Hope over experience - how long do you keep trying?

[Meg575]

Hi,

I'm not feeling sorry for myself, I'm genuinely interested in other people's perspective...

Hubby and I have been TTC for 5 years, no luck naturally, one full cycle which included 2 failed FETs and 1 early miscarriage.

We're now on cycle two, 27 eggs collected on fri, 10 fertilised yesterday, waiting to find out if we've got anything to freeze on day 5. We previous had a high attrition rate so there's a very real chance we won't have any. The clinic have tweaked our treatment but results so far (numbers and my reaction) are almost identical.

“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results - Einstein”

We want desperately to be parents but sometimes I wonder if we're just torturing ourselves. My health, life events and COVID meant we took a significant break between cycles and not thinking about our infertility felt so good.

We've got so much to be thankful for so I wonder sometimes if we should be happy with the life we have but don't want to feel like we've given up.

When is enough enough?

Yours,

hopeful but realistic

X

Hi @Meg575 I think only you will know the answer to this question and everyone's experience will be different. I don't think there is any right or wrong answer only what's best for you and your partner at this present time. I haven't been trying as long as you (3.5 years) but after 2 failed cycles and seeing friends now who TTC after us now pregnant with a second I sometimes feel the time why do I keep trying when it keeps failing, why do I keep torturing myself but the average couple needs 2-3 cycles for a successful pregnancy and I'm personally not ready to stop trying yet.

I wouldn't see it as 'giving up' if you don't pursue IVF anymore as I think it subconsciously puts negative connotations on something that might be the best thing for your mental/physical/financial health.

Of course you might not even need to think about this depending on the outcome of your cycle! Good luck however it turns out and whatever you decide xxx

Hi OP, I understand how you feel, and dealing with infertility unfortunately has a lot of moments like these.

I would say keep going, maybe next time will be the one. Also, you're not doing the same thing over and over again.. As you said, the clinic is changing your protocol.

I wish you good luck and sending you lots of love and positivity!

Totally get how you are feeling. It's so tough. However, it can take 3-4 cycles to only get to an evens chance of a BFP and as you have had a few goes off one cycle it sounds like you have a great chance of getting there. We got lucky on our third cycle (4th transfer). It's so hard to keep on going. Only you will know when the time is right to close the chapter. Wishing you the best of luck 🤞🏻