Having to walk through the maternity unit

[Svenalma]

I need a little hand holding. I feel like no one truly understands.
I have severe endometriosis which has many complications and I'm regularly at the hospital. I can't fall pregnant and at 38 I've sort of given up and tried to block it out especially because I'm trying to get my health back
Every time I go for an appointment I have to either walk through the maternity hospital or wait their for bloods or my gynaecologist.
It's really hit me and I had a bit if a cry about it.
I can't explain why.
The other day I had to wait to see my gynaecologist in the same waiting room as pregnant women getting their bloods.
Last week I had a urodynamics test....catheters in my bladder. It was very painful especially on the walk out, past babies and their mums.
I don't resent mums I just feel at a loss.
I'm baffled that women can have loads of babies seemingly just like that when I can't have one. My friends literally had sex a few times and bingo.
I'm just rambling but the pain and upset of having to always be in an antenatal hospital Everytime.
Please tell me I'm not alone in this? And how to I block it out? I tend to be in hospital every 4 to 6 weeks

Thank you x

Can you talk to one of the nurses and find out if you can be seen elsewhere or in a separate room? I had multiple miscarriages and when I had confirmation scans and my d&cs I was put in a room and a then a bed with pregnant ladies next to me. It is really too traumatic with that on top. Their joy next to your despair.
WhI’ll it’s not always avoidable , there are sometimes separate rooms you can be seen in if you ask. Please do speak up to minimise your pain. For my last d&c I stayed in a room away from the pregnant ladies and it really helped.
I assume the visits are to remove and deal with the endo? What is the prognosis?
Hopefully, if it can be removed as far as possible you will fall pregnant then. I have adenomyosis and am in second trimester now. Some of us have such a battle to get our babies and it’s unfortunate that that’s life. Others have hardships in other areas of their lives. That’s how I look at it. The pain I’ve been through has also taught me a lot about what I took for granted and has been very humbling and I appreciate strangely the lessons on life I have learned from it. I’m a very changed person after the grief and traumas.

You are definitely not alone @Svenalma I think seeing pregnant women and babies is a massive trigger for most people having infertility treatment.

On Monday I had an NK biopsy, it was done at the Coventry implantation failure clinic, which is run by Tommy's, the recurrent miscarriage clinic is part of the same service. They asked me to sit in the hospital corridor until they called me in. I have no idea what the ward opposite was, but as I sat there I saw more heavily pregnant women coming out complaining about how uncomfortable they were, than I'd ever seen before ever. Who's idea was it to put a clinic like the one I was attending next to this place! I felt so sad as I looked down at my phone trying to avoid looking up. So I just want to say, I feel you

I'm absolutely convinced a man designed the women's health areas of hospitals. I've been back and forth recently after discovering my pregnancy was not viable. They had me and DH waiting on a busy corridor right by the maternity unit. It's so insensitive.