1or 2 embryos

[Infertilitywarrior]

I seem to be putting things on this group regularly now sorry 😂
You are all so knowledgeable and I love your opinions
My next dilemma after phone call with consultant is 1 or 2 embryos next time?
With my last FET ending in a chemical they have offered me the chance to have 2 embryos implanted. I have always dreamed of having twins and I know it's not as simple as that but obviously there's a good chance with transferring 2 but now there's the dilemma of do i implant 1 or 2 as obviously there are risks with having 2 implant. Im a strong believer in if its meant to be its meant to be but first I've got to make a decision 🙈
Am I being selfish wanting 2 transferred or am I thinking too much into it?
Thank you all 😘

How many transfers have you done? What quality are the remaining embryos and what was your age when the embryos were taken? The answer is so personal but for me when I was offered to transfer two on my 2nd transfer after a chemical -after reading all the info and knowing that the first one had implanted (therefore thinking there was a good chance the next would and I hopefully didn’t have an issue with implantation) I decided for me the risks of twin pregnancy weren’t worth it. For me, I would prob only have considered it after several failed transfers or with low quality embryos. I’m very risk adverse tho and anxious and for me if I found out it was twins I would be worrying the whole pregnancy that they were ok. My anxiety runs away with itself tho-if you have a different mindset you would probably have a very different experience.

This is obv not based on scientific fact either but as a teacher I have quite often seen twins have mild to moderate to severe needs over my career too-so that was in the back of my mind.

This is something I couldn’t have got in the headspace for before becoming pregnant but I really struggled adapting to being a mum and found it very demanding in the early days and it must be really hard work with twins.

Just for your info -my second transfer was successful and I have a one year old -so for me holding out and only transferring one was the right thing. But it’s so personal and you are def not being selfish! I def considered it -but in the end for me and my situation transferring one was the right decision. Good luck! It’s not an easy decision !

@mouse1234567
I've had 1 transfer that ended in chemical and honestly I always thought I would only ever be offered to transfer 1 egg so now its come as a bit of a shock and I'm superstitious where I believe everything happens for a reason, I feel I've been offered 2 eggs for a reason and feel so conflicted saying no. They say my embryos are very good quality but I have never really been told much more than that.
Even before finding out I couldn't fall pregnant naturally I always always wanted twins but I'm the same as you I get anxious about the risks but at the same time feel that they wouldn't offer me 2 if the risks were massive. See that's my anxiety taking over pulling me one way then the other backwards and forwards 😂
I feel like if I say yes to 2 eggs that I'm risking it working at all but does it even work like that. Or what if I only do 1 and it doesn't work and I regret it or it does work and I always think what if
I actually can't make a decision 😂
The info about twins having additional needs is actually really helpful and it's something that I would definately look into the same as I am doing for risks of multiple pregnancies risks of 2 embryos being transferred etc etc because I research things all the time 😂

I transferred 2 and had twins. It's bloody amazing and I'm loving it but these aren't my first children so i guess I was a lot more confidant in my ability to cope (and actually I'm finding it pretty easy!)

Not going to lie pregnancy was brutal - I was fit and healthy before but I was pretty much on bed rest from 18 weeks, my resting heart rate went from 67 to nearly 110. I couldn't walk far or stand for long. If I hadn't been able to work from home I would have been buggered

I had huge bleeds from 28 weeks when we were told they could come early - I nearly lost my little twin due to SIUGR and I had them at 34 weeks when we all nearly died from placental abruption and haemorrhage. They spent 3 weeks in NICU (I had to go home without them). But aside from one other twin mum I know who heart gave out during the c section (she's fine now) everyone else I know had pretty uncomplicated twin pregnancies. It was a huge stress for me as I've lost several babies before - there is a documentary on channel 4 at the moment about the medical team at a hospital which looks after high risk twin and triplet pregnancies - every night I was just glad to get through another day with my babies

The cost is BIG - we have a term time only childminder at a monthly cost of £1400 for full time childcare - if you live in London forget about getting anything that cheap - you'll be paying twice the cost

Only do it if you are comfortable with the physical emotional and financial cost. You could just as easily have triplets from a double transfer than twins

Aside from all the negative stuff above having twins is just the best. I do have this "feeling" that my twins needed each other to stick if that makes sense (they were my 4th transfer) and the embryology tram specifically chose those 2 to go together as they "complemented" each other - they were actually my lowest graded embryos Of the 4 I had frozen

@twinningatlife
Thank you for your honest answer although it sounds as though you had the scariest time 😬 I'm so torn and have spent hours researching what is the best option. What is scarying me is what if I transfer 2 and it all goes wrong I'll feel responsible for it not working or what if I transfer 1 and it doesn't work I'll wish I had done 2.
It's so scary to research the risks of twin pregnancy but surely there's loads of people out there that have a smooth twin pregnancy too. I'm scared of anything happening to me or to the babies if it worked but my god I'm driving myself mad 😂 how do i actually make a decision 😂
I just don't know if I can actually turn down 2 embryos because I feel guilty doing so xx