today! His count has doubled, his motility is well over normal and his morphology is normal... The clinic said it was an excellent sample.
It just shows that it can change/improve!
Xx

@firefly37 ahhh thank you so much for that. That's amazing. Hubby is cutting out caffeine and alcohol and we're researching vitamins and supplements. His second sperm sample is booked in for early December. What vitamins and supplements did your partner take?

@Gem0912... So partner takes Proceive for men, coq10, l carnitine, NAC, alpha lipoic and omega 3! I think that's all!

@firefly37 Thank you for sharing these! I've got an IVF book called it starts with the egg and those are the supplements they recommend also.