Another failed cycle

[greendress789]

BFN this morning after donor egg FET. Been TTC number 2 for 5 years.

Have had 5 failed transfers of own egg from 2016-2019 including a chemical.

Switched to donor egg. Failed fresh cycle. Had immunes looked at. Minor issues rectified using steroids and lymphocyte immunisation therapy (fucking painful and expensive treatment). Just did the FET - another BFN. Had uterus tested for NKC - all fine.

Husband has low morphology and slightly low motility. Has been on supplements for years. Very fit and exercises regularly. Doesn't cycle. Loose boxers. Rarely goes over the weekly recommended units of alcohol. Drinks 1 coffee a day. Been to see Dr Ramsay who says nothing wrong that can't be overcome by ICSI.

I use clexane and lubion when cycling. Had my progesterone tested just before transfer. 4 x cyclogests a day. Had the scratch.

We've had ICSI, IMSI, PICSI. Been to 5 different clinics here and abroad. Tried everything! Have had transfers ranging from hatching blastos, 5AA, all the way down to 4BC. My DC was a 4BB.

We have a child via ICSI born in 2014 (own egg FET). So desperate to give him a sibling but have forked out so much not to mention the emotional cost.

Just don't know what to do anymore. Please help 😢

Oh @greendress789 I'm so sorry, what a time you've had. I'm not sure I can offer any advice on proactive things to do, because I expect you've done them all already.

My friend is in a lot of donor egg groups, DE can improve the chances of success, but even in the best possible circumstances with a euploid embryo, there is always going to be at least 30% chance it won't work.

I know that a lot of those on the donor groups go into the first donor transfer hoping this will work as it's something different, and for some it does, but others it doesn't, which can be completely normal statistically.

I think it may come down to trying a few more transfers. And I know that sounds shit, because I literally had the same thing said to me yesterday and I found it really upsetting, I still have a few tests left- a hysteroscopy and NK cells and I know that after that, that's it, there are no more tests, it will just come down to transferring embryos.

Thanks @Gardenlady543. I've had 10 embryos transferred in total over 7 cycles - may be slightly more or less, I can't even count them anymore.

Really thought egg donor was the missing link. Failed. Sorted out immunes. Still failed.

Spent so much money - at least £50k.

I'm sorry you're also struggling. I've seen you on these boards and have also followed your story. So we just do more transfers? That doesn't guarantee anything. And all the while we get older. I started this age 37, now 42.

I feel you @greendress789 it is just a rubbish situation to be in.

I have recently had a FET and just like you I thought I had the missing link: we found awful microflora which was treated, add in that I was using aspirin and heparin, a euploid embryo and had my transfer timed for the ERA and once again BFN.

Every day that goes by I move closer to surrogacy. I always thought I would be the one carrying for someone who couldn't. Earlier today I read about a lady who went for surrogacy having been someone else's surrogate in the past! The money just disappears once you start having all the extras that have no evidence base to them.

I think once we have done all the tests, that's it, there is a gap in the knowledge for why a transfer doesn't work despite everything looking perfect. And clinics can't offer anything except try another transfer.

I'm really sorry @Gardenlady543.

I don't even know where to begin with surrogacy. Is it expensive?

I have a DC already which means I can do this I just don't know why this isn't happening for us.

@greendress789 I think surrogacy abroad costs at least £50,000. And definitely won't be an easy ride. But I think in my situation if it doesn't happen soon I will need to make a decision between paying for a specialist clinic and spending that much and potentially ending up with nothing or going for surrogacy.

Good luck @Gardenlady543.

Having a dc already softens the blow. I really for you 💐

Have you done any PGS testing of the embryos? If you are set on doing another cycle I would perhaps look at that?

I do know a couple of people who used surrogates but they were family members (siblings) who offered so no real financial cost involved

I watched a documentary on BBC I think earlier in the year on surrogacy and to be honest I found it a bit distasteful - these "events" are organised where potential parents meet the potential surrogates (obviously far far fewer surrogates than parents) and it came across a bit like speed dating - a personality contest if you will. It seemed like one surrogate chose the parents because she clearly found the man attractive (and in her words wanted to carry "his" baby!). I felt sorry for those parents who weren't perhaps as sociable or less forward who would most likely be overlooked at these events

(Disclaimer - obviously I do know that this was a documentary and heavily edited im sure so maybe it's not really like that but that's the impression I got anyway)

@twinningatlife I had PGS testing on my cycle jn 2019. Nothing came back normal which is why we went for donor eggs.

Had my review with the consultant today following failed cycle.

She basically said to try again 😐

Hi @greendress789 I did think that's what they'd say. I know it's disheartening. When I spoke with Prof Brosens last week he said that as a menstruating species the lining is different every cycle. The embryos are also unique.

Things clearly need to line up and sometimes we have to keep doing transfers until statistics are on our side and it works.

How many transfers though? This is my 7th 😢